He Doesn't Want Others to Think He's Weird or Perverted Being a Furry

Hey there Papabear,

I have not really been part of this fandom for a long time, but I really want to get involved. I just feel like too many people will think that I'm weird, or perverted.

Cheshire Cat

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Dear Cheshire,

I understand. I don't think there are many furries out there who have not struggled with the fear of rejection by non-furry family, friends, and associates. Human beings have an innate desire to be accepted by others because we are social animals. We judge ourselves, therefore, against the touchstone of what is considered "normal" in our culture and age. We should first consider that this standard has been malleable over time. Right now, in 21st-century America, we are somewhere, morally, between Puritan New England and the height of the Roman Empire. If you compare furry behavior to what was acceptable back in Rome (if you watch that video), you'd find yourself to be extremely tame.

What I'm getting at is that the problem is not your sense of what is proper but rather how it compares to others. So, the question is, who is in charge of your life? You or society? If society is in charge, then it will prevent you from having fun and participating in the fandom. If you are in charge of your life and destiny, then you will do what you enjoy and have a happier life.

The other factor has to do with whether or not you are open about your furriness. Many choose to be furry and not tell family members, and others have good relationships with parents etc. and go ahead and tell them. You might also be surprised by how many people are actually fine with your being a furry. I always think of my friend Tycho Aussie, who told his coworkers and they enjoy him fursuiting in the office; another example is the Furry Cruise off the coast of Florida. Furries share the ship with non-furries and the mundanes love it.

Often, though, the best way to do talk with mundanes who don't understand the deeper psychological and spiritual aspects of it, is to just talk about it in terms of costuming fun. Compare it to, say, Star Trek fans or to people who like to dress up as zombies on Halloween. If you aren't a fursuiter, you can compare it to all the literature and movies out there that feature anthro characters and that mundanes find perfectly acceptable (Disney films spring to mind). For example, when I showed my very conservative mother my fursuit, I just told her it was for mascot work and that it was just a fun thing for me to do and she was okay with it, even bored by it. So, when explaining this stuff to unexposed mundanes, just do it in terms you think they'll understand and don't try to tell them in terms furries relate to.

Good luck! Stay Furry!

Papabear