Having Problems Connecting? You Might Try Second Life

Hey PapaBear,

I have really enjoyed your advice columns they have let me think about other people' problems and how I would respond to them, and they have also helped me in some of my question area's. (Notably, the creative writer's one!) They really let me think and help me with some of my fandom-ish problems*. 

Now I'd like to leave my cards on the table.

I live in a small town, middle of nowhere, so I can't be drawn into a city-type environment, so maybe that affects me more than I think, but I feel at a loose disconnect with the fandom. I've done many thinks a beginner furry might do: I've built my own tail (best thing I've made out of art class, hehe), and I've written stories (sadly, not one of them are truly completed, drifted off them.) My cousin is also a furry, and I enjoy doing little fursona for my friends. I just have the problem of not really be able to connect to my thoughts (my cousin live a nice time away). I love to read a books, once I'm in it I just can't it it down. I consider myself a teacher pet (Ha Pun), but no one really thinks like I do, well, fandom related, I guess.

Sorry for trailing off a bit.

Thanks,

Failaria Talerum FT (age 15)

*Being accepted by the ones around me because I'm a furry.

* * *

Hi, Failaria,

It sounds like you’re asking how to better connect to furries. Unfortunately, you don’t provide your location, so I can’t research your area to see if there are furry groups close to you or not. Yours is a pretty common problem that I have seen before: furries living in rural or other remote areas who have a hard time getting to furcons or furmeets. Also, since you are only 15, you can’t drive anywhere yourself—although if you could hook up with some nearby furries you might carpool somewhere.

While it is always preferred in social interactions to have real-life contact, in those situations where that is not possible we are fortunate enough to live in a technological age where we can connect online. I would recommend you search on Facebook for furries with your interests and see if you can make some friends there. Also, Furry4Life is great because they have interest groups all set up for you. For example, I belong to Greymuzzle, Bear, and Fursuiting groups on F4L. You say you made a tail and, I suppose, you might be interested in doing more than that? Join a fursuiting and fursuit makers groups, which would be a super way for you to get tips about making fursuits and accessories and making new friends.

But the king of furtual reality is Second Life. Yes, there are other virtual communities (InWorldz at http://inworldz.com/ is very similar, I understand), but I think SL is probably the best known and most popular virtual reality hang out for furries. Here, you can buy and customize furry avatars, go to furry clubs, even buy real estate and set up a business using the Linden Dollars currency. I used to hang out in SL a lot, but haven’t in years because my RL became so busy, but if you are desperately seeking some social connection with furries and have the time and a computer with a decent Internet connection, then Second Life might be just the thing for you.

Good luck!

Papabear