Dear Papa Bear,
I'm having a serious problem. It all started Jan 2, 2013 (it "started" earlier, but the problem itself was on the second).
I was painting the bathroom in our 2/2 bed/bath apartment, living with my Mom and Sister, as well as my nephew (sister's kid).
My sister, seeing that I had been maniacally texting a friend, decided to invade my phone, looking at my inbox.
Normally I don't text much, but I had recently garnered a friendship with a guy in PA (me being in CA).
My sister, seeing the stuff I had been texting my friend (Roleplaying, and he's been helping me accept being gay, and was answering my questions...) and jacked my phone, showing the messages to my mother later that night.
At the same time my mother was looking at my phone, she told me to remove the password on my computer, in order for her to look at the files I had on it, look at my email, and my facebook. Needless to say, she saw my limited yiff collection, but she was completely incensed that my friend was ripping folders of yiff and emailing them to me. Me being seventeen, and him being over eighteen, my mother was completely pissed.
She had threatened to report him to the authorities, but I couldn't bear the thought of sending him to jail on account of my "stupidity," as I told her that same night.
She offered me a one-sided ultimatum. If I never texted, never emailed, never facebooked him, and never called him, as well as never went ANYWHERE NEAR Pennsylvania, she would never report him... Needless to say I cried a lot during that final night in which she allowed me to text him goodbye.
What can I do? I'm still heart broken, I'm having fantasies and dreams of killing my mother and sister (although I'm not so stupid as to actually act on them), and I am despondent during the days, pouring over my reading books and listening to Audioslave, Three Days Grace, and a limited selection of 3 Doors Down...
I feel like I'm breaking apart, I don't know what I can do now.
What can I do?
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How close are you to being 18? Once that happens, your bf in PA is not guilty of anything.
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My bday is March 2. Cant she still get him reported and sent to jail, even if i am 18 and move to PA?
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If you are both 18 and of legal age, he has not done anything illegal, so, no, she can't get him in legal trouble. You are both adults at that point. She CAN refuse to financially support you, she CAN kick you out of her house, but only after you are 18, which is when she is no longer obligated by law to support you. She can't throw you or your bf in jail.
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The police can't hold the yiff he sent me wen i was 17 against him at that point?
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Teenagers looking at porn is not unusual. As long as the porn does not involve underage individuals, I would say you are fine. I would, if I were you, simply lay low for a few months until your birthday. If it makes you feel better, delete the porn on your computer. Be advised I am not an attorney, so if you are REALLY concerned, you might seek one out, but the two of you have not had sex, and there is no law I know of that teenagers flirting with each other, even if you are gay. Furthermore, he is in PA, where the age of consent is 16, not 18. I don't know what the laws are regarding interstate flirtations, but one argument is that you can't exactly have sex when you are on opposite sides of the country.
My advice would be to keep things on the back burner until you're 18. Your mother, it seems, is trying to take advantage of your ignorance of the law to threaten and control you; either that, or she is ignorant of the law herself, which is also quite possible.
ALSO, since there is only 1 year's difference between the two of you, in California the law states that if the age difference is fewer than 3 years, then the WORST he can be charged with is a misdemeanor, and no one gets thrown in prison for a misdemeanor. (See this link: http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=pen&group=00001-01000&file=261-269).
Stay calm, you'll be fine. Hugs.
P.S. Never really a good idea to exchange naked pics on the Internet; you never know where they will end up.
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Would it change anything if he sent me a shirtless pic of himself, to ask if he was my type, and I sent a shirtless one back, searching for confirmation that I was not ugly/to gain more confidence in my body?
What I look at does not involve underage individuals; I mostly look at Jay Naylor, Meesh, Redrusker, etc. on Furaffinity and Tumblr.
If I could know FOR SURE that I can move to Pennsylvania after I turn 18 and get out of High School, without fearing my mother's retribution for doing so in the form of reporting him and screwing with his life, that will make my remaining six months in this pit much brighter...
Thanks for talking to me.
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I really don't know the fine-point legalities, but a shirtless picture of a male is not porn. You see it at the beach and by the pool any day of the year. Again, the worst that could happen would be a misdeamenor, but I find that HIGHLY HIGHLY unlikely. Also, he's in a different state and the charge would be in California, and I really doubt that anything will come of it. Like I said, for now, stop sending pics back and forth, just to be careful. Play it smart.
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Alright, thank you so much for helping me feel more comfortable with this situation. I've found a friend, Alex, who is looking into the "fine-point legalities," since he wants to become a lawyer, this could be a good start for him.
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