Furry Worries That Resentful Popufur Will Trash Reputation

Dear Papabear,

I know that the people my parents used to tell me to stay away from when I was a kid. And I also know some of those people are around on the internet. It's not my place to judge them, but there are just some people- I'm referring mainly to furries here - who are rude, arrogant, controlling, abusive of their fame, douchey and downright creepy.

It is, of course, very rude to just point fingers at those people and call them that. I've seen on fur in particular, we are online in the same furry websites, and I see him through his posts, artwork and comments; his attitude is very unappealing, he's very loud and controlling; arrogant, attention-seeking and dramatic. But he is very popular and has a huge amount of watchers and patrons.

And then he approached me, trying to make friends. He followed me then tried adding me to his friends list, but I declined, because I didn't know him and I only add people I know to my friends list.

Then he goes and comments: “What's wrong? Don't you like me?” And I found that very off-putting. And after I explained that I don't put strangers in my friends list, he leaves me a message: “Do what you want. Whatever.”

[He] has in fact done something before to a person who blocked him: he openly mocked the blocker in a public chat. But since that person was famous, and also was like an assistant to the admin, some people even sided with him. My friend (whom the person I don't like said I shouldn't be friends with) said that the person I don't like has a bad background for being dramatic. And I do see it from that person's actions.

That's why I'm worried he may do the same to me, or to my friends. And now, he unwatched me, and then pointed out to one of the old friends I have on my friends list, saying that “she’s not a good person, you should stay away from her ... etc.”

Papabear, I really don’t want to be friends with this person. I’m worried, though, that if I just block him, he will make a huge deal out of it, be dramatic about it to his watchers and maybe even spread rumors.

What is the right way to talk to him? And tell him that he can’t just force his friendship on me? And is there anything I can do to protect myself and my friends from what he might do with all his fame?

With thanks in advance,

-- Jon

* * *

Hi, Jon,

One word for the person you just described: immature. Of course, all popufurs are such, having a pathetic need to be validated by the recognition of people they don’t even know or particularly care about. Then, when rebuffed by people like you, they take instant offense and act like collosal derps. Such people need to lay down on a psychologist’s couch and get some serious brain inspection work in this bear’s opinion.

So, you are concerned that this popufur is now going to spread nasty rumors about you because you rejected being sucked into their pathetic world of ego masturbation? Don’t worry about it, hon. Know why? Because your real friends will know you are cool, and those who are intelligent and can recognize a popufur when they see one will consider the source and take their words for what they are: garbage.

Since you are not interested in being this person’s friend (and who can blame you?) there is no need to try to talk to them. And there is no need to worry about what this person says about you.  Rumors cannot stick if they are not applicable to the person being burned. In other words, if you are a good person in real life, that reputation you build on being a good person will trump any unsubstantiated rumor by a infantile popufur.

My guess is that this person is only popular and has a following because he or she draws furporn and does so very well. Am I correct? I’d be curious to see if my instincts work even when I am tired, hehe.

So, to summarize, Jon, the only person you have to prove your worth to is yourself. When you are confident in your own value as a good human being, you treat others around you well, which is a good way to make and keep real friends. When you have good friends and, hopefully, a family who loves you, who cares what other people think? Especially people who aren’t even worth keeping as friends on Facebook?

Chill, hon. You’re doing fine. Don’t bother talking to the derpy popufur. There are more important things in life to worry about.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear