I need a little help; honestly I don't know I should start, so I'll try it.
I just started a new relationship some months ago (9 months exactly) my mate is kind and funny, he always knows how to make me laugh when I have a bad day. We've been sharing so many things and trust each other but recently he has been asking me for sex, I've been telling him "maybe next time" "I'm not ready" and stuff like that.
The reason? well, there's something I've been keeping as a secret from him and even from my best friend; it's embarrassing for me to say it but since I've been reading some of the letters published here, I guess I shouldn’t feel that way because you sound like a kind bear who always help other furries in need.
I'll say it and hope this won't sound strange or make readers feel uncomfortable: I have two vaginas, that's right, you read it well. Even though it's not a risk for my health, this condition makes me feel like a freak and makes me think that I will never have a normal sexual life. Honestly, I don't know how I'm supposed to tell my mate this or even if I should tell him.
I'm so desperate because I'm afraid that if I don't tell him I'll lose him or if I tell him I'll lose him anyway.
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What you have is a condition called “uterus didelphys.” It is, obviously, something you are born with in which you have two vaginas, two uteruses, and two of all the other reproductive organs a female normally has. There are other women out there like you, and though the condition isn’t common, there are quite a few cases of it.
In your form submission, you mention you are 36 years old. I would hope that, by this time, you have seen a gynecologist and talked to your doctor about your condition. Women with uterus didelphys can sometimes suffer from menstrual pain and sometimes have trouble with pregnancy (a C-section is usually needed when the baby is brought to term), but this is not always the case. Often, women can have normal, healthy lives.
That you have waited so long before having a serious relationship with a man to the point you are considering sex tells Papabear how extremely uncomfortable you are with this. People are often uncomfortable whenever they feel “different” from the norm. But there ARE people out there just like you. In fact, here is a good website for you to meet them and get more information: http://uterusdidelphys.webs.com/.
Now, about your boyfriend. First of all, you should never allow yourself to be pressured to have sex when you don’t want it. However, if you WANT to have sex with this man, you should not let your condition keep you from having a satisfying sex life. You can approach this two ways: 1) Don’t tell him and just go to bed with him. Chances are he will be so excited he won’t even notice you have two vaginas, though he might briefly wonder why your parts feel a bit different (let’s face it, men are pigs when it comes to sex, LOL—I can say that, because I am one); 2) You can tell him from the get-go about your condition. Tell him that you can have sex like any other woman, it’s just that your parts are a bit different—there is actually a chance that this guy will think it’s pretty cool—just being frank here.
If your boyfriend is a good person, he will stay with you no matter what because he loves you. If he leaves you because of this issue, then he is not good boyfriend material anyway. A good mate is a loyal and loving mate. Never let fear make the decisions for you. Be who you are; love with all your heart; love fearlessly.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is part of who you are and, bearing in mind the possible medical side effects you might have (sometimes women with uterus didelphys have problems with miscarriages), you can have a good and healthy life. You’re in your thirties; it is way past time for you to come to terms with it and try and enjoy the life you have been given.
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