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Furry Is Teased at School for Wearing Partial

4/26/2017

2 Comments

 
Hey PB. 

I've been a pretty active furry for the past few years, and it's brought me a lot of joy. I love the acceptance and overwhelming positivity. Now, when I bring up my issue, I'm gonna avoid names(I'll use OC names), and not get too personal, but I'll try to make it understandable. I recently went through an argument with a lot of my friends. I broke up with my friends, Cinder, TK, and Peck. Right now the people sticking by me are my friends Velvet, Muffy, and Zip. Now, as you may be familiar, teen friend break ups can be quite emotional and dramatic. I've been pretty down in the dumps lately, especially since Peck tried to convince me everyone hated me, and once TK tried to convince my buddy Ash not to be friends with me anymore. One of the things that really pulls me through how awful drama is, is furry. I wear a pair of ears attached to a headband, and a tail attached to my belt every day, and they always make me feel more unique, especially when people say I look cute or say the tail is so soft and adorable.

​But, with the positive people, also comes the negatives. I was working on a project in class while this kid kept pestering me asking "how do you make a furry?" He was really asking how to make my tail, as he didn't understand any fursuiting terms. Though I explained, it became clear quick that he was just setting up a punchline at my expense. Then, when I was getting ready to play my instrument at a pep rally, a trumpet player standing being me pulls my tail. I reflexively looked back, and typically as they always do, he blamed it on someone else. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Then another kid grabbed my tail with both hands and yanked it enough to pull my pants waistband a solid centimeter away from my body. I turned around and got in his face, then politely asked him to refrain. He just repeatedly yelled. "Guys help! I'm being beat up by a furry." I gave up. After two more tail pulls, one almost knocking me to the ground, they gave up because I stopped reacting. I'm tired of this. I just wish I could cope using the one thing that makes me happy without getting constantly bullied for it. I'm considering not wearing them anymore, but I don't want to have to change who I am when it shouldn't be an issue and the first place. I'm so confused. How can I express the things that make me happy if I'm just going to get bullied for it?


Thank you so much for reading, sorry if this is unorganized.

Osh (age 13)

* * *

Dear Osh,

You are learning a sad truth about human society: humans want conformity, not individuality. Oh, sure, in America we say that we are for freedom of expression and we are for people being individuals, but in practice, it isn't true. You might notice that although most schools do not have uniforms, there is still a code of how you should dress, as well as act, at school in order to be accepted by your peers.

Osh, there is a time and place for everything. If you don't want to be molested at school, you are going to have to wear the ears and tail elsewhere, because no matter what you do, you are going to get bullied. That is just a fact of life. And it doesn't matter if you complain to the principal's office because they will likely do nothing much about it (unless you are actually hurt physically). They might even tell you to put away the ears and tail, as I am now doing.

Does it suck? Yeah, it sure does. I once had a young girl write to me and tell me about a day at school when her teacher said you can dress up as whatever you would like to be. Encouraged, she put on her furry gear and showed up at class. You know what they did? They took her to the school psychiatrist's office.

And that's how mundanes are. Conformists. Hypocrites. And, often, bullies.

And that is why those in the furry community have furmeets and furcons. Those are the places we go where we can be ourselves.

I would suggest you try and find some like-minded furries your age at school and host a little gathering at your home (with parental approval, of course).

Sorry for the bad news, but it is a lesson you will have to learn in life.

Hugs,
Papabear 
​
2 Comments
Troj
4/30/2017 08:19:26 pm

It Gets Better.

Some people are just bullies or jerks by nature, but as somebody who's been there, I can say that a lot of the people I knew who were idiots or jerks when I was a kid actually grew out of that and matured into pretty decent people.

As you grow up and move into the world, you'll be better able to find the members of your "tribe"---some of whom will be furry, and some of whom won't be--and you'll have more power to decide who you want to spend your time with, and who you don't.

The most important thing is to just hold on to your identity, your values, your dreams, and your passions, because living life well is the best revenge.

And yeah, Osh will have to decide what's more important to him--expressing himself, or flying under the radar---and then accept the good things and bad things that come with that choice. (And there may also be creative ways Osh can still express himself without drawing attention from bullies--he'll just have to brainstorm!) We all have to decide which hills we're willing to die on, and which games aren't worth the candle. We just have to decide what our ultimate goal or "endgame" is.

But, even when we can't express ourselves fully or authentically in a certain areas--heck, I can't wear a fursuit to work, either--we can take solace in the times and places where we can be ourselves, and celebrate the rare, wonderful people who support us in that.

Reply
Papabear
5/8/2017 11:28:18 am

That was lovely, Troj. Thank you for writing.

Reply



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