Furry Is Attracted to Older Men

Hi Papabear,

I discovered your site through FA's ads and decided to pose a question. Since I was little, I’ve always been attracted to older furry characters (Quetzal from Dragon Tales #1, Spike from Tom and Jerry being my #2.). My massive love for Quetzal actually is strong enough to make my current mate jealous. Recently, that strength has led me to become attracted to older men whether it is muscle guys or big burly dudes with some belly on them. Prior to this, I wasn't attracted to humans at all, and that made things very difficult when it came to seeking out a mate. I am very spiritual and have always known things that didn't have to be told to me. I have a sixth sense and knew the time was not right to come out about any of this to family. My family is very diverse but there is a sense of strong Christian views and when I came out to my mom last year, she made herself forget. It hasn't been brought up since and I don't plan to. 

I am preparing to move out next year, right now I'm saving for a new Mustang and getting my financial life sorted out. I feel like I want to ask an older guy out, despite the fact that I'm with my mate and it is very difficult to tell him as I don't want to hurt him, I don't know if he is compatible with many others as he is autistic. However, I have felt a growing distance from him. What advice do you have that could help? Namely, I am attracted to guys 40+ now. 

Anonymous

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Dear Anonymous,

Oftentimes, an attraction for an older, wiser man in your life is the result of the loss of a father figure in your real life, either through death, divorce, or perhaps you have a father but he is very distant and the two of you don’t connect. The Quetzal character from Dragon Tales is an elderly character who knows a lot about history and is a teacher, a guide to the other characters. To me, that says you are not looking for a replacement for a mate so much as you are seeking a teacher and father in your life, perhaps someone who can help you learn more about that sixth sense of yours.

Another thing that is happening here is that you are very much getting ready for adulthood, getting your financial situation in a place where you can live the adult life, have a car, get a job, live on your own and so on. I’m only guessing, but it sounds like your autistic current mate might not be ready for that and you feel he is holding you back. You want a, shall we say, “real man” in your life who can be as mature—or even more mature—than you to share your new life with.

This is all quite logical to Papabear, and while your current mate may have been right for you at an earlier time in your life, he might not be now. If that is true, then you really are not doing him any favors by staying with him as a mate, though do not discount the possibility of remaining dear friends and still being there for him in that capacity.

Keeping this in mind, you should be somewhat cautious about partnering with an older man. You are 26 and if you find a mate who is 40 or more years old there is a very real generation gap that might make it hard to relate at times. That said, it is certainly not impossible for two people who love each other to have 10, 15, or more years difference in age. It depends a lot on you, your partner, and what you want. I’m just telling you this to make sure you are aware of the potential issues it might cause.

That was a bit of a rambling answer from Papabear, but I hope it makes sense and was helpful to you.

Good luck in your upcoming life adventures!

Papabear