Furry Is Ashamed He Didn't Step in to Help Bully Victim

Hello, Papa Bear, it’s me again and I wanted to ask you another question. 

Today I was in my class and one of my friends got attacked by a student (he put him in a choke hold) and one of my other friends tried to help him. As this was going on I just sat there. I didn't help at all.

After my friend was safe (the student said he was joking around and he said the he was sorry), I thought to myself, "I should have helped. I should have done something." I felt so guilty that I didn't help. If only I could be more like my fursona (having bravery, and being strong).

But not to waste your time, Papa Bear, how can I be more like my fursona?

Werehog the Werewolf

* * *

Hi, again, Werehog,

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It sounds like a kind of scary situation, and you’re only human. When I was your age, I was very shy and afraid to get involved in things, too. I’m a lot different now than I was then (hoo boy! a lot different!) and you will change with time, too. What’s good is that you acknowledge there is room for improvement (as there is with anyone) and you want to do better. Great!

What you need is a little self-confidence and to learn not to be afraid in confrontational situations. Now, I don’t know all the circumstances of the situation you described, but a lot of the time the answer is not to join in on the fight but to alert someone in charge (in this case, a teacher or administrator) and get them to stop it. Similarly, if this were a situation outside of school, you might contact the police, if appropriate.

But there are cases where it can be important for you to get involved and help if you can, such as if no one else is there to help out, or if the situation is life-threatening and there is no time to waste. It’s not a bad idea at all to prepare for such an event.

One thing you can do is take a CPR class. This is really a good idea for anyone to do. I took one some time ago (need to take a refresher), and it is simple and you can learn a lot in just a few hours.

Another thing you can do is take self-defense classes or martial arts classes, or perhaps boxing. I would bet some are available at your school. Combine this with some weight training and aerobic exercise. Being more fit and learning to defend yourself will do wonders for your self-confidence. And when you are self-confident you will usually find that bullies and other twits will back down from you if you just look them in the eye and show that you are not scared of them.

Reminds me of an incident a few years back when I still lived in Michigan. My mate and I went to a local fairgrounds for a fireworks show. Afterwards, as often happens at such things, there were a lot of drunks around. Yogi got a little miffed when this one guy on a motorcycle almost hit him (we were walking) and said so. Well, this guy got off the bike and started yelling and threatening Yogi, and I got concerned, so I stepped in and told the biker to leave him alone. He cocked his arm back and threatened to hit me, and I was like, “Go ahead. We’re surrounded by people and there are firemen right over there.” He grumbled and stumbled off. Only thing I regret is I should have gotten his license number and reported him for drunk driving. You wanna hear something crazy? I’m actually a lot more reticent to confront a customer service person about a bad product than I am to confront a dumb jerk who thinks he’s muy macho. For CS issues, I let Yogi handle it LOL. We get a lot of free stuff that way with his New Yorker attitude (“Hey! I’m talkin’ here! Waddaya mean you won’t give me a refund? Dis product sucks more than a cannoli made in China! Get me your supervisor, I’m done talkin to youse.” Hehe, a little exaggerated about the accent).

Try taking some classes like I suggested, and realize that you are likely smarter than these droofuses who bully other people around. Don’t be afraid of them and they will back off; and be smarter than them. (If they don’t? Well, know what, I’ve been punched in the face a couple times in my life, and it really isn’t all that bad, especially when your adrenals are pumping.)

Don’t seek out violence, but prepare yourself for it. It can actually do a lot for both your mental and physical health.

Hugs,

Papabear