Furry Hides behind a Happy Mask at School

Papabear,

For a while I have always had 2 personalities. I am positive to people always but deep down I am struggling to stay alive. I am always getting bullied and made fun of because of being gay and a furry. How can I get through tough times and be positive?

Raoul (age 13, Georgia)

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My Dear Raoul,

Looks like you’re becoming familiar with one of the most difficult aspects of living within human society: trying to fit in on the outside, while becoming familiar with who you really are on the inside. Society wants us all to be the same: heterosexual, sociable, hard-working, productive citizens who produce useful goods and services to the state. On the inside, only a minority actually fit the desired stereotype. However, evolution has made humans so that they crave acceptance within society, and, once acceptance is achieved, we feel more secure because there is strength in numbers. Therefore, when our insides don’t match what is desired on the outside, we create masks, as you have done, in order to adapt.

Such personality conflicts are typical of minorities, such as LGBT people and furries. A couple things you can do here. First of all, you need to find fellow furries and/or gay people with whom you can create a social circle of support. It is important that you don’t feel alone and isolated. Secondly, you will need to learn to defend yourself. One way to do that is to report incidents of bullying to your school, whether they involve real-life or cyberbullying encounters. Georgia law is very clear that bullying is not tolerated in schools (and the state will deny funding to schools not in compliance), so your school administrators should be motivated to help you. You can also talk to a school counselor about what is happening and get some advice from him or her. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help, including your family. 

Furthermore, it doesn’t hurt to learn a bit of physical self-defense. With the caveat that you should never hit or kick someone unless absolutely necessary, it would not be a bad idea to take a self-defense class, such as martial arts.

The reality of life, Raoul, is that both you and I, being gay and furry, are likely to be persecuted in one way or another for the rest of our days. The key is to realize that this is not your fault; you are a good person, a valuable person, and it is okay for you to be gay and furry. Those who cannot accept you for being different are simply less evolved as human beings, sadly. But, in your life, you will run across people who are much more open-minded and accepting of you for you. When you find such people, cling to them and never let them out of your sight. You will learn this in the years to come. Have patience, and don’t get down on yourself. You’ll be okay as long as you refuse to believe the hateful remarks thrown at you by the ignorant and the stupid.

Bear Hugs,

Papabear