Furry Fears His Parents Won't Let Him Go to Furmeet

Papabear,

I want to go to a furmeet, but when I asked my parents, they were worried about stranger danger due to problems with my vision, lack of physical strength, and trouble interpreting social cues. I used "furry convention" instead of "furmeet" because I thought that if I'd said "furmeet" they'd worry that I wanted to meet a fur I'd been talking to online (the online communication was discovered and ended long before I asked my parents about going to a furmeet). Other than "if you're worried about my safety, you can be my chaperone" and "I've taken self-defense classes" I can't come up with any convincing arguments. Do you have any? The reason I'm telling you this is because I'm uncomfortable bringing it up with my parents.

Alec (age 18)

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Dear Alec,

Thanks for writing. Sounds like you might have some physical problems and mild autism? I can understand why your parents might be concerned. Since you are physically weak, as you say, yeah, I don’t think the “I’ve taken self-defense classes” would work, plus it implies that you might think there would be a reason you’d have to take such classes. On the other paw, having one or both parents chaperone is not a bad idea at all, and, if you haven’t suggested it already, you might give that a try. 

As an alternative, do you have any friends or other relatives your parents trust who would go with you to a furmeet? That would work just as well as one of your parents going.

My question to you would be: what do you do in other situations where there is social interaction with people your age at a party. Do your parents trust you to do things independently and, if so, why wouldn’t they trust you with a furmeet? It’s not really a con, but if you don’t like the word “meet” try “party.” Why treat a furmeet differently from any other social gathering?

I also suggest that before going to a meet like this, you have some of your furry friends come by the house and meet with you and your parents. You see, your parents are nervous because they don’t know any of the people you are about to see at the meet, yes? But if they actually knew them and met them, and came to know them as your friends not just strangers at a party, then they would get to know and trust them. If your parents are comfortable with your being a furry, surely this would not be a problem. Once they know you are just going to hang out with furries you already know and perhaps meet a few new ones, they should be more comfortable with the idea.

Understand, Alec, that your parents are only concerned about your welfare. It’s not about not trusting you, it’s about your safety. Try the suggestions above to get them to feel better that you will be safe and you stand a better chance of going and having a good time.

Hugs,

Papabear