Hello there, Papabear,
Been a long time reading and now I find myself in need of some help. A few years ago a close friend of mine up and abandoned me for what reason I have no clue (she was a wolf fur). We both thank God we’re furries; she had such a love of wolves [that I] developed one as well, thanks to her. So I thought of myself as a wolf fur, but when she left it stung worse than anything. It still hurts and ever since I’ve been wondering what kind of fur I am, so I thought I would tell you a bit about myself and ask what type of fur you think I am. I am a shy but easygoing guy. I love jokes/pranks. I am up for just about anything, and I have always loved stuff like Marvel [comics] and what not. Also I am a big WoW nerd. I have worked in an aquarium and spent lots of time with animals of all sorts. But mostly I am laid back, easy going, even if at times I have a temper on me. If you could help me with this I would be most grateful to you. Long time reader, A Confused Fur * * * Dear Confused, Hmm, Papabear sees a pattern here: first, you determined your fursona species based on your relationship with a wolf, and now you are asking a bear to determine your best species. My advice to you, then, would be to stop asking other people to define you. To find your true fursona, it can only come from one person: you. I can give you a little guidance, however. First of all, things like liking comic books and MMORPGs has nothing to do with your fursona. Personality traits like being a prankster and being laid back do. For example, a person with a highly playful personality might be an otter; a highly aggressive, dominant person who is a bit of a loner might best be defined as a dragon; a sociable, strong personality might work best as a wolf or lion—both social species. A highly spiritual person might choose a bird like a bald eagle or red-tailed hawk, and someone who feels both fragile and beautiful would do well to be a butterfly. A mysterious and awe-inspiring furry could be a blue whale. I like bears, of course, because they combine the best of cuddliness and being laid back with strength and independence. A friend of mine who loves fast cars, motorcycles, and such stuff chose the cheetah, logically, for his fursona, and another chose a porcupine, an animal that is adorable and shy but surrounds itself with a natural defense mechanism showing his guarded side. Another way to choose a fursona is just simply your attraction to a certain kind of animal. In addition to feeling that bears match my personality because of their personalities, I am also spiritually attracted to them, and my spiritual teacher is attuned to both bears and horses. Some people, too, pick hybrids that combine what they like of two or more species. Some mythological species, such as gryphons, work well in this case. On the other hand, sometimes people choose a fursona based on an animal that is not at all like their human selves. For example, someone who is really shy and has difficulty making friends might long for the camaraderie of the wolf back and see him- or herself as a wolf; someone who has been told all his life that he/she is stupid, might decide to become a wise owl; someone who is lazy and slow might, instead of picking a sloth as their fursona, become an agile monkey swinging across the forest canopy. Being a furry can mean trying to find new ways to express yourself and what you wish to be. I hope that helps you without my actually choosing a fursona for you. Hugs, Papabear
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Here's something I went through, but it was the problem of finding the right fursona. Don't be afraid to go though a few sonas. I think we all do. I went through a few sonas, and one is my main, I have a secondary due to how I feel and I keep the old ones around because deep down they're still a part of me.
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A book I can recommend is "Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small" by Ted Andrews. I found it in the library. It has descriptions of the characteristics of a lot of animals and includes some things you might not think of (like rabbits being associated with discovery of magical places - "down the rabbit hole").
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