Papabear,
How can we improve our fandom in the present days? I've seen lots of furs being rude to other furs and even forgetting people they know adding and then deleting and showing their true selves in posts and conversations. It all seems most furs have been forgotten like myself. Maybe people are forgetting others because of the posts in the past like when I was badly depressed or maybe other things came up. Some furs seen to have gone astray and pushing others away. At certain times I'm really needing furs in my life so we can all strive to help each other when needed.
I've said my words many times and journals and get brushed off as people don't care anymore like they did back then. The only time they care is when you post something about a family member or pet passing ... nothing else. I need some advice out there about how to deal with issues like this.
I'm not sure if it is all the younger people getting into furs or if it's those that think they are popular and can push others around and even people saying "I don't like you because you like such and such!" I've made many journals about this on FA and on Facebook and few replies. The only ones that would reply are those close to me, others can just push me away and sweep me under a rug and not care.
When I started the fandom back in mid/2005 I didn't see much drama like there is now so in a case the fandom is changing. It's even changing on instant messengers as well. How do we go about this? Do we delete those off our IM's that don't want to strike up a conversation or people who just don't care. People these days have IM's on phones so not knowing if they are online on the phone or online behind a computer. Also I'm usually the one to start the conversation then no reply from the other end. Also when asking someone how they are nobody asks how I am. Is that person not interested in me or do they not have the question in mind or do they have nothing that would be good for both of us to discuss? All in all it's all about what people's needs are and if they are met. Are they interested in the needs of others or do they think just of themselves?
Also I've felt that some furs like to stalk others and getting the feeling of this on FA and Facebook and not so much in other spots. The question is do people watch me for my fursuit and not the real me or are they going for numbers to compete with friends of theirs? Some furs are just strange! They add you and never say anything. They just watch you like a hound dog!
--Ace Rover
* * *
Dear Ace,
I think one of the things you are talking about is the lurker phenomenon. This is quite common, and not only in the furry community, and you shouldn’t take personal offense to it. For instance, I founded the BearFurries group on Yahoo and it has like 200 members but only a handful actually contribute to it; the rest are all lurkers. That’s okay, though. They can read comments and look at the art posts and stuff and enjoy it. Similarly, Papabear has lots of friends on Facebook, and it is impossible for me to stay in touch individually with all of them, so I do mass emails and such. I don’t believe I am unique in having two types of friends on FB: close friends/bruin brothers, and then people who are acquaintances. The important thing, Ace, is that you have some close friends and family you keep close tabs. The rest are nice to have, and some might develop into more than passing friends and become real friends, but don’t worry about it.
As for the problems of some furs feeling out of the loop, left out, disparaged by popufurs and people who think they can define who and who is not a furry, your letter could not come at a better time. The furry community has changed a lot. It has grown and diversified with the result being that it lacks cohesion, unity. That is why I founded The American Furry Association, which will be a place that all furries can elect to call “home.” Everyone—and I mean EVERYONE—who is interested in furry in any way is welcome.
The AFA will be ideal for people like you, Ace. It will be a resource center for everything from business to social news. It will be nonprofit and will accept donations to specific funs. There’s so much to say about it I can’t put it all in one letter, but check out the link at the right on the home page for more information.
Big Bear Hugs,
Papabear
How can we improve our fandom in the present days? I've seen lots of furs being rude to other furs and even forgetting people they know adding and then deleting and showing their true selves in posts and conversations. It all seems most furs have been forgotten like myself. Maybe people are forgetting others because of the posts in the past like when I was badly depressed or maybe other things came up. Some furs seen to have gone astray and pushing others away. At certain times I'm really needing furs in my life so we can all strive to help each other when needed.
I've said my words many times and journals and get brushed off as people don't care anymore like they did back then. The only time they care is when you post something about a family member or pet passing ... nothing else. I need some advice out there about how to deal with issues like this.
I'm not sure if it is all the younger people getting into furs or if it's those that think they are popular and can push others around and even people saying "I don't like you because you like such and such!" I've made many journals about this on FA and on Facebook and few replies. The only ones that would reply are those close to me, others can just push me away and sweep me under a rug and not care.
When I started the fandom back in mid/2005 I didn't see much drama like there is now so in a case the fandom is changing. It's even changing on instant messengers as well. How do we go about this? Do we delete those off our IM's that don't want to strike up a conversation or people who just don't care. People these days have IM's on phones so not knowing if they are online on the phone or online behind a computer. Also I'm usually the one to start the conversation then no reply from the other end. Also when asking someone how they are nobody asks how I am. Is that person not interested in me or do they not have the question in mind or do they have nothing that would be good for both of us to discuss? All in all it's all about what people's needs are and if they are met. Are they interested in the needs of others or do they think just of themselves?
Also I've felt that some furs like to stalk others and getting the feeling of this on FA and Facebook and not so much in other spots. The question is do people watch me for my fursuit and not the real me or are they going for numbers to compete with friends of theirs? Some furs are just strange! They add you and never say anything. They just watch you like a hound dog!
--Ace Rover
* * *
Dear Ace,
I think one of the things you are talking about is the lurker phenomenon. This is quite common, and not only in the furry community, and you shouldn’t take personal offense to it. For instance, I founded the BearFurries group on Yahoo and it has like 200 members but only a handful actually contribute to it; the rest are all lurkers. That’s okay, though. They can read comments and look at the art posts and stuff and enjoy it. Similarly, Papabear has lots of friends on Facebook, and it is impossible for me to stay in touch individually with all of them, so I do mass emails and such. I don’t believe I am unique in having two types of friends on FB: close friends/bruin brothers, and then people who are acquaintances. The important thing, Ace, is that you have some close friends and family you keep close tabs. The rest are nice to have, and some might develop into more than passing friends and become real friends, but don’t worry about it.
As for the problems of some furs feeling out of the loop, left out, disparaged by popufurs and people who think they can define who and who is not a furry, your letter could not come at a better time. The furry community has changed a lot. It has grown and diversified with the result being that it lacks cohesion, unity. That is why I founded The American Furry Association, which will be a place that all furries can elect to call “home.” Everyone—and I mean EVERYONE—who is interested in furry in any way is welcome.
The AFA will be ideal for people like you, Ace. It will be a resource center for everything from business to social news. It will be nonprofit and will accept donations to specific funs. There’s so much to say about it I can’t put it all in one letter, but check out the link at the right on the home page for more information.
Big Bear Hugs,
Papabear
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