I'm not coming to you as a furry, but as a human being. I'm worried about my mother. She is 50 and her health is getting increasingly worse. She has trouble breathing, her speech is slurred most of the time, she is morbidly obese and can hardly walk because of her weight and the fact that her left leg is twice the size of her right. She refuses to admit anything is wrong and my father refuses to take her to get help because it "costs money." She also gets angry when anyone talks about it. I'm scared. We lost my grandmother in 2013 (we Still don't know what she died from), my uncle passed in August 2014 of a combination of a heart attack and allergic reaction (he got stung by a bee, nobody knew he was allergic, not even him, which also caused me to lose my job because I got accused of lying about it).
I'm scared that my mom won't make it through this year. I don't want to bury another member of my family for the 3rd year in a row. I don't think my mental health could take it. My question is.... What do I do? How can I possibly make this better? I am doing everything I can think of to make this right, but it's never enough. If something happens to her, I don't know what to do. Please help, papa.
Marvin "Ingavar" (age 23, Oklahoma)
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There are several letters ahead of you, but because this is a serious, even life-threatening issue, I'm writing you a quick reply.
Your father's excuse that medical help costs too much is no longer valid since the passing of Obamacare. For your state, go to http://www.okhca.org/individuals.aspx?id=52&menu=40&parts=11601_7453 and check out the financial qualifications for getting assistance. All U.S. citizens are REQUIRED to carry health insurance, so if your mother doesn't have any she needs to get some now, either as an individual policy or with state assistance. She will only pay what she can afford to pay.
The slurred speech troubles me, as it might indicate your mother has had a stroke. If I were you and your father refuses to budge, I would, as soon as you know what the insurance situation is, call an ambulance and tell the medical team that you believe your mother has had a stroke. (Even if she hasn't had one, you have due cause to alert them.) Heck! Forget the insurance. Get her help immediately and figure out the costs when you can.
I'm sorry that you seem to care more about Mom than your dad does, which puts you in the situation of taking the lead on this. Your mother's health is more important than whatever your dad's problem might be.
And, of course, she needs to lose a lot of weight. If your mother's situation is serious enough, you could probably get insurance help with bariatric surgery or lapband surgery.
I hope this helps. Write again if you have more questions.
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