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Does This Asexual Furry Not Belong in the Fandom?

4/21/2014

5 Comments

 
Hello, Papabear!

As I'm not the most eloquent tiger in the world, I'll try to keep this letter short and sweet (but no promises).

I identify as asexual and have for quite a while now. As such, anything relating to sex just doesn't interest me, and sometimes to the point where it makes me feel very uncomfortable. Which can be a problem, considering that the fandom can be very adult in nature. (switched back and forth from being in the fandom, but recently tried to be included a little more) It feels like no matter where I look, everything seems to have some kind of great big sexual aspect to it!

Something I've only pondered very recently is if being asexual is thought of as 'weird' or out of place in the community. Every fur I know seems to be very open about their sexualities and I'm worried if I just seem like one big party-pooper.

I'll get to the point behind this: Am I just not fit for such a group? I've held the fandom close to my heart for years, and I don't want something like this keeping me away from the fun of it all.

Kindest regards,
Berry (18)

* * *

Dear Berry,

Papabear’s written on the topic of asexuality a couple of times, but not directly with regard to the fandom, so here it goes.... 

In my experience, furries are accepting of all types of sexual preferences and orientations. It’s my belief that a big reason there are so many gay furs in the community is because they are comfortable being part of a fandom that doesn’t look down on them for being gay. The same is true if you are asexual, even though asexuality is less common than homosexuality. Not only are there asexual furry groups you could hang out with (http://furry4life.org/group/asexualfurs and https://www.facebook.com/groups/546732712030969/ are two) but there are other groups, such as Christian furries, who are really not into the sexual side of furry. Most furries I know, if you told them you didn’t care about sex and just wanted to do other furry stuff, would be totally fine with that. 

Of course, Papabear hangs out with a lot of older furries, and since you are 18 you probably have been seeing the younger crowd, which tends to be a bit more active sexually. But just because others are more sexual than you does not mean you have to allow yourself to be pressured into anything. The furry community is very diverse, and you just need to find your niche within it.

So, YES, you belong to the furry community. It is because people like you are in it that we become more diverse, and with diversity there is strength and acceptance.

Hugs,

Papabear
5 Comments
Shouta, The Haibane
4/21/2014 08:49:40 am

I will welcome you with open arms and call you my furry brother..

Reply
Unbroken
4/21/2014 10:27:06 am

I'm asexual and furry as well. Welcome, friend!

Reply
Star Weaver
5/27/2014 01:27:22 am

Wandering by late, I know.

First thing, people IN GENERAL don't tend to understand asexuality, just how a lot of people seem to not understand or believe in bisexuality.* Ignorance and stupidity about sexuality cuts through all of society. Furs seem to be better on average, but i've noticed that larger groups of any type TEND to have more exclusionary negativity...

Second, I have daily contact online with at least three asexual furs, two of which are extremely snuggly, one who has a mate who's happy with who he is, and another who's ended up creating some kind of pack/poly relationship that works for them.

Thirdly, a great resource for this and other less-common sexualities is the AVEN wiki here:
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page

(Personally i'm mostly demisexual, which even fewer people have heard about)

* http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoBisexuals and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure for reference.

Reply
Papabear
5/27/2014 02:25:56 am

Thanks for your valuable input, Star :-3

Reply
Idontknowwgattonameee
1/22/2019 02:41:53 pm

I've been wondering about this too. I'm not interested in anything sexual, I do like the romantic parts like cuddling and holding hands but not much more. I first thought that you had to like sex to be a furry, but I'm glad I cleared up that misconception.

Reply



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