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  • Ask Papabear

Does Furry Culture Encourage Unsafe Sex?

1/5/2017

7 Comments

 
Hi, Papabear.

There's something that I have been wondering about. Last week I went to the doctor to do my first HIV test and everything went OK, but I have noticed that safe sex is not something you see in the furry.

I'm sure that unconsciously leads to people to risk themselves with bareback sex. In my country it's common to begin with sex at 14 or 15, but if you are gay you can't tell anyone because they start with "You are going to burn in hell f*g", "What did I do to deserve this?" thing.

And well... The only information you can get is through Internet or friends, but in the time I have been in the fandom, just a Fox friend and ex-mate talked about condom. When I told my friends I was going to do an ELISA [a test for antibodies in the blood that could indicate an infection] they looked at me like I was the devil or something.

Why safe sex and sexual diseases are so excluded in a community like ours?
 
Toichi (age 16, Bogotá, Colombia)
 
* * *
 
Dear Toichi,
 
Thank you for bringing up a perennially important subject: safe sex.
 
I think you make some shrewd observations here, Toichi. Papabear has seen some risky behavior in the fandom, indeed. There appears to be some misinformation and false conceptions within the fandom. A big one is the belief many people have that if you’re not feeling sick or don’t show any symptoms, then you are safe. Here are some facts about that:

  1. HIV: you can be HIV positive for as long as 10 years without expressing any symptoms. During that time, you can pass the virus along to sex partners if you don’t use protection. (By the way, in the United States at least, knowingly having unsafe sex with someone when you are HIV positive is a crime).
  2. Herpes: about 1 in every 6 Americans ages 14 to 50 has herpes in some form. While it is most contagious during a breakout, you can also pass it to others when you are not showing symptoms.
  3. Gonorrhea: most common among young women, it can often be mistaken for a yeast or urinary infection. If left untreated, it can cause infections in other areas of the body, such as the heart, joints, brain, and blood. It can also adversely affect pregnancies.
  4. Chlamydia: also most common among young women, it is, like gonorrhea, often misdiagnosed as a bacterial or yeast infection. Undiagnosed and untreated, it can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, causing permanent damage to the fallopian tubes and infertility.
  5. Human papilloma virus (HPV): this one is rather tricky, too. It is a very common virus and, interestingly, wearing a condom does not always afford protection against it. HPV sometimes, but not always, expresses itself as genital warts. In some cases, it can lead to cervical cancer, which is why HPV vaccinations are recommended for young women. The good news is that even if you have it, the body can eventually defend against it and cause the virus to be eradicated. Many people with HPV never know it and have no symptoms.
 
One factor about the attitude of furries and STDs, then, is that they are ignorant of the facts and the dangers. Another factor is trust: furry communities and friends within it can be tight, and people often extend trust to their friends that are not wise or deserved (“Trust me, I don’t have any STDs. I’m fine. Let’s play without condoms!”) But it’s not just friends, it’s a culture. Once, my mate, Yogi, and I were out with some furries at a restaurant. A female furry leaned over to my partner and, placing a paw on his knee, said (not kidding), “One of the great things about being a furry is you can have sex with anyone.” Yogi looked at her and said, “I’m gay. Don’t you see me here with my boyfriend?” As you can see, stupidity plays into this, too.
 
This attitude can be encouraged by the atmosphere of the furcon. Furry conventions are often places where young and old furries go to their hotel rooms and have sex. A lot of this has to do with young furs who are managing to get out of from under their parents’ shadows and go a bit wild. To be fair, this is not unique to furry conventions. From what I’ve learned from other business convention attendees, a lot of sex and cheating goes on here. One time, Yogi was at a journalist convention. He opened up a closet door, looking for a conference room, and saw two people making out in it.
 
Yet another factor has to do with advances in HIV medicine. The advent of PreP (a medicine you can take to protect against HIV infection, although it doesn’t protect against any other STDs), as well as better treatment for AIDS patients has caused people to believe that HIV is no longer as dangerous and that, consequently, safe sex is not necessary.
 
The website [adjective][species] has a thoughtful article on the topic, too: http://www.adjectivespecies.com/2012/10/08/furries-hiv/. Here, the writer suggests some other factors, including that HIV is “scary,” so people do not like to talk about it, which makes them more ignorant of the facts and dangers. The article also suggests that the “incestuous” furry community has a higher rate of STDs within it, making infection more likely.
 
And there you have it.
 
Ignore your friends’ scorn, Toichi, and be the smart furry you are. Always play it safe.
 
Hugs,
Papabear
7 Comments
Critter link
1/6/2017 02:53:18 pm

Good information, being part of a fandom is no protection against disease.

Another bad STD is syphilis which unfortunately has been making a big comeback in the US. This disease if left untreated is fatal, and in the later stages is not curable.

Be a responsible sex partner: get tested! Have fun and be safe.

Reply
Papabear
1/6/2017 08:52:48 pm

Yes, of course syphilis is, but syphilis shows itself pretty quickly, and the list was about STDs that can be tricky and appear hidden. :-)

Reply
Critter link
1/6/2017 10:14:36 pm

Not always, and who wants to be the one who goes blind or give it to their partner because they missed the symptoms?

Planned Parenthood:
"Syphilis is sneaky, because you or your partner may not have any symptoms that you see or feel. Most of the time, people don't even realize they have syphilis — that's part of the reason it's a common infection (and why it's so important to get tested)."

CDC:
"You could also get syphilis and have very mild symptoms or none at all."

HIV commonly also has symptoms in the primary infection, but it is similar to the flu so most people don't associate the symptoms with the infection.

Moral of the story? If you're sexually active, GET TESTED! And use condoms. Be safe, boys and girls.

Worthless
1/7/2017 01:27:19 am

"Be a responsible sex partner: get tested! Have fun and be safe."

I find it absolutely infuriating how a lot of people tend to view sex as something natural and easy to experience. Thanks for the warning, Critter, but I feel as though it will not be necessary in my case. I can't choose love and sex because the forever alone side chose my first.

Don't get me wrong, I'm alone and chose to be childless by choice - other people's choice.

Reply
Critter link
1/7/2017 10:28:51 am

I'm truly sorry you haven't found someone, I know from personal experience how hard that is.

If I may quote a certain Papabear, "First thing you need to do is recognize and believe you are a worthwhile person who deserves love."

You are not worthless. Being angry will, however, make it harder for others to see that.

For some more good ideas, click on the link "Love And Relationships" in the right hand column.

I can't recommend "FurryMate", however (it popped up in an ad on this site). It is widely seen as a scam to make money off of lonely furs. Instead, try pounced.org. However, the best thing is likely to be to look outside of the furry community simply because you will have so many more opportunities to find the right one. As I think Papabear can also attest to, you can find love with someone outside the fandom. If they care for you, they will accept your interest in the community.

Wishing you the best,

- Critter

Worthless
1/9/2017 01:53:24 am

Belief does not and cannot change reality. It's all in the personality you say? I'll have you know... I know a person who lives close to me who just happens to be, undoubtedly, the angriest, most abusive, clearly mentally unstable person I know. Treats everyone else, including me, as garbage. Even went as far as to physically assault it's parents (aside from the daily verbal abuse they receive). I am none of the previously mentioned. Oh, I feel as if it should be noted that the person is a she, and an astounding beauty to go along with that. Literally 20/10 in the looks department. She has a TON of guys lining in front of her door, seeking to be her significant other. I have never had any girl confess to me before, nor show any significant interest in me DESPITE the fact that I do volunteer work, help the homeless, sick, old and children, raise money for charity, am very considerate of other people's feelings, almost never swear nor attack other people verbally or physically. She is the polar opposite of me. She is the incarnation of the Devil himself, yet, she still manages to get better results in life EFFORTLESSLY. Solely due to her looks.

"Just shower and lift bro. Just b yourself. Just b confident. Girls dig confidence":

http://m.imgur.com/bg1nfsW

Helpful advice (from people who have endured little to no suffering):

http://m.imgur.com/TTC4SfI

I can feel the power of optimism flowing through my veins! Grrrrrrr!!!!




Critter link
1/9/2017 07:00:20 pm

I didn't say it is all in the personality, and I'm the last person on Earth to promote the power of positive thinking. Putting words in other people's mouths will not endear you to anyone.

Most grownups at some point realize that what they were told as children until they were sick of it is simply true: life is not fair.

For me, an old idea works the best. I concern myself with things I can control (myself) and try to not rail against things I can't control (like the undeniable fact that the world is unfair and some people have advantages I don't have).

There's a great deal of luck involved in finding the right person, and in the meantime I will enjoy life to the fullest on my own. I'd rather be happy and single than be resentful of other people's good fortune and single. You, of course, are free to do as you please.




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