Christian, Gay, and Furry

Hello, Papabear,

I don't think I have any other way to say this, but . . . I think I might be gay. 

You see, whenever I see an attractive man I get turned on, but when I see a girl, I don't. I'm not really a feminine person, like some gay men are, but I guess I've always been kinda "weird." I have Asperger's, after all. I've never really had any crushes on another male, I just have a sexual attraction to them. 

But here is the problem - my family, especially on my dad's side, are very Christian. If I admit to being gay to my mom's side of the family, I'm guessing they will either accept it or tell me it's just a phase. But I'm afraid that my dad's side will disown me. 

I am a Christian myself, but I don't want to trash my beliefs just because I might be gay. God loves all of his children, no matter what. 

Sincerely,

Steve

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Dear Steve,

If you are sexually attracted to men and not to women, then you are gay. There is no “think” about it, hon, so start by admitting it to yourself. It doesn’t matter whether or not you have been in an actual relationship with a man, you are drawn to them, so there you go.

You note that you are not a “feminine person,” which indicates to Papabear you fell into the same trap he did: when I was young, I thought the definition of a gay man was not just that he was attracted to men, but also that he should be a girlie boy and talk with a lisp, be into cutesy clothes, and love decorating. Nonsense. My head was spun around when I found the bear community: masculine men who are gay. That was it for me. One look and I knew I had found what I needed in life.

Still from the YouTube video "Being a Christian Furry"

As for your “very Christian” family, especially on your dad’s side, I find that expression funny, as if someone can be “sort of Christian” or “extremely Christian” etc. What you really mean, of course, is that your dad’s family are highly conservative Christians. 

Papabear has always maintained that such folk are not true Christians because true Christians are tolerant of others. They accept all types (Jesus hung out with prostitutes and the destitute and was always kind to them). The core of Christianity is that you accept Jesus in your heart as the Son of God and that you try to emulate his life, which means being kind to others (you recognize this, I see--good!) If your father and his side of the family were true Christians, you would not be afraid of them at all.

Too many times Papabear has come across judgmental, hateful “Christians” who cause more darkness and hell in the world than Satan does, quite frankly (because they are two-faced). You, on the other hand, sound more like a true Christian. Therefore, here are a couple really neat sites just for you!

• Christian Furries: http://www.furryfellowship.org/
• The Christian Furry Fellowship: http://www.virtualhermit.net/~ottercomics/monastery/fred.html
• Furs for Christ: http://fursforchrist.com/

Papabear suggests you visit these websites and talk to the experts there on how to come out furry to your Christian family.

Bear Hugs from a Pagan,

Papabear

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