Ask Papabear: The First Advice Column for Furries!
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Good Furry Award
    • Nomination Form
    • Lifetime Achievement Award
    • 2023 Nominees
    • 2022 Winners and Nominees
    • 2021 Wiinners
    • 2020 Winners
    • 2019 Winners
    • Good Furry Theme Song
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Gifts
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Resources
  • Ask Papabear

Can One Lead a "Normal Life" and Be Furry?

1/29/2014

4 Comments

 
Papa bear,

I'm a 19 year old college student and have recently accepted that I'm a straight furry. But, coming from a religious and slightly strict family, it is hard for me to want to fully commit to the entire "furryness" I want to. Even though I have plans to get some furry body art, what I am trying to understand is, and this may be a problem that some flurries have or not I don't know. But in my personality I have a problem with getting too attached to things. For maybe an extreme example, and embarrassing, is that I have even formed a fake life that I keep updated on my personal device for my own enjoyment and I keep it very detailed. But what I want to know is how does someone as a furry run or live a normal life without letting the urges or wants of the furry life getting in the way of a successful life. Not that I wouldn't want to be commuted but the major I'm in and also the area I live in is very constricting on this sort of thing. I'm new and I just want some advice. This is my first letter so does seem like I rambled on. Thanks.

Wolf Furry

* * *

Dear Wolf,

It’s starting to be a mission of mine to explain to furries—especially those new to the fandom—that being a furry doesn’t mean you are living a life of shame like some crack addict committing armed robbery for drug money. Lots of furries lead very successful, productive lives, and being a furry doesn’t interfere with that in the least. Look at me, for instance. I am a successful freelance editor and writer. Look at Uncle Kage, a pharmacist with a doctorate. Look at my friend Tycho Brahe (aka Tycho Aussie), who is an aerospace engineer and happily married father of three.

Whatever your college major is, whatever your career goal is, being furry will not be a deterrent to your success. Furry can be a simple exercise in imagination, and some people get into it more than others. Your interest in creating an alter ego with lots of detail in his life is a creative way of expressing yourself and nothing to be ashamed of. Why are you ashamed of it? It’s no more silly than novelists creating completely fictional worlds, such as Tolkien creating Middle Earth (talk about detailed! Complete with functioning languages and highly detailed history and mythology!) So, don’t look at it as a “fake” life, look at it as an exercise in imagination. It is imagination, after all, that leads to creation and innovation.

Too often we feel pressured by society to conform, to be “normal” so we can be “accepted” and “successful.” Pardon all the quotation marks. A lot of what you’re feeling is probably caused by your conservative upbringing. Conservative, by definition, means lack of innovation, lack of thinking outside the box, lack of imagination, lack of trying anything new.

But now you have discovered your furryness and your creativity. Please do not suppress it, and please don’t think that it will prevent you from achieving great things in your life. Quite the contrary: it can inspire you to achieve new levels that dullard conservatives fear to rise to.

Good luck! Welcome to the fandom!

Papabear
4 Comments
BruinDad
1/29/2014 01:20:16 am

One point I'd make. Are we allowed to have any passions in our lives? If you feel passionate about having a Furry Identity then why deny yourself of a harmless fictional hobby that brings you great enjoyment in your own nonprofessional downtime. It can be a tool of great creation to you like an inspiration to other arts.

Reply
Critter link
1/29/2014 01:26:57 am

Just an example: I'm a greymuzzle who's been part of the furry fandom for fifteen years and during that time I've had a successful professional career. I don't feel they're incompatible at all.

Have fun!

Reply
Tycho Aussie link
3/26/2014 11:28:01 am

As one of the people mentioned in the above advice, the first thing I must say is be true to your core values. If you really want to fully enjoy this hobby, figure out a way to make it work for who you are. There are large aspects of the furry fandom that can be enjoyed as a Christian, but there are some popular parts of it which you should really think seriously about avoiding - and make it an unbreakable rule. Personally, I won't visit a Hookah party and sit around & smoke. Nope, never started, never will. Nor will I be a gamer. It's just not me. I also have a commitment to my family and my wife so there is no porn....ever! However these are things that are generally found everywhere nowdays, and not just within the furry fandom. If I went out with my car friends after a weekend of racing, I would exercise the very same rules.

One thing to understand too, is that being part of the fandom, where people are almost unconditionally accepting, friendly, and generally happy is a very powerful and bonding experience. It can be sometimes strong enough to tempt you into wanting their company more than the anxious & (probably) misunderstanding people who might be dogging you to give it up. So you need to intentionally stay engaged with your own family. Be honorable, be kind, patient, and gentle to them, and be an example. If there's any anxiety or worry on their part, reassure them. Over time they will see your honor and kindness, and understand that fundamentally, you are still the very same person that they have grown to love. After that, you might even be able to share your interest and passion with them when they start seeing the joy it can bring.

So first set your rules: Your code of ethics. Cherish them and keep them safe. They are what will enable you to coexist with your community and still enjoy (without guilt) your time within the furry fandom. Next, understand that other people's codes of ethics might be different than yours. You don't necessarily have to adopt them, but you have to respect them. In return, they will respect yours. When that happens, well then, you will find common ground in which both of you can share a friendship.

I'm not one with secrets. There's a big poster of Tycho Aussie hanging above my desk at work. I've taken Tycho to the staff coffee hour a few times. I've walked the campus. I've been on TV, and done a skit in my church. I've led parades, gotten to fursuit at a huge scientific convention, and street perform in San Francisco with my professional colleagues. Furry is what you make of it, and outside of the internet, most people will see it for what it really is: A quirky past-time that adds a bit of whimsical color to your personality.

Tycho Aussie.
- - -
Hey Papa Bear - Thanks for providing the advice column, by the way.

Reply
Papabear
3/26/2014 01:59:24 pm

Hi, Tycho! Thanks for the comment! Just wonderful! You can see why I hold you up as a fine example to furries everywhere.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Go to Papabear's Facebook page

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Art And Literature
    Careers
    Coming Out Furry
    Crime And The Law
    Editorial
    Family Issues
    Friends Issues
    Furry Definition
    Furry Issues (other)
    Fursonas
    Fursuiting
    Health
    Illness And Death Issues
    LGBT And Gender Issues
    Loneliness Depression Anger
    Love And Relationships
    Money
    Odd And Ends
    Politics
    Religion And Spirituality
    Roommates
    School Life
    Self Improvement
    Sexuality And Sex
    Social Networking
    Work And The Workplace

    Picture
    Picture
    An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
    Picture
    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

    Picture
    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

Home

Letters

Write Me

Disclaimer

About

Copyright © 2012-2023