Ask Papabear: The First Advice Column for Furries!
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Good Furry Award
  • Home
  • Letters
  • Write Me
  • Disclaimer
  • Advertise
  • About
  • Testimonials
  • Fan Art
  • Good Furry Award

Calm Your Dating Fears by Moving Slowly

6/24/2016

2 Comments

 
Dear Papabear,

It's me again, and I feel bad for taking your time with this odd question, but there's this guy I like. He is kind and sweet and we listen and help each other with our problems, I told him about me being gay and he was like "no surprise there, I knew it for a while now", I asked him how he knew and he just said he had a feeling. I thanked him for having the decency to wait until I told him instead of pestering me like my other friends did. Anyway, I really like him, and he is bi, so I was wondering how do I ask him out. Every time I try I get all tongue tied and nervous because he is my first guy crush that I can actually talk to. So sorry about the two questions but how do I ask him out and how do I get over my nerves when even thinking about it gives me butterflies in my stomach?

Yours truly,
Austin

* * *


Hi, Austin,

I suspect you get butterflies because you're thinking too far ahead: that is, thinking to yourself, "What if we end up in bed?" Instead of thinking about that, I would suggest you take it slowly. Just ask him to join you to see a movie or do some other fun activity together, maybe lunch or dinner added to the mix, but don't go so far as to ask him to your bedroom (the old comical line of "Want to see my etchings?" or, perhaps more understandable to your generation, "Wanna come inside and play some video games?") In fact, don't go into either one of your homes.

Once you remove the nerve-wracking thought of sexual romance, you should be able to calm down enough to ask him out because it is a non-threatening "dinner and a movie" proposition. Do this a few times until you feel more comfortable, and then you can consider going to second base.

Good luck!
Papabear
2 Comments
Vice
6/24/2016 11:47:45 am

Is it just me or the letters in your response are green?

Reply
pbear
6/25/2016 02:55:10 pm

it was for some reason; fixed it

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Go to Papabear's Facebook page

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Art And Literature
    Careers
    Coming Out Furry
    Crime And The Law
    Editorial
    Family Issues
    Friends Issues
    Furcons And Furmeets
    Furry Definition
    Furry Issues (other)
    Fursonas
    Fursuiting
    Health
    Illness And Death Issues
    LGBT And Gender Issues
    Loneliness Depression Anger
    Love And Relationships
    Money
    Odd And Ends
    Politics
    Religion And Spirituality
    Roommates
    School Life
    Self Improvement
    Sexuality And Sex
    Social Networking
    Work And The Workplace

    Picture
    Picture
    An excellent article on coming out LGBT to Christian parents.
    Picture
    My Rainbow Ark is a site for and about LGBT furries and religion and how they are not incompatible.

    Picture
    A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.

Home

Letters

Write Me

Disclaimer

About

Copyright © 2012-2024