Boyfriend Is Ignoring Attempts to Contact Him

Papabear,

My life is going through a literal, living Hell... I'm on a relationship with someone who I love very so much with all my heart and soul, and I am starting to be worried about him. He hasn't answered my texts, messages, or IM's in 3 days....Can you please help out?

with concern,

Dakota the Snow Leopard

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Dear Dakota,

You leave Papabear with very little information, but here are the possibilities and suggested responses to your problem:

1) If you are concerned about your boyfriend’s well-being, then try to contact his friends and family to see if he is okay. If you can call him by phone (you only mention texting and IMs) then do so and leave a message. If you can actually travel to his home, then do so and see if he is okay. If you cannot contact him in the ways mentioned above for some reason, contact the police station in his area and tell them you are concerned that something may have happened to him and you have not heard from him in three days. Ask them if they can just swing by his home and see if he is okay.

2) The other possibility is that he is deliberately avoiding you for some reason. Are you familiar with the phrase “he’s just not that into you”?  It could be that you are more enamored by him than he is of you. You have the right to know this, of course, and in this case he is being a coward by hiding from you. If he is all right and nothing unfortunate has happened (as in case 1 above), then he has the ability to contact you, yet he hasn’t done so. Papabear’s advice to you in this case is you stop trying to contact him. Then, if eventually he contacts you again, ask him where he has been. If he does not give a reasonable response, such as “I had to travel suddenly out of the country to my uncle’s funeral in France and my cell phone doesn’t work in Europe and I couldn’t get to a computer,” then it is time to read him the Riot Act. If he has so much contempt for your feelings, he is not the boyfriend for you. Dump him and move on.

Hugs,

Papabear