Before You Get Too Serious with Love, Take It Slowly

Hello, Sir!

I just graduated high school four months ago, and all I can say is that I'm glad to be rid of that place (it wasn't horrible, but if I were asked to either repeat the entire experience or wear high heels for a week, I'd personally choose the high heels).

But besides that, I've started an online college about a month ago; a new class begins every month/four weeks, and this class is where my question/problem stems from.

This class had an assignment where we had to team up with another classmate or group of classmates and play something online. And while the person I teamed up with had a different instructor, we had the same class subject (I hope I explained that well enough). We got each other's discord and steam, set a date to do the assignment, and the rest is history.

He and I played a game for about 10-ish hours, and it would've been lasted longer if I didn't have something to do the next day/later that morning. At the end of that session, he asked if we could play again, and (shocked, might I add) I said "sure!" After that, I almost immediately thought, "Wow ... I like his voice." And HERE is when I started to process this question I'm about to ask you, but we'll get to that.

We did end up playing again just this past Saturday into Sunday. About 11 hours this time. It was definitely a lot more chill since we didn't have to be formal for the class anymore, and I certainly enjoyed it. Once again, at the end of the session, he said, "If you wanna play again sometime, let me know," and I said, "absolutely!"

Now just about 2 hours ago (I'm typing this up at about 5 am) HE asked if we could play again Wednesday (I said yes).

So, if I may assume, we both like each other's company (obviously, but I need to get all points across) to some extent, we do know each other (both first and last name because the school doesn't allow aliases or usernames), and we've talked a fair amount about ourselves for me to gather a fair amount of other info (can't say it here, gotta keep it vague on the off chance someone actually finds this, but I CAN say that we're the same age).

Now I'm old enough to know that Disney romances don't happen just like *snap* that, and if they do, that couple is REALLY lucky. Not only that, but this is also JUST me. While I do know that he does seek the opposite gender (ooh, ooh! That's ME!), I don't know if he's looking to be IN a relationship, and with ME no less. As well as there also being the factor that we live across the country from each other (personally, distance isn't an issue, but I'm also getting my hopes up here lol; I'm also but of a hopeless romantic, so that doesn't help too much either).

So, while I don't mean to be all over the place with my set up/story, I need someone's opinion on this. And with this comes my question: Would it be wrong to think like this? To like someone based off of their voice, personality, and a slightly vague description of their appearance? Or should I process this a bit more, and maybe bring it up in the fairly far-off future to him?

Thank you,

Sincerely,

Daisy (age 18)

* * *

Dear Daisy,

It is certainly not wrong to be smitten by a guy after talking to him some, playing a game, chatting as you get to know each other a bit.  It IS unwise to go from that to "I want to have a serious relationship with you right now!" Or, worse, "Let's sleep together!" (and, since you're far apart, that does include having virtual sex, FYI). 

Ah, youth! So impatient! So quick to fall in love ... and just as quick to allow your hearts to be broken.

The wiser course is this: take it slowly! Yes, definitely explore this relationship further because that's the only way you'll ever find love, but please, take baby steps. This relationship is just beginning, so just focus on spending more time together, talking more, getting to know each other. Too often I see people leaping into bed with one another, "committing" to each other, and then, a few months later, when something happens and you realize you actually are not as compatible as you thought, the entire thing comes crashing down, and you are devastated. If you break up with a casual friend it is not nearly as painful as breaking up with your "first true love." You see?

Be friends first. Do not even utter the words "boyfriend" or "commit" or "serious relationship" yet. Take your time to form a stronger bond. And, if it works out, and you really do fall in love, you will have fallen in love with a good or even best friend, and that is the best kind of love of all.

Explore a relationship before you plant your flag in it ... or put a ring on it.

Make sense?

Good luck!

Papabear