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Be Friends, Then Lovers

6/8/2013

2 Comments

 
I am looking for a mate but no one is interested. I have a few friends that insist I am beautiful and that any guy would be lucky to have me, but I feel like I can't trust that. I have had too many experiences where people have said this to me but they end up hurting me. Whom should I trust and what can I do? 

Aurelia

* * *

Dear Aurelia,

The best kind of love is the love that is discovered, not the love that is pursued. That’s advice #1. Advice #2 is that the best loves are the ones that start off as friendships and evolve into love (or, cf. #1, become discovered love). When you have a solid friendship with someone you trust, then when it gets to the point of love and, eventually, sex, you are already in a relationship in which you know that person is going to stick around with you even after he has a climax because he likes being with you.

The difference between a hookup and making love is that in a hookup only one part of your body is satisfied.

Don’t just jump into bed. Many people have made that mistake. That whole “love at first sight” thing is mostly just hormones. You want something lasting? Be a lover to your best friend.

Wishing You Love,

Papabear

2 Comments
Eyon link
6/9/2013 07:25:39 am

Don't ever just jump into bed. That will leave you screwed over once they get what they wanted.

Reply
'Rugi
6/9/2013 08:17:00 am

Some of the best advice I've heard in awhile. Al of my mates since high school, have been friends first. Its always just worked out better that way. And the whole fear of, "Oh but what if it makes things weird? What if we break up? I don't want to lose such a good friend!" I've found to be 100% false. I'm still good friends with ALL of my exes. Even that first gf in high school 13 years ago, to my last bf before my current mate, I'm still good friends with them. Friends first, usually works. Good advice.

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