Be Friends, Then Lovers

I am looking for a mate but no one is interested. I have a few friends that insist I am beautiful and that any guy would be lucky to have me, but I feel like I can't trust that. I have had too many experiences where people have said this to me but they end up hurting me. Whom should I trust and what can I do? 

Aurelia

* * *

Dear Aurelia,

The best kind of love is the love that is discovered, not the love that is pursued. That’s advice #1. Advice #2 is that the best loves are the ones that start off as friendships and evolve into love (or, cf. #1, become discovered love). When you have a solid friendship with someone you trust, then when it gets to the point of love and, eventually, sex, you are already in a relationship in which you know that person is going to stick around with you even after he has a climax because he likes being with you.

The difference between a hookup and making love is that in a hookup only one part of your body is satisfied.

Don’t just jump into bed. Many people have made that mistake. That whole “love at first sight” thing is mostly just hormones. You want something lasting? Be a lover to your best friend.

Wishing You Love,

Papabear