At 17 It's Time to Start Planning to Take Control of Your Life

Papabear,

I need help in a furry and I'm 17 and my mom absolutely hates furries she wont let me be one and if I even mention it she will take away all my privileges but I'm getting sad cuz I need to express myself she even checks my phone Facebook and email but she can't see this one the point is what should I do? I can’t express myself and I’m getting sadder and sadder each day.

Travis Tiger

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Dear Travis,

Papabear has addressed the “coming out furry” issue many times (see under Categories on the Letters page). And, typically, the worst scenario is an underage furry whose parents are conservative and/or very religious telling their son or daughter that he or she cannot participate in the furry community.

I don’t wish to sound like a broken record, but once every now and then it is justified to take another look at this. I will try to do so, each time, while putting a new spin on things.

People like your mother tell their children not to do things because they are afraid their kids will become corrupted and their lives will spin out of control. Such fears are largely born out of ignorance. Such efforts are also futile and counterproductive, because they always end up with the child resenting the parent and then, eventually, doing what he/she wants anyway. 

The logical thing to do would be to try and educate your mother that furries aren’t so bad, but this can be very difficult to do when the “student” has a closed mind and doesn’t respect your right to be an individual.

What this means is that you need to be motivated to become an independent person who no longer has to live under the rules set up by Mommy. You are 17, soon to be 18 and of legal age. What are your plans for school? Job? It is time to stand up on your own two feet and become an adult. Once that happens, you can do what you like and not listen to Mom. In the meantime, you need to learn patience while you work for that day when you are free to be you.

If you want to be who you truly are, then the best way to do that is to no longer be dependent on other people. Become your own person; become self-sufficient; take charge of your life so others can’t take your right to the life you want.

Good luck!

Papabear