I met this guy on Twitter. We talk occasionally, have been for over a year. He contacted me for the first time shortly after I got my fursuit. He seems nice enough. But most of the time when we talk he wants to me to get out my suit and shake my fuzzy ass for the camera. Don't get me wrong, I love me suit, love taking it to cons and having fun but I don't get much enjoyment out of what he wants. It doesn't make me uncomfortable it's just a lot of work to get suited up and roll around on the bed for 30 minutes or so for his amusement/arousal or whatever.
I feel like I'm being used here, he is a nice guy but I don't know how break it to him that I find these sessions a nuisance more than anything else. A hassle so he can ogle me like a piece of meat.
I want this to stop but I'm bad at telling people no. How should I handle this?
* * *
Good question :-3 As a fursuiter myself, I know what it takes to get in and out of one, and I totally get what you're saying. And it sounds like you're absolutely correct that this person just wants to get a bit of visual stimulation in a rather selfish way that has nothing to do with what you yourself want. Yeah, if I were you, I would feel a bit used, too.
Let me ask you this: do you have some videos saved of you performing in suit? If so, you could simply offer to share some of those with him and see if that floats his boat. If he insists on a personal show, then the best way to handle it is to just tell him what you told me to the effect of this: "I'm flattered that you like my fursuit and I'm very proud of it, but getting in and out of it is really kind of a grueling process that takes a lot out of me. You might not understand that if you don't have a fursuit yourself, and this is exactly why not all furries have one (not to mention the expense). I would be happy to send you some photos of me fursuiting or a video, but I really don't care to do all that work for a one-person audience. I hope you'll understand."
See what he says to that. If he gets all huffy and insulted or, worse, suddenly cuts you off or even blocks you, then you know that his was not a real friendship, sadly. If he says something like, "Oh! Sorry! I didn't realize that! Yes! I would love some photos of you in your fursuit, thank you very much!" Then all is well.
Hope that helps!
A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.