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An Editorial by Papabear

10/26/2012

6 Comments

 
As some of my readers know, Papabear is working, along with several furiends, to launch the American Furry Association. Recently, a story about the AFA was posted on Flayrah. There were many negative comments about the idea of the AFA posted after the article, including some personal attacks on me basically calling me incompetent. At first, I responded to the attacks, but that was a mistake because it just resulted in more hateful responses, so I withdrew them from the comments board.

This was not my first negative experience with the fandom. When I first started this column, it was noticed by the hosts of FurCast, who quickly began mocking me and my efforts. I called into the show and they apologized, but I had to wonder, still, why furries (and humans in general, let's face it) feel a need to hurt people, especially people who are trying to do some good in the world? 

I think people are questioning my motivation. I suspect that people are just thinking that I'm out to get attention and to be a popufur. Let me tell you all, then, why I do this.

When I was a cub, I was very much the outcast. People made fun of me all the time and I had few friends. It got so bad that, when I was a freshman in college, I felt so discouraged and alone that I bought four bottles of sleeping pills, swallowed them all, and went to bed, fully intending to die. Fortunately for me, I overdid the dose so much that my body rejected all the medication. I vomited heavily in my sleep so hard I woke up a roommate who quickly took me to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. I spent many years after that trying to come around and be positive again about life.

Then, when I turned 40, I came to the late realization that I was gay. I struggled with this for some time until I finally confessed to my then-wife, which led to my divorce. It has been nearly three years since my divorce, and I am still struggling with it. 

In both cases I felt very alone and in pain. My mother was very angry with me for a long time for my suicide attempt. Many people wouldn't talk to me. Later, when I discovered I was gay, I experienced the strange sensation of going from a majority in this country (white, straight, Christian) to a minority (gay, well still white LOL, but pagan). I have questioned everything about my life, including God.

I am now 47, and I am just now beginning to feel like my life is getting under control again, but it has been a very lonely road in many cases.

In the fandom, I have made some very good friends. I find furries, for the most part, to be good people who have extended their paws to me and given me a hug.

When a number of the younger furries began asking my advice, I thought that maybe my experiences and what I have learned could help them. I talked to them online, and, eventually, I started "Ask Papabear." My only motivation is to help furries who are in pain and share with them what I have learned from my own pain so that they don't feel alone as I did.

Let me please emphasize here that I make NO money on the column, I do not EVER charge for my advice. Indeed, because I spend money advertising, this is COSTING me money. The idea for selling some Papabear items was to recover some of my advertising costs, but no one is buying them, so it doesn't matter.

I also started seeking other ways I could help. I had a number of ideas, such as starting my own furcon and starting a furry arts school, but after exploring the idea I concluded they really wouldn't work for one reason or another (people are criticizing me for "not following through" with these plans, but why would I want to spend money on an idea that was not viable?) But then I had the idea for the AFA, which is a nonprofit to help other furries. I am still working on this idea, hoping to get it launched next year, but I am optimistic.

The AFA, too, is not something I make money on. I have paid over $200 in fees of my own money so far and anticipate paying upwards of another $900 of my own cash before it is up and running.

The reason for the AFA is the same as my column: I want to help. It hurts me deeply that so many furries out there seem threatened by a project that is so well meaning, but I guess that is just the way of the world.

I want you all to know that I am going to proceed, with help, on my goal of forming a national furry organization. There will always be detractors, there will always be people who will question me and think, for some bizarre reason I cannot comprehend, that I am out to do some sort of evil upon the furry world. That really does hurt my feelings. I guess some people just like hurting others. But it will not break my resolve to help the good furries out there who want it.

It is my hope that at least some of you will understand what I am trying to do.

Love you,
Papabear
6 Comments
Furisky
10/26/2012 10:07:55 am

*hugs* Thank you Sir for your work to make things better for me and my furry friends.

Reply
Nivis Tigridis
10/26/2012 10:28:06 am

Mr. Papa Bear,

You know the persons (human or furs) that will send you a barrage of negativity before even ask your motivation are the first one that would be or is afraid of what you want to accomplish.

It's a normal reaction, sadly, of the "new" generation that has not learn the old ways of respect and know before you talk...

I will just say, if it doesn't come from clause or trustworthy individuals let it GO. What you're trying to accomplish will help more in Quality that you could do without.

I never forget "Quality over Quantity".

Just have to look at your column to see what all good you do 1 question at the time.

If my memory is good, Pagan have a saying / "law": "Everything you do will return to you 3 times" [correct me if I'm wrong; it's been so long since I've "study / review" the Pagans ways],

For what you do, you have my blessing.

Nivis Tigridis

Reply
Taigitsune
10/26/2012 11:50:56 am

I've had less than favorable responses to most of my comments on Flayrah. They do a decent job covering what's going on in the fandom, but the commentary seems to be largely provided by malcontents.

Regarding the AFA, I have my concerns but I'll keep my eyes out to see where it goes and look for opportunities to contribute.

Reply
Diamond Man
10/27/2012 12:01:25 pm

"Recently, a story about the AFA was posted on Flayrah. There were many negative comments about the idea of the AFA posted after the article, including some personal attacks on me basically calling me incompetent."

Ha ha ha, wow, I guess I was right about that website. It's a mean, hateful, critic website in my view often. :/

I'm afraid to see that article because I may see all the hate with low ratings, the bad comments with there forcing opinion crap and other. I'm guessing the problem with that there main so called "open" view had sticky opinions stuck on the top of there head, and refuse to change, and bash anyone who has a new idea, don't know though. :P

I hope they read this article.. They need a cure, big time.

Note: I'm talking about some of the main people (Sort of popular on there) if they did that, and some random others.

I read the rest, very interesting, a bit sad on some though.. :/
There may "always" be mean people but it's possible to moderately change it to a better group with good information fighting though. I believe that website for example can go better or back if it was open before.

Good luck on one of your dreams. Wonder if it will cause a good heal also... :P

Reply
Alonely
10/27/2012 08:43:29 pm

Dear Papabear,

I am deeply saddened by what I heard in your article. You have done so much good for the fandom and the potential to do more with the AFA. Don't just give up on them Papabear. Please continue to fight for them. I would love to join the AFA once its ready or contribute in anyway now so it get off the ground. I enjoyed your column and the advice you give. I hope you keep your head up and know there are good furs out there that need your kind heart and help.

Much hugs and love,
Alonely

Reply
Eyon link
2/11/2013 12:56:51 pm

I just ran into the article on the other website, and that pissed me off :( You work so hard, and I'm here for you. Don't listen for them. I believe you and I am by your side. This place needs to be cleaned up, and I'm here to help :)

Reply



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