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  • Ask Papabear

After Leaving Fandom, She's Come Back but Is a Little Worried

9/16/2017

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Hello, Papa Bear!

I am a new follower of your website and of course I had to follow because you seem so lovely and kind while being a bear I could just for sure hug on! But anyway, I have a concern.

A few months ago I decided to quit the fandom because I was both spending too much money on art for my old character and I just felt like I was too attached to it. My parents were very proud and so was my mate.

I lasted for a while, too. Only checking in to talk to the person who is buying my sona and the art. However, I felt kinda lonely without it. Most of my friends stayed, but I felt like it was hard to relate to them anymore. And not to mention I missed playing as a sweet cute little character who just wants to bring sunshine and happiness to the world.

So now I have a new sona. I've gotten art of her but not on the addiction level like I once was. I'm worried about my folks finding out and being disappointed, but my mate understands and is back in with me too. I'm quite happy again because lots of people wish to talk to me so I'm not as lonely as before.

But did I do the right thing? Am I just going to fall back into my problems again even though I'm aware and in a better place now? Should I have stayed away? Or was it the right idea to begin again with a more original looking fursona and have a fresh start since I'm happy?

Thank you for your time,
Cyandi 

* * *
 
Dear Cyandi,
 
Thank you for reading my column, dear. I’m happy to help.
 
Okay, so, sounds like you might have gotten a little carried away at first with the fandom. I guess we all do when we discover that there are others out there who like the same things we do. I went quite gah-gay over the fandom in my early days, including spending entire nights on SecondLife hanging with furries.

After a while, I calmed down a bit. I still love the fandom and am still a furry, but it doesn’t consume my life.
​
You’re doing the same thing. You got a bit too spendy, realized it, and backed off. Good for you! I know furries who can’t pay their bills because they spend all their cash on art and going to cons. You got smart and stopped yourself from doing that. Bravo.
 
But being in the fandom clearly makes you happy. So, why stop? I think you have your spending control, so there is no reason why you cannot enjoy your new sona and the camaraderie of your furiends.
 
I think you did the right thing, and I think you’re grown up enough to correct past mistakes and continue in the community.
 
Be Happy.
 
Hugs,
Papabear
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