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A Valentine's Day Quandary

2/6/2013

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Dear Papabear, 

I live in the Northeast and Valentine’s Day is coming up fast. I have promised my wife a memorable Valentine’s Day filled with dinner, a hotel room for the night, and a hot tub soak..... The issue I am having now is there have been these..."surprise expenses" that I seem to run into every week I get a paycheck. For example new shoes, replacement cell, and now I am going to need to buy a new belt..... I don’t make a lot of money and what I do make usually is gone by the end of the month. so my question is this....... How do I tell her I may have to take her out for a more memorable night later in the month (or later) without getting into a big fight or crushing her hopes.... I feel so lost and confused because she means a lot to me and I don’t want to see her sad....

-lonely & confused puppy

* * *

Dear Puppy,

It’s wonderful that you care about your wife and wish to make her happy. I’m sure she’s a lovely person, and, as a lovely person, she would love you whether you were a king or a pauper. As your spouse, she must surely also be aware of your income and that things may be tight because of some added expenses. I’m guessing that if you told her honestly what happened and that you are really sorry, she would understand.

But, you actually don’t have to disappoint her at all. Here’s what you do:  

  1. Make her a hand-made Valentine’s Day card. Doesn’t have to be fancy. Maybe a heart with a little lace around it and on the inside a heartfelt sentiment; 
  2. Go to the grocery store and buy some of her favorite foods and, when evening comes, cook her dinner (much cheaper than dinner out); 
  3. Buy her a small box of truffles (4 pieces is sufficient), and also a bottle of bubble bath soap (see below); 
  4. You can purchase reasonable roses at many grocery stores and even at 7 Elevens these days; get a couple, pluck off the petals of all but one, and scatter them on your bed; get some candles and put them in the bedroom and light them; lay the one remaining rose on a pillow next to the box of chocolates; (oh, and if it needs it, give the house a good cleaning);
  5. Put on your sexiest clothes, spray on some cologne; 
  6. Make sure to prepare all this while she’s not around; if necessary, ask her to run an errand or two; 
  7. Set out your best plates and napkins, candles, and maybe a runner on your table;
  8. When she gets home, surprise her with the dinner, present her with the card and tell her, “I love you. This Valentine’s Day is all about you. I appreciate so much all the things you do for me that I wanted to try and cook for you and be at your service tonight”; 
  9. After a lovely dinner during which you attend to her every need, sit on the couch for a while and give her a nice foot massage; then, take her to the bedroom (put a sign on the door, such as “Hotel Chez Furry” and it becomes your hotel room) where the candles and flowers and chocolates are prepared and.... well, let nature take it’s course (don’t forget the romantic music);
  10. After some fun in the hotel room, fix her a hot bubble bath, continue to play the soft music and set candles in the bath as well. Afterwards, massage her in bed until she is ready to cuddle up and go to sleep in your loving arms....

Takes a lot of effort? Yeah, it does, but you can do all of the above for a very reasonable price while giving your wife what she really wants: your time and love and appreciation and attention. Anyone can take their wife to a restaurant and a hotel. It takes a special guy to really show his wife she is worth a bit more effort than melting a credit card.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Papabear

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