A Nonfurry Who Likes Furporn

Dear Papabear,

Its a hard pill to swallow to say I use furporn because people who use furporn to fulfill their sexual needs more often than not are looked down upon. Anyway, I was exposed to furporn early on in life and found out that I liked it and use it normally. I've had sex and had no problem with “getting started” or my overall performance. It hasn’t “watered down” my attraction to real-life sexual acts or desires but enhanced in its own way. But I sat down today and asked myself why do I still use furporn and why do I still like it? I felt as though it was childish, so I looked at a normal porn video and some pictures and noticed it's all the same. I like furporn because it has diversity. Colors, races, styles (etc.).

My main question is, "What does this make me?" I wouldn’t consider myself a furry because I don't have any desire to partake in anything, being events, suits, and such. I simply just use furporn. I hope you are able to answer my question for me. Thank you for hearing me out and I hope I was able to bring a new perspective or anything of use to you and your journey.

Anonymous (age 20)

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Dear Furiend,

Thank you for writing an honest letter that I believe will be helpful to many of my readers. Isn't it funny how true it is when you say that people into furporn are looked down upon (including in the furry fandom) and yet furporn and other "regular" porn proliferates throughout the Web, literature, movies, sex clubs, and on and on? Human beings are sexual creatures. This is natural. What is unnatural is how social (especially religious) institutions make sex anathema, sinful, a thing only for degenerates, something that should only be used for procreation, and you better not even masturbate lest you go blind and grow hair on the palms of your hands and cause the dinosaurs to go extinct (Family Guy joke). 

Complete nonsense. 

The elite and powerful in human society use guilt to control people into "behaving." The result of this is that a vast number of people have become neurotic about sex and many who try to repress their feelings later release their sexual tension in inappropriate, hurtful, violent, criminal, and truly sinful ways (i.e., e.g., rapists, pedophiles, spouse abusers, and priests molesting little boys or having sex with nuns).

The truth is that it is MUCH healthier to have an active, playful sex life. People who have satisfying sex lives are happier and more mentally and emotionally balanced. Sexual fantasy is a part of this. There are many good things about sexual fantasy, the main one being that it is a safe way to stimulate the libido. It also helps you run through your mind many things that you might like to try with your consensual partner. In fact, talking with a partner about sexual fantasies can help you strengthen bonds you might not have known you had. Now, one might have some very "out there" fantasies that you wouldn't try on anyone (a common one in the fandom is vore fantasies, for example). You shouldn't worry about these. As marriage and family therapist expert Steven Ing wrote in a Psychology Today article: "Just as fantasizing about being a world-class jewel thief doesn't mean you're going to become a thief, having sexual fantasies doesn’t mean you're going to act on them. Fantasizing is our brain's way of projecting a future scenario or trying ideas on for size. It's also a way of reliving a wonderful moment or deriving comfort or pleasure from an alternative reality."

And, of course, always keep in mind the Wiccan Rede: As long as you're not hurting anyone, do what you like. You certainly aren't hurting anyone by watching furporn. But it is also important to note the dangers of porn addiction. Judging by your letter, you are already aware that too much porn viewing can numb the senses and actually lessen one's real sexual activity, and you assert that your own libido has not been "watered down." Good for you :-)  Further, you note that furporn is really no weirder than other porn on the internet. So, furry fantasies are just another type of imaginative RP of the mind.

In short, you have nothing to worry about. Pretty much all sexually active human beings indulge in some sort of fantasy, so you are totally normal. Yours just happens to be furporn. Big whoop. You seem very aware of all of this and, IMHO, you are quite smart and in tune with yourself. You're mentally and emotionally healthy. Lastly, just because you like furporn doesn't mean you're a furry. It's not like, "Ohmygerd! I watched anthro wolves having sex! Now I have to go buy a fursuit and attend a furry convention!" Relax. The Fur Police aren't gonna knock on your door for noncompliance.

Hope this helps. Remember, play safe and have fun! Thanks for writing!

Bear Hugs,
Papabear