Hello Papa Bear!
First of all i want to apologize about the last letter i sent you and i couldn't reply due personal problems and many things to do. I have a problem that has been haunting me for a long time. I know, i'm a bit old for this kind of stuff, but i'm tired of have the same problem when i meet someone, and i think you're professional with this kind of problems: this is an example what's happening, but this is a bit more important, and it's one of the most bigger problems I have I got two friends: one from San Diego and another from South Africa, I met the first one when a year after I started in FurAffinity, and we became best friends some months later, and the another one, I saw his profile in FA thanks to a friend, but at first I thought he was someone egotistical, but when the San Diego started a role play group on Skype, with me and another 5 guys I changed my mind about him, It was the opposite of what I thought at first, so later we became friends, the first group only it lasted until August 2015 due we had various problems with one of the members and we started another one with just the only four members.
But during May or June 2015 I started to get many anxiety problems, at first I thought I could control that, but it wasn't, and to date I still have these problems but knowing why it happened, but over time he began to generate problems of depression, and I began to reflect on the RP group, I got into trouble within the group, and I got to leave the group on several occasions, but the last was a reason that bothered me from the beginning of the first group, the guy from San Diego always helped me when I left the group for several occasions, so the last time I left the group I said I was sick of not put me attention as others, there was some favoritism between them and it seemed like I was not important to them, and made their own stories without will include me in them, he tried to see a way to help, but did not seem to be helpful, and indeed, there came a time I spoke to the boy of South Africa for the gradually began to behave very sharp me both RP and chat, send a letter asking him what was wrong, that was not the first time I did that, the first time, when our friendship was much closer, he apologized to me and told me that no happen again, but this time was much different, let me in them, just she told me to do something to change, but at that time, I did my best to be treated like others, but all were in vain. Finally the boy from San Diego came up with something to help taking advantage of Halloween approached, he had a character not used for a long time and started to do a story involving my character and where we were all going to participate, everything was very well planned, but everything gets worse after we began the story within the group, I had the stupid idea that one of my characters commit suicide to fix the main problem of the story, I doubted that but just when I wanted to fix it was too late, and one member who was present quickly left the group, the guy from South Africa, just sent a message saying "WTF?!" and also he left the group. Quickly me and the guy from San Diego I wonder what was wrong with me, I told him I had never been my intention, and try to talk to the two who had left the group, but the guy from South Africa was very angry, and the girl He would not return to know the group, I did not know what to do, and burst into tears explaining everything that had happened to me and intimating my reasons that had left the group several times.
Finally he understood everything, and said that would not give up for helping restore friendship boy from South Africa and after a week, after she asked him to ask him to send a letter via skype apologizing and explaining everything that happened, the guy from South Africa sent me a private message forgiving me and I finally understood why he had been so curt with me I was going through family problems related to his father and did not want to embarrass him with my role plays depressants, and asked me to promise not to return to that sort of thing, and with everything that happened I did not want that to happen again that and I promised, then said he would have to spend a good time to come back to the group, I said no problem, but apparently he was mad at me, and there were times I had to ask the guy from San Diego on how I was the guy from South Africa, he came to me to show several chats boy from South Africa saying he knew that it was never my intention to hurt him, but still remained uncertain until finally in December of that same year the boy from San Diego said we were going to return all in a Christmas role play, but anyway I was very unsure about that, and personally wrote a letter via skype the boy from South Africa, explaining everything and apologetically as I never had, it took two days to answer, the apparently he was annoyed to hear the same story, but he told me not to worry about that, because he had forgiven me for several months, and I was more than relieved when I sent that message.
before it was Christmas I sent them to draw a picture for the boy from San Diego, but just a day before told the artist that will fix the mistakes he had and took a lot more than I expected, I warned him that I would take to reach you, and I said no problem, if I'm not wrong was around that time that the following happened: also because of my anxiety problems I suffer, I tend to be jealous, but before I suffer these problems was not jealous.
I think it was a few days before Christmas, the guy from South Africa made a vore comic character boy from San Diego (I feel like I get in trouble for this but here I leave the link of the comic: also because of my anxiety problems I suffer, I tend to be jealous, but before I suffer these problems was not jealous.
I think it was a few days before Christmas, the guy from South Africa made a vore comic character boy from San Diego (I feel like I get in trouble for this but here I leave to you the link of the comic: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18524978/)in a way I felt jealous, in fact there was a time that I refrained from entering FurAffinity by the comic, but in my mind told me "will come your day ... he will do something for you" and otherwise felt guilty ... very guilty, I felt I did something wrong to not deserve his respect, felt I was not friendly enough and I should do something to deserve their respect, after a while I forced myself to see the comic and tell me myself "will get your day ... he will do something for you, and if he doesn't you do not mind, he do not need to make you a picture to show you you're his friend" and for a while I said that and I forget it, had passed the Role Christmas Play and everything returned to normal, my friendship with the two became much narrower, and only three of us create our own group Role Play, referring to the game Assassin's Creed, but before that, in early February I got the picture that would give gift to man from San Diego (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18922338/) I apologized to him, and he did not care how long it takes, the intention was the which had, when I showed, I think something did not like, I asked if he liked, but apparently not reflected, and told him that if he did not like he could do anything for him, he said it was not necessary, He said he liked a lot, but I knew not, and in fact I told him that if he wanted he could raise his profile, I felt bad because I felt it was not the best thing I did, later seeing the two of them had better than me, during Valentine's day I sent a letter explaining better what happened to me, I apologized for not being a good friend, he understood everything and said he has always been to help me, but my problem is that I feel impotence, because the two of them usually wear well and gifts between them are made, and my helplessness I can not do something for them, and I really do not know if I'm not doing something right or do not consider me as a good friend.
I do not know what to do, I do not have a credit card much less money to do something for them two, have perhaps been a bad friend? I can not speak more, because I have already done several letters explaining everything, what I can do? I am doing something wrong? Is there something I'm forgetting? are not the only ones with which this happening to me, just with some friends I feel like it was not someone important to them, please Papa Bear, help me, I am very confused and worried, I do not know to do. Thanks a lot for your time, and I’ll wait the time you need for reply, I’ll be grateful if you can help me in this situation. Needless to say I appreciate all
Guilmon 1998 a.k.a Jake The Flamedramon/ Drake Daigo (age 25, Mexico)
P.S: all of them I know personally
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Yours was a long and kind of confusing letter, but here is my reaction to what I understand of it:
The RP thing where you have a character commit suicide: the people who promptly left probably overreacted (unless you did it in a graphic, tasteless way, which I doubt). This is a bit of a case of dramaqueenitis. People need to get a grip; this is fiction, role play, get over yourselves. Sheesh.
As for the friendships: remember, friendship is not about giving gifts or giving money. And true friends who do give gifts should never expect something in return. If you are only giving something to a friend because you want something back, then that is not a sign of generosity.
True friends do not care if you are rich or poor. They care about you for who you are, including your flaws. How do you repay them, then, for their kindnesses? By being kind, respectful, and helpful in return. By giving them someone to talk to who offers sympathy and empathy.
Jealousy results from lack of confidence. When we are not confident in ourselves, we fear that people we want to like us will not see us as worthy and turn to other people for affection. Therefore, self-confidence is a key to happiness. You say you suffer from anxiety. Not sure if this is a medical condition or something that is self-inflicted. If it is medical, see a doctor; if it is self-inflicted, then the best way to relieve anxiety (and stress) is a thorough routine of meditation, exercise, sleep, and eating correctly. It will do wonders for your mental and physical health.
Finally, don't play games with people. For example, don't use furry art as a manipulative tool to gain friends or hurt people. Be sincere. Say what you mean and when you make a promise, keep it. When you are honorable and true to yourself and others, you will find that contentment follows, neither will you ever find an occasion when you need to apologize for your actions.
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