A Common Problem: Being Abandoned by an Online "Friend"

Hello,

First, I'm sorry if I make some grammatical mistakes here and there. English isn't my first language, but I try my best.

I've been wanting to ask something for a long time, but I always thought at the last moment that I'll just ask some other time and I can handle the problem myself. But now I'm starting to lose hope, so I finally decided to write to you.

I'd also like to say, before I start, that I had never met the person that I'm going to talk about, in real life.

It's about a friend of mine. Or, at least, he's a friend FOR ME. He doesn't call himself a friend of mine anymore.

He's ignoring me. I met him in an online game in the second half of 2014. We had been talking for a few months, Then FNAF [Five Nights at Freddy's] came out. Long story short, he managed to get me in the furry fandom thru FNAF. (Quite cringy, I know.) I created a furry Steam account, that I started using as my main account for that app. He helped me find my first furry friends online, got me in some furry groups, etc. It all was perfect, we talked a lot, we were great friends overall. But then he started to get busier and busier.. or at least he said that to me. We started talking less and less because he wouldn't respond.

End of 2014 comes. I was at a party with some IRL friends. They ask why my steam acc is so cringy, if I'm really a furry, if I'm bisexual, etc., etc. I decide to take ALL furry stuff down from my account because I don't want to lose the only people I talk to, in real life. Even though they weren't great friends, I still cared about their opinion.

In the year 2015, nothing much happens. Me and him barely talk. He seems to forget about me, and removes me from Steam at the end of the year. (I didn't notice it, hadn't checked.)

2016 is here. I was wondering why hadn't talked to me for a long time. I checked and realized that he had removed me. I try to regain contact with him thru the online game which I met him in. He still has me in his friend list (never removes me there in the future, too), but he clearly ignores me.

Second try. I try to regain contact thru his friends, befriending them, asking if they could help me and such. He had told his friends that I was some random stalker.

I'm almost done at this point, I try one final time - I try to get my friends to talk to him. They all end up blocked by him.

I still to this very moment try to talk to him on a messaging app called Telegram from time to time. The funny thing is that he hasn't blocked me. He READS my messages. Never replies, though.

Sometimes I just start thinking about him, thinking how much of a great friend he was. Then I feel like shit. I feel like it's all my fault. I may even cry. This happens about 1-2 times a month.

I just want to know what should I do. I can't simply forget him and move on. Everyone has already told me to do it, but I can't. I want to talk to him at least once more, ask him why he's being like that, why he's ignoring me. But it all seems impossible. 

Zen (age 15, Estonia)
 
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Dear Zen,
 
(BTW, your English is quite good.) Papabear gets many, many, many letters like yours. I hear this story all the time about some online furry friend who seems great at first and then, suddenly, ignores and drops out of the life of the furry friend. Repeated efforts are made by the letter writer to reestablish the friendship--all to no avail. The person writing to me is left wondering what went wrong, with no sense of closure, and yet still wanting to be the friend of the person who snubbed them.
 
So, here is my advice.
 

1. Realize that in life you will have many friends who come and go.
   
2. It is NOT YOUR FAULT if they leave your life. It is THEIR choice. There could be many reasons why they did this, and most likely it is for selfish reasons.
   
3. Continuing to pursue them is just going to frustrate the heck out of you. You will only drive yourself crazy by continuing to do this.
   
4. You are probably better off without such people in your life (the kind who abandon you).
   
5. You say you can't let it go? Yes, you can. Try harder.

 
Is this all disappointing? Of course. Life is full of disappointments. If you can, learn from them, and then move on.
 
Good Luck,
Papabear