30-Something Dragon Is Having Little Luck in the Dating Scene

Papabear;

This is probably the most clique question you will ever be asked. Where do you find a mate? I am a but confused by some of the advice I have seen on your website and from other friends.

I agree that hunting for a mate ... looking for a mate exclusively is a bad idea. But how do else do you find single people? Most of my friends are either old enough to be my parents or too young for me maturity wise. I have had 2 'mates' in the past few years, but had to end both relationships because of maturity differences.

I have very little in common with most furries, most gay people and, well, most everybody. Like most dragons and I am reserved and introverted. Aside from fursuiting, going to furry conventions, most of my hobbies involve photography and travel. I always make it a point to talk to people and enjoy meeting new people and making friends, but I never seem to find anybody that is 'mate' material - if that makes any sense.

Being in my mid 30s makes me too old for the furry fandom these days. Most furries my age are already taken or straight and have families. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and honestly can't say I care for parties or bars. 

Sorry for being so long winded about this but I thought some background information would help with my situation - which may or may not be all that unusual.

D. Dragon (age 35)

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Hi, Deval,

Perhaps you should look for another dragon of about your age to match or complement your temperament. You might try the group http://furry4life.org/group/dragons, which has about 250 dragons and dragon fans. There are also some gay dating sites out there that could help you find a match similar to your temperament and interests. Avoid the hook-up gay sites and check out the more serious ones. One that a number of people recommend is http://www.compatiblepartners.net. You can always look for clubs or interests groups related to your hobbies of photography and travel. Being active in such groups increases your chances of meeting people with similar interests. Try some searches on Facebook or Google, typing in keywords such as "photography club" and the state or city your are in.

Another thing you can do, if going it alone is just frustrating the bejeesus out of you, is hire a professional matchmaker. They are listed in the online yellow pages, or you can always google them.

Also, reexamine your past dating behavior. Are you limiting yourself too much to one "type"? I remember how a good friend of mine kept dating women who were 10 or more years younger than he was and who were, frankly, not as bright. Finally, he wised up and found a smart woman his own age with whom he could carry on an intelligent conversation and they have been happily married for years.

Do not be overly picky or selective in choosing a mate. While you shouldn't just settle for anyone, neither should you be so particular that you reject all potential candidates. You will never find someone on the planet who matches every single one of your qualifications. Remember, there is always room to grow together. The qualities you should search for are kindness, consideration, empathy, and maturity. When you find someone who cares about making you happy as much as making himself happy, you have come a long way toward finding a fantastic mate.

Good luck!!!!

Papabear