Write to Papabear

10-Year-Old Furry Is Afraid to Tell Parents

7/13/2013

Hi...

I recently found out about furries ad I have became one because it makes me feel good and no longer shy. I have tails I use but I don't know how to explain to parents... I'm very nervous.

Shadow Wolf

* * *

Hi, Sweetie,

I think you’re about the youngest furry to write me so far. Nice to hear from you :-3

The problem a lot of new furries seem to have is that they buy into the notion that being a furry is somehow bad or wrong just because it is not something most people do. Getting your mom and dad to understand that being a furry is just a fun thing and not a threat or scary in any way should be as simple as saying, “Hey, Mom and Dad, guess what? I like Bugs Bunny cartoons!” Who would be upset by that? And, as for wearing a tail and such, playing “dress up” is part of most kids’ childhoods, even those who aren’t furries.

I’d like you to watch this video from my friends at FurMedia. It is a parent explaining her reactions to and acceptance of her furry children:

http://www.livestream.com/furmedia/video?clipId=pla_415ae6b2-e180-473e-a5e2-6541276fc511&utm_source=lslibrary&utm_medium=ui-thumb

You can show that to your parents, if you like.

As I’ve said in other letters, of course, telling your family about your furriness also depends on how open-minded they are. Some parents are very controlling, protective, and offended by anything out of the ordinary; other parents—the good ones—will see that being a furry makes you happy and they will support you. If your parents are like that, there is nothing to fear.

You can also aid in this process by learning more about furry and its history. You know, modern furry began simply as a bunch of sci-fi/fantasy buffs who liked anthropomorphic characters. They got together talked about books and movies that had characters who were animals but could also talk or had other human qualities. It continued from there to what it is today: an incredibly diverse fandom with people in it who have a wide range of interests.

Caution your parents that not all furries are the same, and make it clear to them what kind of furry you are.

If it will help, tell your parents they can write to Papabear and ask questions about the fandom. I would be happy to answer anything they would like to talk about.

Welcome to the fandom! Don’t be scared. You now have a furry family!

Papabear

96 Comments

Jordan

7/1/2014 02:48:14 pm

Im a 10 too.glad to see im not alone.:D

Cici

2/24/2016 08:29:34 pm

:) same ❤️❤️❤️

Kiva Tea

7/22/2016 04:51:33 pm

I am 11 yrs old. I told my parents that i was a furry' and this was they're reaction: Meh. xD

NormPlant

4/2/2018 03:23:07 am

I also recently discovered furries and I am also 11, but it do not know what to say...

Nina clinton

11/19/2018 12:00:29 pm

Aww lucky your parents understood I haven’t told mine but I’ll probably get into lots of trouble if I say

Hans the luger link

12/29/2018 11:01:02 am

I like kitties

THISISME link

1/7/2020 05:23:03 pm

i am too scared to tell my parents, and im ten too! i asked mom, "do you know what a furry is?" and her reply was "yeah..stay away from those." but i didnt and i made my own fursona, and i think i might tell her!

Naomi

5/25/2020 08:52:53 am

I also happen to be 11. But my parents think that being a furry is weird and messed up...I don’t know what to do, since I am a furry myself!? I need help! My mom now gives me a weird look when I mention ANYTHING about animals!! Even when I talk about how cute our dog is!! I’m freaking out!! I need help (ㆀ˘･-･˘)

Itz_SplotchYT

7/25/2020 06:17:51 pm

i need some help... im an 11 furry, my mom is the type say 'ok'' but say "i need to look more into it" and if she searches up furries- dear god she will not be happy with what she sees on google images of furries- im scared XD!!!!! papa bear can you halp me????? also, are you papa bear from bearenstein bears????! i just found you recently, i just have always wanted to be an animal since i was really young, i'd walk on 4 feet all aroung th house! before i know what a furry was, i still always dreamed of being an animal, what i said about my mom is the only thing im worried, ik theres nothing wrong with furries, they are just people who like anthropromotion animals! (idk how to spell it :p) but theres also a sex related side of furries, im not that! i just really enjoy being an animal! and if she searches about furry fandom and what its about, the images will be... questionable to my mom, and the websites would be like 'but theres also a sex related side of furries" and she will look into every inch of it- my dad is really strict and most of the time i want to rip his head off (when he emotionally breaks me-) he is real mean, he is rarely in a good mood, no one want to be around him, my mom and mybro agree he sucks, he is also very religious, stubborn, but also kinda stupid honestly, it would feel awkward to tell my dad im a furry, he wont even know what a furry is o.o,, if you know how i feel... it will be a lil less awkward with my mom, she is really nice! and my bro same, so i need advice here thank you!

Korifox

11/21/2020 07:46:41 pm

Same but I’m wayyy to afraid to tell my parents

Nolan link

8/13/2016 09:21:51 am

It's impossible to tell my parents I like furrys and I am one
I'm never telling them I'll just sneak into a furry convention or the
Next time a see a furry when I'm with my parents I'll say I wanna have a costume like that then slowly sometime my parents will know
I'll wanna be a furry then bam they can take me to a convention and ya

Blueberrx

6/9/2020 04:03:03 am

I'm 10 i might sneak In furry con soon😁

Mia

2/9/2017 06:12:39 pm

Funny I am also 10 and I am a furry!

Kady

10/9/2018 09:05:19 am

OMG IM SO SCARED TO TELL MEH FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT IM A FURRY.IM 11 AND IM A WOLF

Hailey

3/24/2019 04:47:39 pm

I am 11 and I am a furry, I've been showing my parents my Dutch angel dragon fursona and they think it is awsome! (I dont think they know what a furry is)

Gracie

11/7/2019 12:45:06 pm

I'm 10, AND i'm a furry aswell!

12/10/2020 11:04:42 am

my mom knows that i like furrys but then she researched and she said no and i was making a suit behind her back cuz i just couldnt resist... then she found out and know she is mad.... what do i doo
i have some fursonas and im crazy about going to a convention but my brother thinks they kidnap kids. (thats kinda dumb) plzz help

Hoodfox

2/18/2017 10:20:13 pm

im 12 :)

pichugirl11

3/24/2017 06:36:13 pm

Same

kali

1/31/2020 11:26:39 am

same

haley

12/9/2020 08:26:03 am

i am 10 an i have told my dad i want to be a furry and even showed him some tic tocks of them on youtube because he is the most chill and my brothers they are fine with it but i have not told my mom please help me she is not as chill as dad but still chill i really need help telling her i want to be a furry!!!! XD

KandiTheFurry

1/8/2021 12:36:07 pm

i'm 12 too, i show my fursona to my family members, but they dont know its my fursona.

my brother (one of them) hates furries and tells me to stay away from them. i dont think he reasearched the good side of them, cause he doesn't say anything about that.

my sister draws people with cat ears and stuff like that, but she says furries are bad.

i dont think my dad knows what furries are, but my family is christian, and i dont want him to reasearch the bad side of furries.

i uesed to hate furries, (oml whhy!) but now i know that not all of them are bad.
and i want a fursuit SOOO bad.

Brianna

6/27/2017 06:35:58 pm

Ricky bells

4/30/2018 08:59:46 am

I'm a furry and my dad beats me

woah there dad

11/5/2018 10:03:45 am

my dad beats me aswell

Skyler The Wolf

6/11/2019 08:33:36 am

Yo! if your dad beats you, Call Child Protection Services (CPS)

5/25/2020 08:56:17 am

WOW!! That’s not okay!!! You need to call child services and get out of there!! 😰

Rhymes

12/20/2019 12:50:40 pm

Me too I have paws and a tail I made (That tail is horrible) I wanna wear it around but I'm shy . I have told my mom but my dad doesn't know (I think) I really want a head and some feet. And im only ten I'm scared to come out but I can tell my mom doesn't accept me

William H link

1/15/2020 01:37:31 pm

My dad told me furries are bad and now I want to hide it. I'm 9 and a furry.

ally cat

9/6/2020 01:27:04 pm

IM SO GLAD IM NOT ALONE! IM A !) YEAR OLD FURRY TO!

Addison

11/20/2020 04:39:02 pm

Hello! I`mma 10 yrl furry too, glad to see I have a fellow kid furry <3

Eleanor

1/7/2021 12:46:28 pm

I'm a 9yr and my mom thinks it's a bad thing! :(

Rajiko

11/7/2014 06:42:56 am

Same here! I find it pretty hard to let the message get out to my relatives, but I've really only told my sister as she was the one close person I felt able to tell.
This was very helpful nonetheless, thank you!

fiona

1/6/2018 03:05:14 am

that's great i am 12 and i would never tell my sister even if she promised not to tell anyone i wouldn't ever

Ravioli E link

9/9/2020 08:20:53 am

Im 11 and i think my dad would actully like me being à furry since he already kinda knows cause hes gonna make à fursuit with me of mangle from fnaf and hè does cosplay too so i think hè would be pretty chill about it :) as for my mom i think she would think iTS cute xD

silverwolf

11/18/2014 01:37:21 am

i told my parents that im a furry but they don't understand me can you help me

Commander Kitty (my fur name!)

7/5/2015 06:53:13 am

I'm 10 too! So happy im nt alone.

Emma skyra

8/26/2015 12:41:39 pm

I am 13. I read this and I am going to tell them tomorrow. Thx!

Wolffy (11/wolf/gay)

9/19/2015 02:21:45 am

I told my parents and they sent me to church and the church man did things to me that i wish other wolves would x333

Papabear

9/21/2015 04:31:47 pm

Wait--what? Are you saying that your minister or priest molested you, Wolffy?

2/24/2016 08:30:57 pm

Oh my gosh! That would be awful! Gosh, I hope not.

2/22/2018 05:46:27 am

Um.... that sounds bad. Please write to me using the online form.

Anna (heck imma 10 yr old furry that acts like a 17 year old) link

3/24/2018 08:46:05 am

Oh shoot wot u doin boi

7/25/2020 06:22:49 pm

churches are messed up, they make you pay to talk to god, when they themselves are only human- no wonder they are so rich, the money goes to them, and i heard on the news that many famous preists have been taddled on by littl kids who got violated and molested and are told not to tell anyone about it...

Felixx

1/13/2016 05:18:03 pm

I was 7 years old (2004 on a November night while playing halo 2) I started being a furry at a young age but then I hardly know what a furry was since I watched that 1000 ways to die episode.

1/13/2016 05:19:06 pm

When*

1/13/2016 05:21:37 pm

At that age, my parents already know that how much I love animals/humanoid animals from movies or shows (thanks Disney and different productions)

Scythe

2/29/2016 10:46:51 pm

I am 12 and I have been studying up on furries and I was thinking about maybe getting a tail or something but I don't want my friends to laugh at me or make fun of me because I am not sure if I really want to be furry

Sky

4/13/2016 04:07:12 pm

I'm 12 to. I'm a furry. I don't have a fursuit. Instead i use a onesie. Close enough right?

Itz_SplotchYT / 11 / furry

7/25/2020 06:25:52 pm

you dont need a fursuit to be a furry!!! you just have to like animals with human characterisitcs, but if youre talking about a fursuit, yea a onesie i good! i have a uni one :3

Cypher

5/5/2017 07:40:54 am

Dude it's not just about idk getting a tail. In the furry fandom it's about leaving your old life behind because you want to be somebody else completely. Oh and as for your friends if they're your real friends don't support you on Oh and as for your friends if they're your real friends they'll support you on it. As for telling your parents and your siblings yeah that's where I'm stuck too, my name is Mateo I am 15 years old I have been a furry for three years now. But my parents are super strict and overprotective so I don't know how they would take it pretty sure my dad would disown me if he found out.

5/5/2017 07:42:28 am

oops typo I meant if they're your real friends they will support you sorry

7/25/2020 06:27:39 pm

where are you people thinking of getting thse tails?? i want a tail too :0

Willy Da Wolf (fur name)

4/23/2016 07:37:19 pm

I'm An 11 year old who was born into a christian family and i cant get my parents who are very protective, or my older siblings to get that a furry is not bad, but just something that makes me happy, Can You Help?

4/25/2016 09:55:23 am

Dear Furiend. Everyone is different, so it is hard to give you specific advice until you give me a lot more detail. Please go to the Write Me page if you wish, or visit the http://www.askpapabear.com/letters/category/coming%20out%20furry section of the site and browse the letters there. Hugs.

Anna (le 10 yr old furry that is -CHOKE- a roleplayer, artist, basically an oc generator, an animal lover, and a flipping gamer) link

3/24/2018 08:51:34 am

Heck I have a Christian mom and I told my dad but not my mom... I have the same problem (also fun fact my two brothers, yes counting my adopted one, are furries too)

Danny M. (14, Bi, Furry!)

5/29/2016 12:31:58 am

Okay I'm gonna try to make this hopefully short and sweet. I'm 14, my name is Danny, (Just for extra assurance) and I live in California... So anyways, I am a furry, very nice and polite, BUT I'm scared that one day my parents will find out and it's gonna go downhill from there. Telling me things like: "This is stupid/weird/pointless". Ya know, stuff that hurts the furry community and me personally... So I need to tell them that furrys are special and they just don't understand how awesome they really are! But I'm scared to tell them... Please help... Q~Q - Danny, with hugs and kisses

Kane

6/25/2016 06:56:46 pm

Kataco

6/27/2016 01:45:07 pm

I am a little scared to I really want a Japanese style blue fursuit but pricing is so expensive and I have $10 lol anyway my parents idk how to tell them to them a furry is a bad thing why can't the world understand and
If I look up furry a on the internet I clear my search history just for being a furry I'm kinda feeling alone plz help me

6/29/2016 07:27:08 pm

Hi, Kataco,
Please write to me at kevinhile@gmail.com

Alpha Sergeant

5/6/2020 12:01:53 pm

don't feel alone you're not the only one having this issue and we can all make it together

Cosmo fursona name

6/15/2020 08:39:12 am

that fursuit style is called kemono. i wanted a kemono suit too of a dragon

7/25/2020 06:31:47 pm

hey kataco, you should NOT get a fursuit when you hvent finished growing, you will grow out of it fast and itll end up being a waste, either wait till youre done growing, or buy a fursuit just to see you dont fit it anymore in 2 years, or stop growing xddd
NOTE: fusuits can cost up to 1,000 or 300 dollars-

Cosmo (fursona name)

6/15/2020 08:37:53 am

rly? y u not write

8/13/2016 09:26:36 am

You should all read this if you like to be a furry there is nothing wrong with it I'm a furry your just a person who likes to where Animal costumes and thinks animorphic animals are cool oh a animorphic animal is an animal the walks on to legs

7/25/2020 06:33:28 pm

anthropromorphic animals can be any animal who walks, talks, or has clothes

Troy

1/10/2017 02:29:46 pm

awww im 14 but im also too scared to tell them :( Idk how but i know my mom is gonna be like: you're so damn weird

2/22/2018 05:45:32 am

Please write to me using the online form.

5/5/2017 07:22:33 am

I am 15 and a furry. My fursona is a wolf-dragon hybrid called Cypher

Im a fury

8/29/2017 09:33:17 am

I want to be a fury as I reckon it is cute but I can't afford it as they are £25 or over and I'm scared of telling everyone as they might think I'm weird and crazy.

Raspberry Splash

12/6/2017 03:42:25 pm

I'm a 9 yr old furry and I still find it impossible to confess to my parents... >_<

Anna (O H S H O O T I M L A Z Y) link

3/24/2018 08:57:15 am

Heck you’re 9?! Oh my god I was like 8 when I became a furry i’ve been a furry for 3 years- I really hope you have some luck in being a 9 year old furry..

Leonie

7/21/2018 06:03:01 am

@Anna

You were 8? I was 9 or 10 when I first became a furry, I've been a furry for 5-6 years.

Jadelynn

12/6/2017 03:43:35 pm

In 11 I want a fur suit but there so expensive and my parents don't know I'm a furry °~°

GreyWolf

12/11/2017 02:10:00 pm

Hi. I am 13 and I found out about the furry. But I am nervous about telling my parents. And I really want to be a furry

KoalaFur

1/4/2018 04:59:55 am

I'm 11 and terrified to tell my parents. I'm afraid they won't understand.. Also, it would scare me if the word got out that I was furry to people I know from school. I'm kinda popular in school and I don't want to lose friends, but its really frustrating not being able to be myself :C

Nevy

2/16/2018 07:29:53 pm

Hey.. umm Papa bear. What if your parents are christian and see the... sexual part of the commuity? I'm 11 and you can see how that's desturbing for me to even know that.

2/22/2018 05:39:12 am

Yes, I get this question a lot. The answer to it will take many pages, which is one thing I am writing about in the book. VERY short answer: 1) sexuality is part of human nature and is all over the Internet, not just furry sites. Furries are no more into sex than any other healthy people. 2) Only a minority of furries are into furporn; there is SO MUCH more to the fandom than that, but that is what gets hyped by the media. 3) You are 11, so naturally your parents would be concerned. The best solution is to welcome them to observe and monitor your online behavior; hide nothing; download nothing; stay away from sites such as e621 and keep your furry socializing to safer sites such as Facebook and Twitter. 4) Join a Christian furry group such as Christian Furry Fellowship at http://furryfellowship.org/. 5) If you can, take them to a furcon and they will see it is quite tame and fun! Hope that helps

Anna (oH LoOk anOthEr 10 yEar oLd FurRy) link

3/24/2018 08:18:14 am

Thx for the advice XD

Apollo 78

6/20/2018 09:24:51 am

11 yrs old and scared to tell my parents. they never get me anything over $200 and the makers i'v seen charge about $3,000.

6/21/2018 07:53:42 am

There are cheaper options. Get a partial fursuit and/or a pre-owned fursuit. Maybe just start with the head. At 11, you don't want a full fursuit because you will outgrow it.

chary the dutch angel dragon

8/6/2018 09:51:11 am

im 11 and i want to go to cons but im arfaid to tell my parents.my mom did once on pintrest if a was a furry but i had no idea at that time what a furry was.

Shikuna(cat/dragon) /Loki(lion) I have two fursonas .-.

4/8/2019 01:49:51 pm

heh.. my parents don't know I'm a furry and my older sister found out in a pretty chill way. She literally walked in on me while I was making a fursuit ( I only have one paw done ;A; )

Snitchdademon

5/28/2019 02:25:01 pm

I Want to have a fursuit but i am scared to ask my mom ive showed her videos and i talk to my younger brother about it I am mostly scared about how my dad might react to it. I need some adivce plz

5/28/2019 02:37:34 pm

Well, you can say it's a lot like Comicon and all the Marvel and DC stuff only it emphasizes animals. We're fans of movies like Zootopia. Hopefully she would understand that better.

Sirus

9/5/2019 03:45:29 pm

So I am even and my sister makes fun of me for being a furryy and I like being a furry it's FUN. But I want to take it to e next level by buying a fursuit... by the sister's are going to be rude.... How do I tell them I'm a furry and to tell them to nnot make fun of me???

Papabear Grubbs

9/8/2019 12:14:55 pm

Hello, Sirus,
First, at your age you should not buy a full fursuit because you are still growing. At most, get a partial. Second, siblings make fun of their brothers and sisters. Even the ones who are not furries. They are going to mock you not because you are furry but because they want to make fun of you. It's called "sibling rivalry." So, stand up for yourself and say, "I'm doing this because it is fun. If you don't like it, I really don't care."

Ari The Tiger ♡

9/21/2019 09:23:09 am

I’m 10 and I think my parents have found out but I’m not fully sure yet and if they are not, I still don’t want to tell them, but it’s hard because I am the furry kid at my school and my friends always joke about it around my parents soooo... I think they already know

Stormi wolf ( fursuit name ) link

10/27/2019 09:32:58 am

Glad to know their are kids that are curries 🙇+🐺
=furry !😀

Riggs

11/20/2019 10:20:40 am

Im 11 and i don't really know how to tell anyone in my family im a furry, I haven't told anyone yet and i feel like if i tell them they'll Get weirded out by me. Im even scared too get a fursuit or just a tail or ears. I am even paranoid they'll find this text! Please help me.

Sara

2/14/2020 01:22:20 pm

I’m 11, mentally 13 and I’m scared to tell my parents that I am a furry even though they probably have no idea what a furry is. I’ve asked to get ears and a tail and my moms just like,” No, you acted like a wolf for to long(since I was 3) and I’m not encouraging it. Don’t ask me again.” So now I just wear head bands that have ears you’d probably find at the dollar tree and I feel depressed all the time because of it. 😿

Cosmo

6/15/2020 08:35:15 am

Hi i am 10 my fursona is a Space Dragon Named Cosmo (funny thing is i have a parakeet named cosmo). I first discovered furries when i was just searching random stuff up. ever since i was 8 i have been interested in getting a fursuit. but i dont know how my family is going to react to me being a furry. What do i do?

6/15/2020 08:42:01 am

Hi. There is an entire category of letters addressing this topic. Go here https://www.askpapabear.com/letters/category/coming%20out%20furry to learn more. If you have a special situation, you can always write me using the online form.

Ivy

6/22/2020 11:16:30 am

I am 10 and scared to tell my incredibly strict mom that i wanna be a furry she would probably ground me for it tho

7/27/2020 05:25:10 am

Hi, Itz,

Regarding your comment above in which your wrote: [i need some help... im an 11 furry, my mom is the type say 'ok'' but say "i need to look more into it" and if she searches up furries- dear god she will not be happy with what she sees on google images of furries- im scared XD!!!!! papa bear can you halp me????? also, are you papa bear from bearenstein bears????! i just found you recently, i just have always wanted to be an animal since i was really young, i'd walk on 4 feet all aroung th house! before i know what a furry was, i still always dreamed of being an animal, what i said about my mom is the only thing im worried, ik theres nothing wrong with furries, they are just people who like anthropromotion animals! (idk how to spell it :p) but theres also a sex related side of furries, im not that! i just really enjoy being an animal! and if she searches about furry fandom and what its about, the images will be... questionable to my mom, and the websites would be like 'but theres also a sex related side of furries" and she will look into every inch of it- my dad is really strict and most of the time i want to rip his head off (when he emotionally breaks me-) he is real mean, he is rarely in a good mood, no one want to be around him, my mom and mybro agree he sucks, he is also very religious, stubborn, but also kinda stupid honestly, it would feel awkward to tell my dad im a furry, he wont even know what a furry is o.o,, if you know how i feel... it will be a lil less awkward with my mom, she is really nice! and my bro same, so i need advice here thank you!]

You need to go here: https://www.askpapabear.com/write-me.html and fill out the form to ask me a question. I don't always see comments to letters right away. Also, no, I am not Papa Bear from Berenstain Bears, sorry. Just FYI, I am working on a book that will explain all about furries to people like you and your parents.

Hugs,
Papabear Grubbs

Chey Chey link

12/7/2020 04:30:38 am

Um so I’m 9 and I wanna be a Siberian tiger and....I’m really shy about opening up to it.....help me

10-Year-Old Furry Is Afraid to Tell Parents

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