Dear Readers,
There are two statements I hear frequently from furries these days: It's either "The furry fandom is so accepting of everyone!" or else "The furry fandom is toxic!" The second statement is soon followed by the announcement: "I am leaving the fandom!" There are popular furry vloggers who have YouTube posts asserting one or the other view, and I see furries on Facebook complaining about the toxic fandom all the time. So, which is it? Is it time to hold each other's paws and sing "Kumbaya, My Lord!" or should we burn it all to the ground and dance on the fandom's withered and purulent corpse? I am writing this editorial today to answer that very question. Hold onto your tails; here we go.... Let's begin with furry conventions. I returned from Biggest Little Furcon in Reno just a few days ago. During the con (I wasn't witness to this, just heard about it), apparently one of the furry attendees (and furiends) ejaculated on a pizza and left it in the hallway. Then, for some reason, a witless passer-by saw the za and ate some of it. Naturally, word got out, and it spread like warm Skippy peanut butter over toast all over Twitter. Immediately, there were posts that this would be the end of BLFC for it would meet the same fate as Rainfurrest. There were also posts about how the fandom has been overrun by pervs and that it will inevitably implode. Game over. Of course, the people writing these posts were not at the con. I was, and I can tell you it was a super con, well run, and everyone had fun. The guests, the hotel staff, everyone. I talked to some of the staff and security and they all said it was great. Hotels deal with crime and guest misbehavior all the time. The primary problem is theft, but there have also been cases of rape, drugs, and property destruction. This brings me to the big difference between what happened at Rainfurrest vs. BLFC. Rainfurrest attendees caused a lot of property damage to the host hotel, costing the hotel thousands of dollars. The main problem with Rainfurrest was that the people who ran the convention were too permissive. While I never got the chance to attend that particular con, I talked with furries who did, and they told me that Rainfurrest had a very lax, party atmosphere that encouraged bad behavior and had been doing so for years. The result was inevitable. A badly run convention will eventually close. This is not the case with BLFC and many other fine furcons. In the case of the cummy pizza, the guilty party was confronted by hotel security and dealt with. Reno Area Anthropomorphic Arts and Recreations (RAAAR), the organization that runs BLFC, raised over $21,000 for its charity and is already planning the 2022 con, which will occur in the summer. I'm not sure what attendance was (they haven't released final figures yet), but I'm sure it was a couple thousand furries, a nice number that I'm sure the hotel appreciated. While I was at BLFC, one of the panels I attended was called "Why We Care about the Furry Fandom." It was run by Stigmata (Jonathan Vair Duncan) and Sasha R. Jones, two well-known artists of fantasy and furry art. The two talked for an hour about how being furry is about exploring your potential, coming out about who you really are inside, discovering things about your orientation and your spirituality, meeting new and interesting people, expanding your creativity, and so on. Their hyper-positive view of the fandom went so far as to discuss how furry is becoming an important social movement that is gaining acceptance in the normie world. This view is shared by many furries who feel that the fandom is a happy place where everyone gets along and accepts you for who you are. There is an element of truth to this--a big element, really--but it is not entirely accurate. If it were, we wouldn't be seeing all the claims about the "toxic" fandom. A good example of this is this YouTube video by BetaEtaDelota. While acknowledging that there is a lot good in the fandom, he goes on quite a bit about the issues in the fandom that are not addressed (mostly about furries attacking each other). Yes, there are issues, and they are not addressed. Know why? Because, unlike corporate-owned fandoms such as Whovians and Trekkers, there is no one in charge of the fandom. The furry fandom has no organizational structure. No formal membership. No club president. No supervising board of directors. It is an amorphous blob of people indulging in creating a fantasy world of anthro creatures. Therefore! How can bad behavior be controlled if no one is in charge, eh? Oh, sure, there are furries in charge of Facebook (meta?) groups who can control posts as I do for the Greymuzzle group, but overall the fandom is like Hollywood's version of the Wild West. You're kind of on your own when it comes to controlling drama. But is the level of drama worse in the fandom than elsewhere on the internet? Hell, no. If you know anything at all about the online world and the virtual community, you know that it is bad everywhere. Hell, the current political divisions going on in the USA right now have in large part been incited by social media. The furry world is no worse than any other sordid corner of the cyberworld. This is true when it comes to cons, too. You think furries have exclusive rights to acting like twits in hotels? My sister would tell me about conventions she went to that were for college educators and how she would see biology professors become drunken idiots; my late husband went to journalism conventions and once opened the wrong closet door to see two attendees humping each other. And these were conferences with attendees who were much older on average than furries. Why, then, do we have this impression of ourselves as being worse than other groups? Because we set ourselves up for it. If you believe all the hype about how the fandom is a nirvana of acceptance in which people of all orientations, colors, and creeds don their fursuits or game avatars and get along like Girl Scouts around a campfire only to then discover that there is the possibility of running across trolls, haters, and prima donnas, you are going to be disappointed. Many are disappointed, and then they overreact and declare the fandom to be toxic. So is the fandom toxic? No. Is the fandom nirvana? Again, no. What the fandom is is a bunch of people sharing an interests in furry characters. The members of this fandom are human beings. All of them. Shocker, right? And although the demographics of the fandom are a bit different from the general population (e.g., more LGTBQI people, more young people, and, still, more white males, though that is slowly changing), people are still people. The vast majority of people I have personally met in the fandom are super. They are interesting, fun, intelligent, playful, openminded, and just super people. But, there have also been a few who are total butt munchers. Don't let these few negative people get you down. Don't let them spoil your fun. Learn to recognize and avoid them, and you will have a super-splendiferous time in the fandom just as I have. Remember why you came to the fandom in the first place. Have fun in the imaginative and creative world of furries. This is a community for you to enjoy, and if you approach it with a positive attitude but recognize it is not perfect, you will have a wonderful time. Thank you for reading this post. Please feel free to comment below. Hugs, Papabear
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Papabear,
For some time now, I've been creating my fursona. One of the problems that I've been facing was creating a name for it. I've been searching everywhere for ideas, but they've been taken by others, which deters me away from picking it. Additionally, I've seen other people whose fursonas have the same name, and those who were named after a real place. Should I be concerned about this when picking a fursona's name? Why or why not? Anonymous * * * Dear Furiend, There are two types of furries, in this bear's humble opinion: ones who take their fursonas very seriously as a reflection of their own personality and needs, and people who just see their fursonas as a kind of avatar for gameplay or chat rooms, something no more important than picking which color pieces you'll be in a game of Parcheesi. You seem to be a member of the former crowd, as am I. Names are just one trait of your fursona, of course, and they can be quite personal. Let me say, first of all, that it is okay if you have a name that is the same or similar to someone else's fursona. That doesn't make it any less personal. For example, my name is Kevin and there are a lot of Kevins in the world, but that doesn't mean Kevin isn't a perfectly good name to have. Similarly, when the movie Alpha and Omega came out, I noticed a lot of furries new to the fandom who were giving themselves names like Alpha This and Omega That. It was a bit of a fad that, thankfully, has faded. When it comes to picking a fursona name that is personal to you, look within, not without. There are two ways to go about this: you can either look for a name that is a reflection of who you are now, or you can pick a name that is a reflection of who you would like to be. For instance, if you are really into anime and enjoy Japanese culture, you might pick a name that is derived from the Japanese tongue. In the bear furry community, for instance, one sees quite a few Kumas (Japanese for "bear"). You might pick a name that means something more, such as Yoshio (joyful life) or, for a girl, Satomi (beautiful and wise). You can do the same thing with other cultures, the most popular outside of Japanese culture often being ancient European cultures such as Nordic or Celtic names, or you might see names from one of the Native American languages. You can also pick names that reflect traits you like about yourself or that reflect your animal self, or perhaps names that reflect a hobby. Or you can make up names that sound good to the ear and might be completely original (e.g., an archer named Brace Bowbender). Heck, you can even google "furry name generator" and find some results to play around with. The thing is, don't stress. It isn't as if this is going to be your legal name for signing contracts. However, if you get a large following of friends or become known as, say, a vlogger or fursuit maker, you might get stuck with a name once it is established, and if you don't like that name, it can be a bitch. For example, on my Yahoo account, I picked the name Zoobear because I like bears and I used to work at a zoo. Later, I found out that people looked at my name and thought it meant I was a zoophile. Yikes. And that name ended up on my FA account, too. Oy vay. But, I have a pretty good following as Papabear (aka Grubbs Grizzly) now, so it's okay. If you are curious, I came up with "Grubbs Grizzly" for a couple of reasons: 1) I like alliteration, and 2) my fursona is a laid-back, scruffy bear in tattered overalls. Later, I found out there is a comic book character named Grizzly Grubbs who is a nasty human who likes to destroy the forest and its animals. So, with my name came a built-in nemesis! LOL. To sum up, think about what your fursona is and what they represent; then, try to pick a name that reflects who they are. Make sense? Hope that helps! Good luck! Papabear Papabear,
I feel unwelcome in the furry fandom. How can I find others who respect me? I’ve been into the community for years now, and I came out recently in order to find others of similar interest. That being said, however, I feel like I will never belong there because of my beliefs. Furries are mostly either apolitical or left in beliefs, both of which I am not (Libertarian). As such, I feel such anxiety when it comes to this fandom that it’s genuinely making me have symptoms of depression and other such things, things I’ve tried to go back on. Whenever I see people like S******x or others who are so brazen about their beliefs to the point of annoyance, I just feel lost. I don’t want to have to agree to vaccine mandates (due to my heart problems with anxiety), support Black Lives Matter (socialist belief organization which I disagree with and movement helps that out), or have to scrub away my sense of edgy humor just so I can feel welcomed. This fandom was supposed to be my escape and exploration into the good of humanity, not one so drowned in drama and bullshit. I constantly think I have to change myself in order to be that way cause my beliefs have changed over the years from Republican to independent, but whenever I see other furries support the stuff that I can’t--and I have researched in order to make sure that I didn’t--it makes me feel even more depressed before I came out. And these people excuse it with weeding out bad people and it’s like, maybe people like T**********n wouldn’t have to do this reactionary shit if they didn’t harass him for liking Trump; maybe you should stick to your f**king motto of being accepting to those who need it. Unless they are a Nazi or an active dickhead to other people, they deserve to feel love and accepted. It’s so hard to feel genuinely happy and loved when it feels like everybody hates me or will hate me for being different. I don’t hate anybody else for their beliefs and choices, but I feel as if I’m the outcast for not “fitting in” with the main consensus of popular furries and ones that are political. Are there any communities that accept people like me who aren’t also political? How can I find the inner strength to keep going on without crumbling just to appease others? Axel (16) * * * Dear Axel, Thank you so much for your important letter. Don't give up hope! There is a place for you in the fandom. Let me begin by saying I am very progressive in my social and political beliefs, but in democratic countries like America and others, you are supposed to be able to hold your own personal beliefs without being persecuted for it. You are correct that the fandom, in general, leans heavily left. Check out this FurScience page https://furscience.com/research-findings/demographics/1-9-politics/ to see how political beliefs and other liberal v. conservative ideals are weighed in the fandom. It is interesting to see how social concerns (e.g., LGBTQI, women's, and minority rights, and issues like abortion) lean very hard to the left, but note that political beliefs are a bit more evenly distributed toward the middle ground and economic views (e.g., taxation) are even more moderate. A big reason for this is how many in the fandom feel themselves to be social — not political or economic — outcasts in our society. So, you will see a lot of LGBTQI people as well as a lot of furries dealing with various forms of social anxiety, body shaming, and so on. You also see far fewer conservative Christians in the fandom versus in America (only about 25% of furries consider themselves Christians vs. about 60% of Americans). Many in the fandom have therefore come to be furry because they were searching for a community that would accept them for themselves. But this is not why the fandom began. The furry fandom started because a bunch of sci-fi geeks who enjoyed anthropomorphic movies, TV shows, and books and comics got together to share their interests, publish their own journals, and talk about creating stories and art for adults featuring characters that were once considered only appropriate for kids or funny animal comic strips. It had nothing to do with your politics, social beliefs, or sexual orientation. Like everything else, politics has been invading every aspect of our society from business to family to entertainment. And it is ruining not only our ability to have fun but also our ability to maintain interpersonal relationships. To go into exactly why this is happening would take many books to explain. Let's just note here that it is happening everywhere, including in the furry fandom, a place that is supposed to be an oasis for escapism and imaginative arts. It is my personal belief that politics should be kept out of the fandom. When I attend a furcon, I don't want to see Antifa demonstrations or fursuiters wearing swastika-reminiscent armbands. I want to fursuit as Grubbs and attend some panels and forums and go buy stuff at the dealers' den and hang out with friends. This is something we all should have in common, including you and me. So, one strategy I would suggest to you in order to have a better time is imagine you are in a bar (gay or cowboy, you pick) and you DON'T want to get into a fist fight. What do you do? Don't bring up politics. The worst fight you should get into is whether you're a Cowboys or Patriots fan. When you're hanging with furries, talk about furry stuff. Talk about movies, art, comic books, video games, fursuits, and those sorts of things. Avoid furries who insist on shoving their politics in your muzzle. There is no reason to talk about Black Lives Matter or the state of abortion laws in Texas when you are at a furcon. Enjoy that part of yourself that is furry, and be yourself when it comes to your furriness. If you simply HAVE to talk politics and share your conservative ideals with furries or else you will feel deprived of your individuality, then I have news for you. There ARE other furries you can hang with who are conservatives, Republicans or Libertarian or Independent-Leaning-Right, and/or Christians/Muslims/Other conservative religious beliefs. Here are a few groups you might check out:
I'm sure with a bit of research you might find more. Obviously, stay away from Nazi Furs. My personal preference is to keep politics out of my furry life. This is why, as admin of the Greymuzzle group on Facebook, I prohibit such posts. I also run a group called Outcast Furries https://www.facebook.com/groups/1300922643291266, which is for furries like yourself who don't feel too accepted in the fandom. Feel free to join if you like. In conclusion, don't change yourself or pretend to be someone you're not just to gain acceptance in the fandom. Furry is not a political party or belief. It's a freakin' fandom and that's all. I truly wish people would keep their politics in their pants and not wave it around like a banner. It gets tiresome. Stay furry because you like furry entertainment. Don't let others chase you out because of who you are. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, you should do what you like. Hugs, Papabear Papabear,
Okay I would like to ask you if I ever want to start a furcon at other countries. I am seeking profits and the furcon is a non-profitable furcon. What are your best advices? I found you through a YouTube video by "Scar The Furry." Vinny (age 19, Malaysia) * * * Hi, Vinny, Founding and running a furry convention is a highly complex and work-intensive endeavor. (And THAT is likely the understatement of the decade for this column). I don't recommend you pursue it unless you have a LOT of help from people, especially people who have helped to run a convention in the past. Also, don't expect to make money running a furcon. You will be lucky if you break even. Establishing and running a furcon is a labor of love, not a way to make a living (although some companies like Corgi Events LLC are trying to do that). Many furcons declare themselves nonprofit organizations by contributing some or all of their profits to a charity. This has the advantage of making the furcon tax-free (at least, in the U.S.A. it does; I have no clue how this works in other countries). I've attended cons and volunteered at them, but I have never tackled the administrative side of a con. Here is a link with some advice from someone who knows more about such things. There are a lot of good insights on that web page to give you a pretty well-rounded idea of all the work that is involved. This is from an American perspective, though, and you will need to check laws and regulations in (in your case) Malaysia. Good luck! Papabear |
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A note on comments: Comments on letters to Papabear are welcome, especially those that offer extra helpful advice and add something to the conversation that is of use to the letter writer and those reading this column. Also welcome are constructive criticisms and opposing views. What is NOT welcome are hateful, hurtful comments, flaming, and trolling. Such comments will be deleted from this site. Thank you.
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