Hello Papa Bear, Me and my girlfriend are really wanting to get into fursuiting but we're really not sure here to get good fursuits. We know what we would like, but we have no idea where to get them, or how to make them ourselves. Please help a Fox and a Wolf! Many thanks, Kaz and Mjay * * * Dear Kaz and Mjay, Thanks for your question. This is a two-part answer: first, how to get fursuits made by others; and second, how to make them yourself. Commissioning a Fursuit This I know, having gone through the process myself. Like you, I knew what I wanted in a fursuit (a bearsuit inspired by—but not imitating—the ones in Disney’s “The Country Bears”), so I went online and looked at pictures of fursuits on FurAffinity. After a while, I zeroed in on a designer I really liked: Beastcub. Then I visited her website, which was excellent and contained information on how to commission a design. You can also visit a really cool site called the Fursuit Database (http://db.fursuit.me/). This thing is HUGE and searchable. Find a suit you like and it will list the designer and whether he/she is taking commissions. Once you have found a designer and agreed on a price, there are a couple things you need to do before the designer can begin:
Send all of this stuff to your fursuit designer and wait. Be patient, these things take time. Ask the fursuit maker to tell you when they actually begin construction and an estimated completion time, but don’t harass the maker repeatedly for updates unless you really want to be annoying. Once the fursuit is done, received, and paid for, you’re still usually not completely set. Often, you will need to make some minor adjustments here and there on the suit until you are completely satisfied with it. Before you have a contract with a fursuit maker, ask him or her whether and how many adjustments you can make after the final product is delivered. It’s a good idea to get in writing from the fursuit maker what he or she promises to do, when they plan to do it, and for how much. In other words, get a signed agreement so that, if things don’t go your way (such as the fursuit is never delivered) you have legal recourse to get your money back. This brings up another good point: look for and contact other furries who have had fursuits made by your designer of choice. Ask them if they were happy with the work and whether or not the designer was easy to work with. When I chose Beastcub, I knew she was a reliable designer. I also knew that I would need to wait quite some time before she was available to make the fursuit, so I was prepared for a long wait. But it was worth it! Making Your Own Fursuit It should go without saying—but I’ll say it anyway LOL—that if you are going to make a fursuit yourself you had better be a very good sewer. You should also know how to do other crafty things not normally seen in sewing clothes, such as how to make a fursuit head and paws. There are a lot of websites out there with information you can read and view, but one that I like is on Matrices.net at http://www.matrices.net/fursuiting.asp. This excellent site has a ton of information and videos on making your own fursuit. Kudos to Sara Howard for making this available to aspiring artists. Fursuiting Once you have your fursuit, now you need to know about performing in them and maintaining them. Fortunately! I have already written a column on that very topic here: http://www.askpapabear.com/letters/fursuiting-tips. Hope that helps, Kaz and Mjay! Happy Fursuiting! Papabear
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Hey, Papabear,
I am a new furry in the fandom and so far so good. I made my first partial suit and for some reason my handler wasn't paying attention. Five kids literally hit, stepped on, and pulled my tail. How can I quickly respond to this chaos without making the parents think I’m mean or something? What happened was that I made new plans for a fursuit, right? And I was wondering if u thought stompy paws would look good with ditigade legs :/ Mellow the Monster (age 14) * * * Dear Mellow, Welcome, furiend! On the first subject, you need to learn how to interact with people while in fursuit. Yes, your handler should do a better job because your vision is limited (maybe find a new handler or train him or her better on what to do), but there are things you can do, too. First thing is this: never approach other people—children or adults—unless they ask you to. Try not to let others approach you from behind (that’s something a handler should help you with). If you feel you are being surrounded and tugged or stepped on, retreat away from the crowd and collect yourself before going back to interact with people. If your tail is pulled again, have your handler politely ask people not to do that. If they won’t stop, then it is time to leave. Some crowds are just not very nice. As for stompy paws with digitigrade legs, sure, that could work. Make sure you carefully plan your design. Sketch it out several times until you get the right look before you begin sewing. Have fun! Papabear Dear Papa Bear,
Hey, it's been a while since I wrote you last! I have a different kind of question for you concerning fursuits. I've made two suits myself before, but they weren't ACTUAL suits like you see at the furry cons, but more like modified clothes I altered myself a few years ago. I then bought a mascot suit earlier this year for AC '14, and even though I had a great time, I knew it wasn't the real deal. Can I still call myself a fursuiter if I either wear a bought mascot suit or clothes that I added animal ears and tails to? Jake Otter P.S.: My last letter to you was in 2012 concerning my then recent diagnosis of Asperger's. I'm doing much better. * * * Dear Jake, The thing to remember here is that fursuiting should be fun! Let’s not split hairs (hares?) about what is a “real” fursuit and what isn’t. If you have a mascot suit, that’s fine. The point is that you had a great time! Yes, you’re a fursuiter. Anyfur tells you otherwise, I suggest you give them a big kiss on the lips, giggle, and bounce away happily just to piss them off :-P Hugs from a Fellow Fursuiter! I'm so glad you're doing better! Papabear Nice to meet you, Papabear!
My question is probably not too unique, but it's something I’ve been having a hard time getting any real clarity over. Without bogging you down with pages of medical jargon, I was born with a genetic disability called Spinal Muscular Atrophy, I am 100% wheelchair bound and require a lot of assistance eating, moving; it's... a lot of work; thankfully, I have very loving mate of about 6 years to help me. [Papabear notes: Spinal Muscular Atrophy is a genetic disorder that primarily affects the limb muscles—usually legs more than arms—but can also affect muscles that control breathing and other body functions. Types I and II can be very disabling and lethal, affecting children at a very young age, but since the writer of this letter is 26, I would surmise he has Type III, which, though disabling and increases chances for lung infections, still allows many patients to live a full lifespan.] Lately I've been thinking hard about getting a fursuit, attending cons and furmeets in my area, and meeting other furs. Now while I know there are many disabled furs out there that attend things like this, I'm afraid my condition and need of great amounts of assistance will make a lot of people uncomfortable or uneasy, and though I’d likely be in suit, I feel as though between my chair, and my mate and my 'sona's (I'm a Guilmon and he's an Eevee) we'd be very easily spotted out. I admit also IRL, I am a bit of a hermit, too, so a lot of it may be me simply overanalyzing. I guess my question mainly is: Have you personally seen many severely/chronically disabled furs in the community and maybe what to expect, or if maybe I should avoid the situations for the interest of keeping people comfortable? I've tried asking a few groups here and there, but I know it's an odd subject so I'm at a bit of a loss. Casper Epsilon (age 26) * * * Dear Casper, I know a couple of furries who are in wheelchairs. One, Anpu, is the head of my local furry group, the Inland Empire Furry Association. He has an Anubis mask and sometimes wears a partial. There is absolutely no reason why you could not get a partial (I'd suggest a partial would be better than a full suit—easier to put on, don’t ya know) and have fun being a Pokémon character with your mate. As for being noticed—er, that's a lot of the fun! Wearing my fursuit helps me to be more extroverted and have fun with people, and I would think that it could have the same effect on you, helping you to get out of your hermity behavior. I have seen a number of disabled furries at conventions, as well as a couple of senior citizens who are in wheelchairs. No one makes fun of them or is made uncomfortable by their presence; quite the contrary—I think most furries think it is super awesome to have them join in the fun. A big appeal of the furry fandom to disabled or chronically ill people is the fantasy of being freed by projecting one’s personality into a fursona and living out a fantasy on the Internet, a place where one’s physical limitations are not an issue. Many people like you just play out their furry life online, but there are a number of people, as mentioned above, and as you already know, who will go to furmeets and furcons and meet people in real life. As for needing assistance—actually, many people in fursuits have “handlers,” people who help them get around because your vision can be limited when you are in fursuit, so having someone help you because you are in a wheelchair and wearing a partial (or full?) fursuit will actually not be unusual at all. Your premise about which you are so concerned is that you fear that you will somehow upset other furries at a convention or meet if you appear in your chair with your mate helping you. You and I both know that that is just an excuse to give you a reason not to do something that makes you nervous and takes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t use other people as an excuse not to do something that deep down you want to do. It’s not their fault if you don’t go to a convention or a meet. Go because you want to go. If you don’t want to go, then admit it’s because you don’t want to go, not because you’re worried about other people being upset. Make sense? Remember, you only have one life. Don’t let fears and concerns about what people will say or think limit you in how you wish to live it. Hugs, Papabear Papabear,
There is a furry called Sky who kind of defends fursuit sex or somewhat (which is, of course, fine), but the way he does it makes it sound entirely horse-s@!#. Here is a stupid phrase he made up (I hope it's made up): “Fall in love with the fursuiter, never fall in love with the fursuit,” and he claims it's a common term. He claims that you must be attracted to the person inside and have nothing to do with the costume (AT ALL, I think) and whatever. Same thing with fursona icons or something. He thinks that if it affects some kind of “sexual orientation,” then somehow, to him, it might be a problem, I think. Not sure if that's what he meant, but it's really dumb when yet, to a lot of others, IT'S KIND OF THE POINT. I mean, I can understand if it takes over you in a life, damaging way, but having it as at least a requirement shouldn't be consider harmful at all. Especially if the person has no attraction to yucky, smelly humans (like it's a closet dream or something). I've never had sex in a fursuit before (though I should understand it by now), but I did kind of had a thing for icons as a symbol maybe. Without them, then it just feels pointless. Question is, do you agree or is it also fine to have it like this too? I've also wondered if it’s true that this kind of idea is common or it’s just him again. Diamond Man * * * Dear Diamond Man, Not to evoke your ire against me, but Papabear would agree with the statement, “Fall in love with the fursuiter, never fall in love with the fursuit.” What this says—and I haven’t heard it put this way before, so wouldn’t know if it is considered cliché within the fandom or not—is simply that you should not be shallow and base your relationships on appearances. It is a corollary to the much more familiar “beauty is only skin deep.” One might fall “in love” with a beautiful woman because she is extremely attractive, but if you court her and marry her only to find out that, inside, she is a very ugly person, then you have landed yourself in a very nasty situation. Any mature, deep relationship is based on a foundation of who each person is and not what he or she wears. Think of a fursuit as if it were clothing. Who would you rather fall in love with? A man who dresses impeccably in Hugo Boss and Armani but who does drugs, cheats, steals, and hurts other people? Or a guy who dresses in tattered jeans and a stained shirt but is kind, loving, and caring? Now, turn that Armani into an amazing dragon suit complete with movable wings, animatronic facial expressions, cool Medieval leather gear, and LED-glowing eyes. Inside that remarkable dragon is still a person who is a big, pardon me, piece of crap. And, guess what? That person is not going to wear that fursuit 24/7. If he or she is anything like me, the fursuit will only stay on a couple hours at most, and, once it comes off, voilá! Out comes the buttmunch whom you have chosen as a mate. As a furry, I certainly understand the physical attraction to fursuits, fursonas, avatars, furry art, etc. But I would never base a relationship just on that one aspect, and neither should you. Now, if you meet a super person and he or she happens to have an awesome fursuit, then bonus! But, if not, I certainly hope you wouldn’t reject someone in your life simply because you don’t care for that person’s fursona and fursuit. Such things should not be a requirement. As for whether or not this idea is “common,” I’ll let my readers chime in on that one. Papabear Papabear,
What are your suggestions to bring to a convention if it is your first convention? What food choices do you recommend to bring inside your hotel room to snack on as well? Plus, when going out with a group of Furries, how much do you recommend to tip? Thank you. Sincerely, Thunderwolf * * * Dear Thunderwolf, We’ll start with the easy one first: tipping. You should tip the way you always would when going out to eat. The easiest thing to do is to double the tax on the bill to calculate the tip. When the service is particularly good, I sometimes tip 20%-25%. And, if the service is really not good at all, I still give about 10%, unless it’s downright insulting, in which case I would leave nothing or even ask to speak with the manager. Now, if you are going out somewhere with a group of furries, go Dutch—that is, everyone pays for his or her own bill. I would not recommend one bill and everyone splits it, because often people get irritated if, say, someone orders a salad and water and someone else orders lobster tail and wine. So, pay your own bill. Depending on which convention you’re attending, there may or may not be reasonably priced local restaurants within easy walking or driving distance. Hotel fair is usually a bit overpriced. Many furries, therefore, go on a bit of a shopping trip before a con, which works especially well if your room has a refrigerator and/or microwave. If not, buy dry goods and other things that don’t need cooking. Bring a small ice chest to keep drinks cool. For food, it depends on whether you wish to be good or bad. Many people throw all caution to the wind during what can be a party weekend and don’t worry about unhealthy snacks. I, on the other hand, think it’s a good idea to purchase some fruit, which will be fine unrefrigerated for a couple days. You can purchase cereals (or pastries, when naughty) and put a quart of milk in the fridge or ice chest. This will save you a lot of money versus buying such things at the hotel convenience store. I just came back from Califur, and a friend of mine also brought bread, packaged tuna, oatmeal (use the coffee pot in the room to heat up water). There are a number of dehydrated or freeze-dried products you can buy that, while not the best in flavor, will do in a pinch at a con if you are really trying to save bucks. On to other things: you might want to bring a small bag of medical supplies including some or all of the following: bandages, Bactine, aspirin, Tums, Imodium, tweezers, and sunscreen; a pocket knife can also come in handy, as well as nail clippers if you break a nail. You might also want to take Airborne daily while at the con to help keep germs away (commonly called "con crud"). Take some multivitamins, too, and get 8 hours of sleep a night to keep your immune system strong. Events at furcons don't usually start until 10 a.m. at the earliest, so you can sleep in. If you’re a fursuiter, remember to bring a repair kit with you, including things like needle and thread, fabric glue, and, if you have them, extra fur for patching or other spare parts for replacing things that might break. Bring Gatorade to replenish yourself after suiting. Bring a travel cup with a loooong straw so you can sip while in suit. If you have one, take a cell phone with you. Make sure numbers of family members are there in the directory on your phone to contact in case someone needs to call and you are unable to. Barring that, just in case, keep a list of contact names in your wallet or purse in the unlikely event that there is an emergency and you are unable to call for yourself. This isn’t always necessary if you are with close friends who already know whom to contact in an emergency, but in a panicky situation it might be should they forget the numbers to call. Do not take valuables with you to a con, such as expensive jewelry, lots of cash, or expensive electronics, unless you can keep them in a safe while at the hotel. And keep an eye on your fursuit; it’s not unheard of for people to lose parts at a con (tails and foot paws can be swiped, for example). Keep cherished items you might have been considering taking (e.g., a favorite plushie) at home. You don’t want to risk losing something like that at a hotel. Check the weather forecast before you leave home and make sure you pack clothes appropriate for the weather, especially if you’re going somewhere that gets very chilly at night. Take a bathing suit if the hotel has a pool (they usually do). Some furry gatherings are actually campouts, in which case you want to be even more prepared. If you have never been camping, you should ask others who have and see what to bring. The above advice is for cons that are held at hotels. Thanks for asking! Hope this is a valuable post for some of you con-goers out there! Papabear Papabear,
What are your suggestions to bring to a convention if it is your first convention? What food choices do you recommend to bring inside your hotel room to snack on as well? Plus, when going out with a group of Furries, how much do you recommend to tip? Thank you. Sincerely, Thunderwolf * * * Dear Thunderwolf, We’ll start with the easy one first: tipping. You should tip the way you always would when going out to eat. The easiest thing to do is to double the tax on the bill to calculate the tip. When the service is particularly good, I sometimes tip 20%-25%. And, if the service is really not good at all, I still give about 10%, unless it’s downright insulting, in which case I would leave nothing or even ask to speak with the manager. Now, if you are going out somewhere with a group of furries, go Dutch—that is, everyone pays for his or her own bill. I would not recommend one bill and everyone splits it, because often people get irritated if, say, someone orders a salad and water and someone else orders lobster tail and wine. So, pay your own bill. Depending on which convention you’re attending, there may or may not be reasonably priced local restaurants within easy walking or driving distance. Hotel fare is usually a bit overpriced. Many furries, therefore, go on a bit of a shopping trip before a con, which works especially well if your room has a refrigerator and/or microwave. If not, buy dry goods and other things that don’t need cooking. Bring a small ice chest to keep drinks cool if there is no fridge. For food, it depends on whether you wish to be good or bad. Many people throw all caution to the wind during what can be a party weekend and don’t worry about unhealthy snacks. I, on the other hand, think it’s a good idea to purchase some fruit, which will be fine unrefrigerated for a couple days. You can purchase cereals (or pastries, when naughty) and put a quart of milk in the fridge or ice chest. This will save you a lot of money versus buying such things at the hotel convenience store or restaurant. I just came back from Califur, and a friend of mine also brought bread, packaged tuna, oatmeal (use the coffee pot in the room to heat up water). There are a number of dehydrated or freeze-dried products you can buy that, while not the best in flavor, will do in a pinch at a con if you are really trying to save bucks. (Note: a no-no is to bring your own hotplate--fire hazard!) On to other things: you might want to bring a small bag of medical supplies, including some or all of the following: bandages, Bactine, aspirin, Tums, Imodium, tweezers, and sunscreen; a pocket knife can also come in handy, as well as nail clippers if you break a nail. You might also want to take Airborne daily while at the con to help keep germs away (the infamous "con crud"). Take some multivitamins, too. If you’re a fursuiter, remember to bring a repair kit with you, including things like needle and thread, fabric glue, and, if you have them, extra fur for patching or other spare parts for replacing things that might break. Bring Gatorade to replenish yourself after suiting. If you have one, take a cell phone with you. Make sure numbers of family members are there in the directory on your phone to contact in case someone needs to call and you are unable to. Barring that, just in case, keep a list of contact names in your wallet or purse. This isn’t always necessary if you are with close friends who already know whom to contact in an emergency, but in a panicky situation it might be should they forget the numbers to call. Do not take valuables with you to a con, such as expensive jewelry, lots of cash, or expensive electronics, unless you can keep them in a safe while at the hotel. And keep an eye on your fursuit; it’s not unheard of for people to lose parts at a con. Keep cherished items you might have been considering taking (e.g., a favorite plushie) at home. You don’t want to risk losing something like that at a hotel. Check the weather forecast before you leave home and make sure you pack clothes appropriate for the weather, especially if you’re going somewhere that gets very chilly at night. Take a bathing suit if the hotel has a pool (they usually do). Some furry gatherings are actually campouts, in which case you want to be even more prepared. If you have never been camping, you should ask others who have and see what to bring. The above advice is for cons that are held at hotels. Thanks for asking! Hope this is a valuable post for some of you con-goers out there! It doesn't apply to just your first con, but to any furcon. Papabear Hi Papabear!
This is Dawnstar for another letter. For this one, I don't have any problems/concerns to report. This is more of a curiosity than anything really huge or important. I've been in the furry fandom for a good 4, going on 5 years now. I decided to join when I was 12 because I enjoyed drawing furries and I saw how much fun people who were in it were having. I'm really glad I joined because I love being a furry and all the stuff that comes with it. Through the fandom, I've met lots of awesome and interesting people and I've been taught to accept people no matter what or who they are. Being a furry is something that's joyfully permanent in my life. With that in mind, I've always wanted to go to a furcon. But I've been too young to go on my own, unable to afford a fursuit or build one, and none of them have been close to enough to my state. (Then I learned that there was a con only a few hours from my city. Knowing I couldn't get to it was a bit frustrating.) Eventually I'll be able to get to a con by myself because I can drive and I'm getting closer and closer to where I'm going to be moving out of my parents' house. Eventually when I get a job I'll be able to afford a fursuit or I will try to learn how to construct one myself. But when this happens, how am I supposed to act when I'm wearing it? I've always wondered this and I haven't been able to figure out an answer on my own. I've seen people wearing fursuits, but it gives me little insight. -Dawnstar * * * Welcome Back, Dawnstar, It’s important to note from the get go that owning a fursuit, even a partial fursuit, is not a requirement to attend a furcon by any means. I’m not sure that’s what you were saying, but it sounds as if you believe everyone at furry conventions wears a fursuit. That’s not any more true than it is in the general fandom. (And, while I’m on the topic, you don’t need a fursona to be a furry, either). Okay, so now that that’s straightened out, let’s get into our time machine and move the dial forward a year or two.... You are now old enough to live on your own, you have a job, and you have a set of wheels. Not only that, but you have managed to build and/or buy your own fursuit and save money to attend the convention that is a few hours from your home. So, you get to the convention, check into your hotel room, and the first thing you want to do is climb into your fursuit and head out into the hotel lobby and interact with people. Well, let’s put on the brakes a bit and back up for a second. First of all, you might want to check the program schedule at the con you’re attending. Many times you will see forums presented by experienced fursuiters on everything from fursuit making to general fursuiting behavior to performing on stage. I would recommend you attend one or two of these, especially as it’s your first time, before suiting up. In the meantime, I can give you some tips, certainly. First.... Safety Tips
General Maintenance
Fursuiting Behavior
Performance
Well, this has gotten a little lengthy, but I hope it has helped. I have probably missed something, so will ask my readers who are fursuiters to feel free to add further tips. Bear Hugs! Papabear Hello Papabear,
I'd like to first thank you for your time in reading this. I'm very very new to the fandom and I am still learning. My fiancé... mate, pardon I'm still getting a handle on the terms, of eight years has been very supportive in helping me as he has been a member of the fandom for many a year, but I feel like it is the one way we aren't connecting and for him this is major part of his life. I love him more than anything in this world and want us to be able to connect more. But before I get lost, I will get to my reason for this letter. I have a very, as most would call, unfounded fear of fursuits. When I was quite young my father took to the midway that was in town for the weekend and while there I was approached by a man in a Pikachu costume. I'm not sure what it was but something about this encounter left me terrified of anyone in a mascot or fursuit. Maybe it was poor condition of the suit, the lack of gloves or that I couldn't see the person’s face, something about it unsettled me. The reason this has become a problem is, as I said, my fiancé and most of my friends are furries and fursuiters. My fiancé has made his own suit and I'm trying my hardest to conquer my fear but I feel like it's one step forward and then a tumble off a cliff backwards. In 2014 I will be attending my very first fur convention, VancouFur. What I’m asking, I guess, is what do you recommend I do to get comfortable enough with fursuits not to have a panic attack in the middle of the convention space? Yours truly, Befuddled Hex * * * Dear Befuddled, Thank you for your fascinating question. It reminds me of my fear of clowns, which is why I hate Stephen King for writing It. But this isn’t about me. First off, I must praise you for working so hard to please your mate by trying to get used to furry stuff and fursuiters even though you aren’t really furry. (Oh, and it’s okay to use the word fiancé; furries speak English, too. LOL. Fiancé would actually be the more accurate term if you are engaged.) You should know, though, that you shouldn’t feel obligated to try and be a furry yourself if you really don’t want to. My husbear is not a furry, but he’s fur-friendly, meaning he’s totally cool with my dressing in a fursuit and going to conventions and such, but he doesn’t feel like he has to take on a fursona, commission a fursuit, and watch Kung Fu Panda I and II with me. That’s cool. As a couple, you don’t have to have everything in common. In fact, having some different interests spices up the relationship because you have different things to talk about. For instance, my ex is really into crafts like beading and cross stitch and quilting. I never was, but I was always supportive of that and it gave us something to talk about other than what we already did together. My current mate is totally into radio, TV, and Internet media, as well as Disco and television shows from the 1950s to 1980s. While I have some mild interest in those things, I’m not gaga over them, but it’s fun to talk to him about it, as well as hilarious to watch him break into a dance routine in a grocery aisle when Gloria Gaynor starts singing “I Will Survive” over the speakers. I just wanted you to understand that was an option. But to the question at paw: how to get over the fear of fursuits? Intellectually, you know that they are harmless, so, just as with my freaking out about clowns, you know this is an emotional response. These emotional reflexes stem deep within the more primitive regions of our brains, which influence us greatly especially in childhood. If you had encountered that Pikachu as an adult rather than as a young girl, you likely would not have this current fear because your adult mind would recognize it as a human being inside a cheesy costume. As a child, though, what you saw was this huge yellow creature with big eyes and freaky human hands looming over your little body. Yeah, scary. The best way to overcome this is through behavior modification therapy. That is, slowly working on altering your behavior through various exercises and gradual exposure to those things you fear. Here are a few things to try: 1. Ask your fiancé to wear his fursuit around the house, but without the head and with the zipper undone so you can clearly see that it is your mate in the fursuit. Have him do that until you are comfortable, then have him zip up the fursuit and be completely covered except for his head. When you are comfortable with that, have him wear just the head, but not the rest of the fursuit (his face is now anonymous, but you recognize the rest). Then, have him wear the entire fursuit around the house, but have him speak in the fursuit so you hear his voice. And, lastly, the entire suit but he stays silent and in character. 2. Dress in a fursuit yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and strike silly poses. Try to laugh at yourself at how fun you look. Laughter is an excellent way of overcoming fears. 3. Look at pictures of fursuiters and fursuiters in videos, too. This is a good way to get used to them without feeling threatened because they are next to you in real life. Just as watching a horror movie over and over again can make us realize that we are not in any real danger. 4. After doing all of the above, test how you are doing by hanging out with your mate and his furiends again at a meet or other fursuit gathering and see how you are doing. Hopefully, you will feel calmer and, if you can do this last step, you should be okay to go to VancouFur. If the above doesn’t work, you might need to seek some professional help to overcome your fears. You might even try hypnotism, which, I understand, can actually work for many people. Hope this helps! You’re a good mate, and I hope your fiancé appreciates you! Hugs, Papabear Hello Papabear!
I've been following your advice column since I discovered it late last month. Having said that, I feel confident that you could tackle my micro-issue at your leisure. My question to you: What happens to your fursona/fursonae when you die? I am considering passing them on to other responsible persons (or just one person) to enjoy, role play, fursuit, etc. so that they don't go to the grave/afterlife with me. Is my suggestion even feasible or practiced in the furry fandom? Either way, thank you for spending your time on me. I'm kinda new to the fandom so I really appreciate your advice. From Texas with love, Skyote * * * Hi, Skyote, and Welcome to the Fandom, What a fun question, and thanks for posing it. The answer depends on what your fursona means to you. For some furries, it is just a name they go by when they are hanging with their fellow furries; for others, it is much more personal. Grubbs Grizzly is my alter ego and very much a part of me and who I am. Therefore, when I die, that fursona goes with me in spirit. (Oh, sure, someone else could take up the name Grubbs Grizzly, but it won’t be the same.) However, I can’t pack up my fursuit and take it to the Other Side with me, so I am leaving that in my will (if it’s still wearable 100 years from now LOL). If you wish to pass along your fursona(s) identity(ies) to a friend after you go like you might a used silver tea set you inherited, you can certainly do that, but I don’t know why anyone would take it. True furries like to have their own fursonas. Half the fun of being a furry is creating a unique personality that you can assume as your own. I, personally, would feel weird calling myself Skyote, for instance, because Skyote is not me, he’s you. And I know some furries have multiple fursonas. Each probably expresses a different aspect of themselves, or they just like playing different roles. They might be more attached to one or two of those fursonas and a few others are just personalities they slip into once in a while. But, again, it’s the same thing as when someone just has one fursona. Being a furry is not like being a Trekkie, where you might decide to dress up as Lieutenant Worf or Spock or a Borg to go to a Star Trek convention. This is one reason I enjoy being a furry so much! I’m not going to show up at Califur or some other con and run into myself because no one but me is Grubbs Grizzly. To conclude, yes, it is “feasible” to give your fursona to someone after you die (which I hope is a very long way off for you), but I don’t know why you would do that. Let your friends come up with their own fursonas. Can you take your fursona with you? In spirit, sure! The physical accoutrements, like all physical things, will be left behind. Live Long and Prosper, Papabear |
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