(Latest letter, February 28, 2015)
I don't mind if you post this to your site, but I think people will think badly of me, primarily you... I dunno. but I just want you to know that Lion (cheating boyfriend who turned a new leaf, failed again, etc.) has done something drastic. For the good. At least I think so.... I know you will say to me that I deserve all the pain that he will maybe put me through ... and I know. But please hear me out....
I was unsure if I could write to you again because you told me to dump him and I did not listen. But I tried. I tried to break up with him, but after two weeks of back and forth communication, I noticed the primordial thing in all of this problem I had with him is that we did not communicate fully. Yes, he fell... but you gotta give me credit on something. I gathered the courage to tell him everything. How he made me feel, how I knew everything he did to me, and that if he wanted to be with me, he had to really gain my trust again. He cried while hugging me asking for forgiveness, and trust me when I say he does not cry easily.
I feel that this whole incident was a new turning point in our relationship and he finally understood the ultimatum I gave him. He cried for months, telling me how wrong he was, how desperate he was to change and that he was going to finally give all he had for me. Because I deserve it. He said I deserved only the best of him.
A few months later, he is kneeling before me, asking for my hand in marriage in front of our entire family and our friends.. and I said yes. I know you will say I am making the biggest mistake in my life, and I probably am... but... it's not that I'm afraid I'll never find love. I know I will, be it with Lion or with someone else, I know I can find love again. But Lion and I are so close together... when I am in pain, he feels it. When he is in pain, I feel it. It has become like that since everything happened. I can say he is my soul mate. My other half. I am thankful that God has allowed me to live in a far more beautiful reality than my dreams.
The sir that gave us the wedding gifts is still with us helping us, Lion stopped talking to that girl and deleted everything about her, and he has shown love to me far beyond I have imagined. He says he is deeply, amazingly grateful for what I did; he knows that he does not deserve what I did for him, but that I deserve only the best of him and that he will do everything in his will and might to make me happy til death do us part. I learned not to be weak minded and set my boundaries and he learned to say no to temptation and run away from it as fast as possible.
I am shaking right now because I know you or your followers will probably hate me or scorn me for it; when I wrote my last letter, it was out of pain, but this one is in a relaxed yet anxious tone since im secretly terrified of what others may think. :'( I deserve everything you may say or think but.... I just wanted you to know. keep it up, you have been of great help to me and many, many others.
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First of all, I would never hate you for following your heart. Secondly, what difference does it make what I or others think about you and Lion? The only thing that matters is what you and Lion think and feel.
My earlier responses to you were based on what you were telling me. I have the singular disadvantage that when I hear about people's problems, I only get one side of them. I never heard from Lion or what he was feeling and thinking, so I could only judge his actions by what you said--and what you said was said while you were in emotional distress.
There was once a time when I thought that people couldn't change. But that time is long past. People can change, the only question is will they? I do not doubt that Lion, at this time in your history, is sincere. Only time will tell if he will remain true to his word; he does have a history of going back to old habits.... Only you are responsible for your actions in believing him or not.
I truly truly truly hope that he has changed for the better; I'm still a bit uncertain about that. BUT! What I do see here for certain is that YOU have learned to stand up for yourself and speak your mind. Even if this doesn't work out with Lion later, I think you have learned a lot and have grown, and that is worth a million bucks. And, if it doesn't work, don't consider it time wasted. I was married for 21 years, and even though my marriage ended, I consider that time with her time well spent.
I wish both of you luck and love. Don't forget to send me some wedding photos :-3
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Oh my God, you're the best. <33 I am in awe of your kindness and care. I really thought you were going to throw stern words at me, but alas, you surprised me once more. <3
Of course I will send you photos! I am very thankful for your advice and care for us lil' furries. Thank you so much. <3 I know I can always count on you for guidance when I need it the most, and for that, I thank you. Expect an update from me in the future with my wedding photos included. It will be inDecember 19th, 2015! :D
God bless you!
Illustrations on "Ask Papabear" are by Dan the Bear. Check out this talented illustrator on FurAffinity or send him an email.