​Hello Papabear!
 
First I want to say how much I have enjoyed reading through your past letters and responses. The advice you give helped me answer a lot of questions that were arising inside of me.

Well, recently I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be part of the furry community. I'd always had a touch of furry inside of me, knowing about the top webcomics like Kevin and Kell, Fur Will Fly, and The Class Menagerie. I've always loved anthros, coming more from the Disney and Sci-Fi school of thought like the OG generation, and my favorite novel series are Brian Jacques "Redwall" books, which were a huge influence on me wanting to be a writer. 

I didn't keep up with pursuing the fandom in high school sadly. It wasn't the perceived social stigma, so much as I was not aware of anyone else I could talk with about the fandom and my interest laid dormant from graduation, through college, and through post collegiate life. I did encounter furs in college, but they were more ... exclusive, we will say ... about who they accepted and once again my interest retreated back inside.

Well, a couple months ago I befriended several people with ties to a different fandom who happen to be furries and I found myself remembering my old interest and fun at the anthro art and comics. I started diving a little deeper than I had since I was a kid, and learned about many top people in the community, and even for the first time discovering there is a literary side to it that is as healthy as the art. This intrigued me a lot...I've always fashioned myself as a writer, and even though I have a degree in photography too writing was my first love but it fell away, as no new ideas came to me and I fell into a creative funk that became mild depression. Couple that with anxiety disorder in a high-stress work place, the depressive nature of the news, and other factors in my personal life, and I consider my furry friends lifesavers for my sanity and creativity. I found that spark again to write and currently am having my first go at an anthro story. I have a novel outlined I'd like to attempt to but I'm digressing from the main point.

My question is that I'm ready to accept my furriness and embrace it, but will I be thought of as another "wannabe" trying to be something they're not? I'm still terrified after the snub I got in college that coming into the community after being an outsider for so long I'll be looked at as some sort of poseur (no fursona to speak of and not yet a member of any furry social media). The fandom is something I want to involve myself in and be part of the community and bring what talents I have to help keep it alive. The friends I do have have been accepting, which gives me hope that once I make myself known more, that those fears will fall away. But in the back of my mind, I still have those self-sabotaging doubts.

Thank you in advance for reading this and I hope I was not a rambling bore. 

Best regards and best of health,

Rakkety Tam (age 29)
 
* * *
 
Hi, Rakkety Tam (love that name—how’d you come up with it?),
 
I completely understand this letter in many ways. As a writer myself, for example, I get what you are going through in attempting your first novel. I also understand the fear of not being accepted by the furry community, especially as an older furry. The times I’ve been to the Prancing Skiltaire party, for example, I felt like the complete outsider because it was nothing but young people (well, couple of older ones, including the hosts, of course) and they already had their cliques and all that. I stopped going for that reason. It’s also why I started the Facebook Greymuzzle Group for furries 30 and older (contact us on your next birthday) so that older furries could chat with each other more comfortably.
 
That said, two things are true here (in my experience): as a whole, the fandom is accepting of pretty much anyone, regardless of age, sexual preference, nationality, race, religion, etc. etc. However, it is also true that local groups of furries form, and each group can have its own microculture. Sometimes that culture is open and accepting, sometimes it is elitist and cliquish. A lot of this depends on who becomes the “leader” of the group. Their character as people will generally define the nature of the group they run. I’ve had people write to me at this column singing the praises of their local furry groups, while others feel completely ostracized by theirs. That group you met in college was not one of the better ones, apparently.
 
Just because you had a bad experience there, though, doesn’t mean it’s like that everywhere in the fandom. Indeed, I would say the bad groups are in the minority. You yourself note that while that college furry group was not so inviting your other furry friends have been “life savers.” You just need to keep socializing with more furries and establishing your furiends network, which will evolve over time.
 
You’re not a “wannabe” at all, Rakkety. Indeed, in my experience it is more common to see younger furs who are poseurs and who later drop out of the fandom because they just did it to try something different. It’s the same reason many young people do things like coloring their hair purple or getting a nose piercing. They are trying to find themselves and their creativity, but this period ends for many people who become “adults” and drop their furry pursuits because they are “childish.” Probably way over half of the under-20 furries you see now will not be involved in the fandom after they get regular jobs and start raising families and paying taxes and worrying about their mortgages or rent.
 
If you are still a furry in your late 20s, 30s, 40s and onward, you are hardcore in my book. You are furry for life, not just because it’s cool or outrageous, but because you have a furry soul. Papabear considers you a furry in my book. And, even if I didn’t, who cares? You aren’t a furry to please other people but to please yourself. So, enjoy the art, the comics, the books, and good luck with your writing! (I’d love to see it!)
 
You’ll make friends, don’t worry.
 
Bear Hugs,
Papabear

​Dear Papa Bear,

Hello! I’ll get right to the point, I have very recently discovered the furry fandom and it seems like something I would like to get into, but not a super hard core furry. I wouldn’t want an account on any furry related websites, and I’d probably post any furry art I make on my deviant art account (I’d continue to post non-furry art as well). I would design my fursona and draw her a lot but probably not make a full fursuit.

So all this considered, would I still be considered a furry or would I just be someone who likes anthropomorphic art? Also, would I still be considered a furry if I continued posting non-furry art?

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Lot’s of love
-Verity

P.S Sorry if this is a weird question, I couldn't find what I was looking for anywhere else.
 
* * *
 
Hi, Verity,
 
No worries. Papabear enjoys “weird questions.” This isn’t weird, though, believe me; not by a long shot.
 
The fundamental question you are addressing here is “What exactly makes a furry a furry?” The problem arises out of a fundamental human need to categorize, label, and file everything in specific, neat little categories. We do this because we have a desperate desire to understand our world and it makes it easier to do so when we can say “This is This and That is That.”
 
Real life is much more complicated than that, and that includes furry life! Most of the “definitions” you hear about who is a “real furry” and who is not are utter and complete baloney. “All furries wear fursuits” (only about 20% do); “All furries have to have a fursona” (nope, many do not); “All furries are obsessed with sex” (most definitely not); “Furries are all gay boys” (statistics prove otherwise); “Bronies are not furries” (who made you God of furries to tell someone he or she isn’t one?); “Furries all think they have an animal spirit inside them” (again, no, not at all; some do, some don’t).
 
The only thing that ties us together is our love of anthropomorphic animal characters. There is no club to join, no secret handshake, no clandestine meetings where we all don ears and tails and chant while dancing around an effigy of Nick Fox.
 
As to your specific question regarding whether you’re a furry if you also draw human characters. Sure, you can be a furry if you draw non-furry characters. If you want to be considered a furry, then you are a furry. If it will help, Papabear will get out his magic wand, wave it over your head, and announce “I dub thee furry!”
 
Don’t be silly, sweetie. Be furry if you like. Don’t be furry if you don’t like. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, be and do what you want to be and do.
 
Hugs,
Papabear

​Dear Papabear,

First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. It hurts a lot to lose someone you love (trust me, I know). Please accept my deepest condolences.

So here it goes…..
I have recently discovered the fandom, and it looks awesome! I see a lot of things that I would like to become involved with (fursuiting, volunteering, making new friends, etc.), within the fandom. However, I am a little unsure if I would fit in with all of it though, due to my age (I’m 36). Is there in age limit on this? What is the furry view of age within the fandom? Would I be the oldest guy at Anthrocon?!?! Any advice you give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

-Spirit Bear 

* * *
 
Dear Spirit Bear,
 
Thank you for your well wishes. As to your question, no, there is no limit on age. While it’s true that the majority of furries are in their teens and twenties, there are quite a few of us (including yours truly who is 50) who are older.
 
At 36, you’re what is known as a “greymuzzle,” or, as some of the overly sensitive types prefer, “elder fur.” Because the fandom tends to be so chronologically challenged, anyone 30 and over is considered “mature” by furry standards. I like greymuzzle because I have grey on my muzzle and because I believe it makes me look distinguished and shows that I’ve been around the block a few times.
 
Anyway, I founded a group on Facebook for greymuzzles that you are most welcome to join. I believe that people who are greymuzzles are hardcore furries. Many young furries are joiners and posers. They join the fandom because they think it’s outrageous and cool (which it is), but then when they get into the “real world,” finish school, get a job, etc., they consider furries childish and drop out of doing furry stuff. These are the “furry lights.” They don’t have true furry hearts. If you are a real furry, you are ALWAYS a furry until the day you die, is what this bear says!
 
So, welcome welcome, Spirit Bear! Love having another bear in the fandom! And your name says to me you see furry as something deeper than the fur. Good for you!
 
My advice: have fun with it. Avoid drama, whenever possible. Also, if you are financially secure, watch out for moochers and users (there are some of these around, sad to say). Attend furmeets and furcons (you will NOT be the oldest fur at Anthrocon, believe me), get involved with any special interest groups within the fandom (e.g., I also have a FB group just for bears), And just enjoy it as much as possible.
 
Life is waaaaay too short not to be enjoyed. Remember, the only real time you have is right now, so make the most of it.
 
Stay Furry,
Papabear

Hi Papabear, 

I must be honest I only found out about you today, but seeing some of the things fellow furries have asked you and seeing your responses, I immediately have huge respect for you and I'd like to say that I appreciate what you are doing. (especially to the recent suicide note, I am extremely sorry for the experience you had to go through Jean, I am here for you if you need any help because I'm also from South Africa :3)

In South Africa, the furry population isn't the largest so I personally have only chatted to furries over the internet and not in person.. Anyways I was wondering a couple of things about the furry fandom you can clear up for me.

1. I know usually the adult or "yiff" part of the furry fandom is frowned upon, but is it "wrong" to enjoy those kind of things within moderation of course?

2. I know that most furries are simply into artwork, but being a furry can entail (excuse the pun_ many different things depending on the person. I believe that my fursona is something which I want to be in real life if possible, and that I kinda am a furry "trapped" inside a human body if that makes sense. I'm wondering if that is common in the fandom or is it "strange". What does being a furry mean to you?

I am still relatively new to the fandom and I am still discovering myself in life, and well.. I'd like to know some more information if possible. Again thanks so much for all of the time, effort and work you have put into helping furries like myself, I appreciate you so much

Yours sincerely
Tocs :3

* * *

Dear Tocs,

I’ve been getting more and more letters like yours asking about the nature of furry, what it entails, and on and on. It makes me realize more how I have to get my tail moving on the book I am writing about the fandom (it’s coming!)

I could go on and on about how the fandom got where it is today and what it means to be furry these days, but that’s what the book’s about! It’s also a guide to the fandom (everything from how to run a furry business to how to perform in a fursuit and more). For now, let’s just focus on your two questions.

1. Whether or not “yiff” is frowned upon depends entirely on whom you ask. Some furries have no problem with it, and others feel offended by it. The fact is that it is part of the fandom and not going anywhere. The whole idea of anthros and furries evolved in the 1980s when certain artists and writers decided that what was then “funny animals” cartoons should have a more adult spin. This gave us everything from “Omaha the Cat Dancer” to “Associated Student Bodies” to the more in-your-face furporn you often see online. The difference between something like Omaha and the gratuitous sex in, say, an issue of Genus, is that the former include sex as part of the story while the latter is basically just a bunch of sexy images to get someone aroused. Is it “wrong” to be aroused by such things. Of course not. Sexuality is a part of human nature. Everyone has sexual fantasies of one sort or another, and if you get excited by an anthro character in the buff, that’s fine. As you say, if it’s in moderation, it’s okay. You only get into problems when sex becomes an addiction that interferes with the rest of your life, a topic I’ve written about before in this column.

2. Quite a few furries, including yours truly, feel like we don’t really belong in human bodies. At one end of this spectrum are therians (people who transform physically or spiritually into other animals—e.g. werewolves) and otherkin (people who feel they are elves, dragons, and other creatures considered by most humans as mythological or simply not human) to the other end of the spectrum where people just long to be other animals but know they (currently) are human. I’m more on the spiritual side of this in that I feel that the grizzly bear is the most prominent of my spiritual guides on my Medicine Wheel.

Furries are a diverse group. Some are artists, some are gamers, some are fursuiters, some are writers, some are more into the spiritual side of it. It has become a very complex group of people. The neat thing is that you can make of furry what you want. Remember: do not let anyone try to tell you “a furry is this and a furry is not that.” Don’t worry about defining it. Just be it.

Hugs,

Papabear