Dear Papa Bear,
I've written to you about 7 times now, and I know that can sound bad, but your help is really great! Recently, I asked my friend if he can record a reading of a fan-fiction so I can use his voice in stuff, and he agreed to it. He told me to give him the darkest, creepiest story I knew of. I thought he was serious so I gave him "My Little Pony: Cupcakes" which is really gory and extremely dark. It's basically about another pony torturing her friend till she dies and using her organs to make cupcakes. Based on that, you can tell that it's just plain creepy. Well, he read the story and sent me the recording, and then told me he was crying and that he never wants anything to do with cupcakes or ponies anymore. I didn't realize that it had scared him that much, and I've apologized several times, but I think I may have gone too far with it. He said he would record himself reading it as a favor, which he did, and now I feel horrible cause that little favor really scared him to the point where he's crying. So do you have any tips on how to say sorry and actually show it? I feel really bad. Sincerely, Gelato the Dragon P.S. Happy Late Birthday ^^ * * * Hi, again, Gelato, and thanks for the birthday wish :3 It’s sweet that you feel bad about your friend’s lachrymose behavior, but it’s not your fault. Did he not ask you to “give him the darkest, creepiest story I knew of”? So, you gave him what he asked for and now he’s upset? Completely not your fault. You were the “bigger man” and apologized to him—more than once—and that is more than you need to do. Perhaps you should ask him why, if creepy stories make him cry, he asked you to send him one. Sounds to me like he was trying to create drama to evoke sympathy from you. In other words, he’s a drama queen. Not to mention this is just fiction, and if he is driven to tears by freakin’ fiction, then he’s really going to have a hard time dealing with reality, which can be even creepier and darker than fiction, if you ask me. There are some people who are strongly affected by reading novels and short stories. They can empathize and relate to certain favorite characters and even be sad when they are hurt and die. I'm reminded of my English seminar on Charles Dickens back in college when I learned that thousands of people wept openly over the death of Little Nell in The Old Curiosity Shop. Good fiction evokes an emotional response. Perhaps you should take your friend's response as a compliment, in its way, of your writing skills in the genre of horror. Anyway, you don’t have to do anything further than you already have, Gelato, and please don’t feel guilty. At this point, just tell him you will never ask him to read another creepy story again, and leave it at that. You’re a good furry. Take a deep breath and stay cool. Hugs, Papabear P.S. Just so you know, your story, while chilling, is not the first to be about necrophilia. As an example, I give you the Broadway play Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
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Hello,
Just so you know, this might get a bit garbled, so apologies if it does. I'm having a rather unusual and very stupid problem which I know is unfounded and shouldn't be an issue but unfortunately is. You see I am...well, I hate to say 'in love with' but it seems to be that way with the cartoon character Tech E Coyote. The problem I have is I keep on seeing pictures of him doing all sorts of naughty things with other fursonas and...well it ticks me off. I will happily say that is defiantly shouldn't annoy me and everyone should be entitled to having their share of romance with a cartoon character and so on, but it's causing me to be...well angry with people I've never even met or talked to before, which just ain't damn right. I did think it was due to my brain almost thinking he was cheating on me, or something stupid like that, but it doesn’t happen with other male fursonas, only with female ones. I don't know if this is me trying to fool myself into thinking he's gay or something, but I really want to get this to stop happening, I shouldn't be having this happen. I've tried drawing my fursona with him, and it turns out terribly since I cannot draw at all. My question mainly is, is this natural and can I do anything about it? Thanks Stettfudd * * * Hi, Stettfudd, A lot of furries have what is technically called “schediaphilia,” which is an attraction for cartoon characters. Your attraction for Tech E Coyote is sexual, indeed, though you also say you love the character. And the only reason you are seeing Tech E in sexually explicit drawings online is because you are searching for furporn. The obvious solution for that problem is for you to stop looking at furporn on the Internet. If you don’t see Tech E “cheating” on you, you won’t get upset. You know, intellectually, that Tech E is fictional, and, therefore, you can’t have a relationship of any kind with him. Therefore, too, your jealousy and anger for those who are drawing Tech E in sexual situations is irrational. If you recognize this as true, that is a big step toward getting over your “love” for a drawing. The next step is to wean yourself off this character—and cartoons in general—and spend more time interacting with real people and less time with fictional personalities. That’s probably how you got into this dilemma in the first place: substituting fiction for reality. It might have been safer, at first, because cartoon characters don’t hurt your feelings or reject you, but now you are seeing just how unhealthy this can be. Extract yourself from the world of fantasy and animation; join the real world and you will hopefully meet a real person to fall in love with who won’t appear in someone else’s illustrated wet dream. This doesn't mean I'm against cartoon viewing, but in your case it has become an unhealthy obsession, so you need a break. In addition, your feelings of anger might be a case of transference. This is just speculation, but you might have some deep-seated anger issues about something else in your life that are coming to the surface via an artificial trigger: Tech E “cheating” on you. This possibility is best left explored in a therapist’s office. Hope this helps! If not, and if you can’t shake this obsession with Tech E, I would recommend your next step be to seek professional help. While it’s good you aren’t delusional and don’t believe Tech E to be real, your feelings of jealousy are still not healthy and may be indicative of something else troubling you that is not revealed in your letter. Good luck, Papabear Dear Papabear,
Please forgive me for sending yet another huge letter. I have a problem that I simply cannot solve alone, and since you have already helped me in the past, I was hoping you could do the same now. In my previous letter, I told you that I was straight. I wish my sexual orientation was as easy to understand as that. I suffer from O.C.D., and am currently undergoing therapy to cure my phobias, as well as my obsession with cleanliness. But it appears that my sexual orientation is being affected by my condition. A few years ago, I started having sexual desires for members of the same sex. I ended up finding a furry with whom I became friends with and, sooner than most, I started having sex with him. It felt fantastic, and I was happy. However, some time after I did it, I started obsessing about the fact that God would punish me and that I would end up in Hell. I went to the Church to confess, I talked to him, and everything was apparently over. But then I would come back, we would have sex again, I would feel guilty, and the cycle would endure for an eternity. I later discovered that he was talking about our relationship with others, a clear invasion of my privacy, as I told him I'd rather keep it a secret, and I ended up with him for good. But now, and despite my therapist saying it was part of my O.C.D, I feel an urge to find another male with which I can be happy with. But I am afraid the same thing will happen here, especially because I don't know what my sexual orientation is anymore. I am very confused at the moment, and this confusion is crippling my attempts to get cured. I also like girls, but a traumatic event involving a girl in the past make me become afraid of dating a girl. So, am I bisexual or am I just obsessed about having a relationship with a male? Yours Sincerely, C-Ratchet * * * Hi, again, C-Ratchet, Okay, I don’t know where you found your therapist, but your sexual orientation and your OCD have nothing to do with each other. Obsessing about cleanliness and obsessing over your guilt about having sex with a guy ARE indicative of OCD. So, let’s get one thing straight here right away: You are NOT going to Hell because you are gay or bi. That’s baloney contrived by religious zealots who are closed-minded about different forms of sexual expression. Put that worry aside, okay? Now, you really have two separate problems here: your OCD and coming to terms with your sexuality. Obsessive compulsive behavior is something that is never fully cured but can be managed successfully with good treatment and medication. It’s important that, once you find a treatment that works for you, you keep it up for the remainder of your life because, if you stop, the OCD will return. Where OCD CAN affect your sex life is in your performance. It usually does so in a negative way. People with untreated OCD may have trouble being aroused, may become easily dissatisfied with a partner, or might even come to fear sex (clearly not a problem when you were having satisfying sex with that guy). So, what your therapist might be referring to when it comes to the relationship between OCD and sex is the situation with your former girlfriend. You had an unpleasant experience with her that has led you to, perhaps, obsess with the idea that sex with any girl will now lead to another bad experience. Even if that scenario is true, your OCD would not make you gay. If you are truly straight, you would not find sex with a guy very pleasant, it would not make you feel “fantastic,” and you would not be happy about it. So, I believe that OCD may be keeping you away from girls but your true sexual orientation (i.e., you are either gay or bi) leads to your attraction to guys. I hope that alleviates your confusion. Remember to keep your OCD and your sexual orientation separate; they are two different things. OCD may affect your sexual performance, but it doesn’t turn you gay (or straight, for that matter). I’m uncomfortable with your therapist giving you that impression, and I think it would be a good idea for you to get a second opinion from another professional in the field. In the meantime, before pursuing another relationship, it would be a good idea to get your OCD under control. Focus on you, first, and then worry about a new relationship later. Good luck! Bear Hugs! Papabear Ok so (papabear) I need to know if there is a web site for young furs below the age of 18 and if so can you please tell me the name?
Brandon * * * Hi, Brandon, As far as I know, there is not a furry site just for furries under 18. So, I am posting your letter here asking for my readers' help. If anyone knows of such a site, please let me and Brandon know! Post a comment below! Papabear Hello,
So here's my question: My mom knows I am a furry, but she doesn't understand it and she doesn't have the right impression on it. I always see postings from other furrys my age saying how great and supporting their mom is, even helping them with a fursuit and taking them to cons. Well, that's not the case with my mom. Me and my mom are very close. So I would love it if she would support me and love me as a furry, seeing how being a furry is 45% of me. And she just doesn't understand. I try and try to explain it to her. I want her to get the picture and know the truths not the lies, but she just doesn't want to hear it! Every time I try to bring it up she says, “Not now,” or “Why are you still going on about this?” And she doesn't understand I'm trying to give her the truth but she's very VERY hard headed and thinks she's always right, but she's WRONG! One time when I tried to explain it she said, “Shut up, furrys are werid and that's it,” and then she'll go on about how it's bad and shiz. And I just want to scream in her face UH HELLO I’M AN ACTUAL FURRY HERE. DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD KNOW MORE ON FURRYS THAN YOU?!???! But nope, she knows everything. Now when I first told her I was a furry she really didn't care, but my oldest brother is a HUGE HUGE furry hater, and when he overheard us talking about it he butted in and went on and on about how they’re perverts and are 40 year old men. So then my mom assumed that was it and would not let me tell her that 99% of the furry fandom is clean and harmless and even the 99% hates the 1% who are weird because they were the ones who caused us to have the bad wrap and why there's stereotypes and haters on us. But no she said shut up. And my brother even went on YouTube and looked for that 1 video of the furry fandom that was bad and he went and through pages upon pages of clean and G videos to find that one to prove his point. So my mom has a bad first impression on furrys and I would like to teach her about the good and give her a new look at furrys, but she's so hard headed and she completely ignores the fact that I'm a furry. And it hurts because it’s like she's ingoring 45% percent of me and doesn't love and support 45% percent of me. And me and my mom are very close and have a very good relationship, so it hurts even more. So how can I get her to be able to listen and maybe get her to admit that maybe she was wrong? Waffles P.S. Yes I am a clean fur. I am against yiff. I think it is very wrong and it just plain down disturbing. But I do like fursuits and would like one of my own but murrsuits (the fursuits used for yah know eww) I am complete against. * * * Hi, Waffles :-3 Cute furry name, I like it :-D Waffles, yours is an interesting letter when it comes to stories about furries trying to make their parents accept them. That’s because you noted that it really wasn’t a problem at first when you told your mom you were a furry. What changed is when your derpy brother stepped into the picture. Once he came on the scene and started telling your mom furries were all bad, she believed him and now is upset. When it came between you and your brother’s opinions on furries, she took your brother’s side because he’s older and she thinks he knows more about it. Yes, I know, you are the one who is the furry, not your brother, so you should know more, but this is how a parent’s mind sometimes works. So, now you can talk to your mom until you are blue in the face and it won’t matter much because she has taken your brother’s side. The problem, then, will not be solved by arguing with your mom. You are talking to the wrong person. The person who’s opinion you have to change is your brother’s. If you are able to accomplish that, and then get him to go to your mom with you and admit that furries are okay, you will have solved your problem. So, how do you convince your brother? You and your mom have a good (mostly) relationship, but how about you and your brother? Often, there is sibling rivalry between brothers and sisters (it’s usually worse between brother and brother, sister and sister, but still happens brother v. sister). Papabear has an older sister by three years. For years, growing up, I was mom’s “baby” and would often get favored attention, which made my sister a bit jealous, I’m sure. We never had a very confrontational relationship (I was actually worse, hehe—I was kind of a brat to my sister at times, probably because I felt Mom would take my side), but sometimes there were clashes—thank goodness we grew up and are now much closer. I bring this up because you talked about how you and your mom had this super relationship. Perhaps your brother was jealous of that fact. Then, you discovered you were a furry. At first, your mom was fine with it, but then your brother saw his chance to move you down a peg by telling your mom bad things about furries. So, now, the tables are turned. Big Bro is on top and you have been demoted by your 45% furriness. You need to talk to your brother. Go to him and explain that you know this isn’t about your being a furry, this is about your brother hurting your feelings, causing you pain. Ask him flat out, “Do you really hate me that you want to hurt me like this?” You see, Waffles, right now he is winning because not only has he gotten himself between you and your mom but he doesn’t have to confront any guilt about it because the arguments have been between YOU and your MOM. If you bring HIM into the picture and show he is not a bystander here but actually hurting both you and your mom by damaging your relationship, he might wake up. Your weapon here is guilt. Make your brother feel guilty for what he has done to you and your mom. If he has a soul at all and cares at all about his family, it should make a difference. Ask him more questions: “Do you think I am a pervert? I am not the one looking at perverted stuff on the Internet; that would be you, brother. Does it make you feel good to drive a wedge between me and Mom? Are you proud of yourself? How did you find out about naughty furry pictures anyway? Are you looking at a lot of porn on the Internet? I don’t understand why you are doing this to me. Your my brother, don’t you like me?” Keep going, but don’t shout. Do this in a calm voice, but confront him with what he has done. And don’t expect an answer right away. After you have talked to him, finish with, “I hope you think about what you have done to me. It wasn’t nice at all.” Then leave him alone for a while. The next thing to happen all depends upon the character of your brother, whether he is a good person, down deep inside, or just a big derpy jerk. I’m hoping he is a good person, when push comes to shove. Let me know how it goes, Waffles. Bear Hugs, Papabear Dear Readers,
I told you furs that Papabear wasn't perfect, and yesterday's response to a letter is an example. But I will certainly admit when I am wrong and revise my opinion! As an explanation, not an excuse, I will just say that I had a knee-jerk response because it reminded me of a disturbing chapter in my own life, although that was not a matter of consensual incest. Yesterday's writer talked about a consensual sexual relationship with his aunt. I pointed out merely that it was, technically, illegal (in all states except Michigan and Rhode Island) and he should knock it off. I later pointed out in a response to another reader, Critter (thanks, buddy!), that such a relationship would likely wreak havoc within the furry's family and possibly lead to other problems, also noting that the relationship was likely inspired by lusty hormones and the opportunity of having access to a woman living alone in her home. That all aside, Critter noted that just because something is illegal doesn't make it wrong (citing the Civil Rights movement against racist laws and practices), also adding that just because some people think it's "creepy" doesn't mean it's bad. Agreed on both counts. Next, my mate, Yogi, chimed in, saying, "Don't assume that because she's his aunt that they are blood relations. She might be an aunt by marriage. She also might not be that much older than the writer." I bow to his sage insights. So, let's sum up. Is he doing something wrong? Is the aunt doing something wrong? Well, the writer is 19 years old, so he is of legal age. The aunt, too, obviously. Technically, what they are doing is illegal in Washington state, but cases of incest are very rarely prosecuted, even between much closer relations such as a man and his sister. Could their relationship damage the family? No doubts there, unless the family is incredibly open-minded, but maybe that doesn't matter if they are so absolutely in love they don't mind some anger from family members. I am concerned, though, about how much of this relationship is love and how much is simply lust. Critter and I both agree a little cooling off period might be wise so that they can both consider their motives for having sex with each other. But, if they decide after a little break that they want to continue with their relationship, as my mate said, "Meh! What do I care?" That really should be up to them, and Papabear apologizes for letting his personal emotions on the subject get in the way of offering objective advice on this particular matter. Returning to the writer's original question: "When is it normal? Is it common?" My answer would be that it is not very common, but that doesn't mean it is wrong. Is it normal? Oh, geez, after writing answers to over 400 letters in the past year-plus, I can honestly say there is no such thing as "normal." There is such a thing as "socially acceptable," but normal? No, just no. And when in doubt, I can always rely on the wisest advice I know from Wicca: If you are not hurting anyone, do what you will. The writer doesn't care, in the end, whether it is "right" or "wrong." He just wants to be with his aunt. It makes him happy and her, too, evidently. For now, at least, perhaps that is enough. Papabear Hello Papa Bear:
My fursona says it all, I consider myself a polar bear and I've been a furry for two years more or less, the reason of why I'm asking for your advice is because I have a little problem, so I'll start by the beginning: I live with my aunt in Seattle, my parents works a lot and (almost) the only times I can see them is on weekends, so she has been there for me whenever I needed some help and advice. I'm an art student and love it. Recently we've been having this... how can I say it... we feel this sexual attraction for each other; I know this is wrong and can't be possible but that's it. This attraction is so strong that ended into sexual intercourse more than once; honestly, I don't know how it happened, I guess you can say that “only happened.” Of course, I haven't told my parents about it because surely they will freak out and probably might want me to stay away from my aunt but I just can't help it and love her in the romantic way more than in the familiar way. Maybe this is the first time someone asks you about advice about cases of incest, I've been dealing with this for more than 4 months and this love for my aunt is not leaving me. I've been having these guilty/satisfaction feelings when I'm with her, there are sometimes when we even go out as a couple but then I realize that I'm dating my aunt and minutes later I just don't care. Can you help me with this? I mean, I need some advice, when it is normal? is it common? With love, Anonymous * * * Dear Anonymous, Although of course you are going to have a big problem with your family about this if they ever find out, you have a bigger problem. Incest is illegal in most states in the USA, including where you live, Washington state. The penalty for incest, which includes intercourse with a parent, sibling, one of your children, a grandparent, a niece or nephew, and, yes, an aunt or an uncle, is 14 years in Washington. Be glad you don’t live in North or South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, or Florida, where you can get life in prison (interestingly, my former home state of Michigan has no problem with incest [no legal code against it, anyway]—somehow that’s not surprising to me given some of the residents I’ve seen there). So, forgetting the morality of it, you should stop this relationship now. Your aunt is also criminally guilty and needs to be informed of this and start acting like an adult instead of having sex with her 19 year old nephew. I’m not really going to get into the morality of this. I don’t really have to because the legalities of it should be enough incentive, I hope, for you to stop. As well as the fact of how this relationship would really create havoc within your family should it be discovered. And, trust me, it WILL be discovered if you let it continue long enough. I would also recommend that both of you get some counseling. No, this behavior is not normal and it is not common, though it does happen. I think you are letting your hormones run away with you and control your actions; your aunt should be ashamed of herself for participating with you and encouraging you. I hope the fact that you could both go to prison will be enough to get you to stop. Finally, I recommend that you change your living situation as soon as possible. I hope you will listen to my advice. Good luck. Papabear Hello Papa Bear!
I read your letters to furs sometimes on your site and you have answered one of mine in the past. So thank you for the advice! School is awesome now that freshmen year of high school is long behind me and each passing year seems to get better and better. Now I even have a mate and overall I'm having a good life. But what's on my mind constantly is religion. I grew up Roman Catholic and am still being raised this way. I went to a Catholic grade school where it seemed like the traditions and teachings are forced into you like math class. (There actually are religion classes if you go to a Catholic school no matter where you attend.) And every class seemed the same. It's not just "this is the Bible and you must follow it." Not at all. Catholicism actually doesn't focus that much on the Bible as much as one might think. It's still important but Catholics focus much more on the morals that it teaches more than anything else which I have been grateful for. But what the religion classes actually taught was how to be a good person (aka not sinning,) and following the beliefs and traditions. Sounds good and harmless right? Ha ha, no. Absolutely not. Don't get me wrong, there were good qualities that taught, but The older I got and the more I submitted the more I realized this: the Catholic church teaches petty perfection, guilt and a lemming-like following. One teacher even taught that if you didn't follow the traditions you weren't Catholic. I seem really biased and like I'm digging at Catholics by laying it down like this but this really is how I see it. Growing up by the Catholic teachings has made me timid of making any mistake. Any. It makes me feel guilty every time I so much as think of sinning (or whatever seems like it.) The more I saw this about myself the more I began to wonder if that's really what God would want out of us. Would he really want us to be perfect? Would he want us to be cringing in fear of him every time we make a mistake? What my parents told from a young age is that God is merciful and loves all his creations. I believe this because I was given a blessed life with a loving family friends. But it seems like the Church is trying to teach the opposite. Especially when it comes to the Church's stance on homosexuality and same sex marriages. I was always told in school and at church that marriage was meant for a male and a female only with no exceptions. I was ok with this for a while. But being bisexual myself I'm not so good with this idea anymore. First of all if someone is homosexual or bisexual it isn't their fault. God made them that way for a reason right? And as I've learned over the years: love is love. God always loves his creations no matter who they are. God would want his creations to love and be loved wouldn't he? So why can't the church realize this? I say tradition is too deep rooted in their minds. But really all my thoughts on Catholicism begs the question. Is Catholicism really for me? Do I really need it? I kind of found myself growing out of it. I learned and am still learning all about morals, and good character and such outside of the church. I don't know if what's left for me in Catholicism. I'm not worried about what anyone else thinks about my decision. Really I'm worried about myself here. But at the same time I'm really wondering if I should stay. Despite all my thoughts on it I'm having a surprisingly hard time deciding whether I should stay or go. My early "training" might be holding me back naturally, but I'm not entirely sure. I don't know if I want to leave Catholicism or if I want to stay with it. I don't think I can use my own input on this any longer. Thank you, Dawnstar * * * Hi, Dawnstar, Far be it for me to tell you what religion to follow. That’s an extremely personal choice. Reading through your letter, it’s pretty clear you have come to some conclusions about life and spirituality that no longer mesh with your Catholic upbringing. In my opinion, this is a good thing. Not because you are drifting away from Catholicism (a religion that gives millions comfort) but because it shows you are thinking for yourself, not just mimicking what you have been taught all your life. Probably what brings a lot of this questioning about is the fact that you’re bisexual and the Catholic Church considers bisexuality and homosexuality a sin, although Pope Francis recently said the following about gay people: “A gay person who is seeking God, who is of good will — well, who am I to judge him?” The pope added, “The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this very well. It says one must not marginalize these persons, they must be integrated into society. The problem isn’t this (homosexual) orientation — we must be like brothers and sisters. The problem is something else, the problem is lobbying either for this orientation or a political lobby or a Masonic lobby.” Which is interesting in that he seems to be saying the Catholic Church should be tolerant about gay people, as long as they are not lobbying for their rights. Hmm. I personally feel that religions make a relationship with God more difficult, because they put a lot of rules, rituals, traditions, and laws in the way. This is done purely to create a priestly/authoritarian class between you and God so that certain people will have power over you and define your Faith (a paradigm even more powerful than nationalism). All you really need to know is what you have already said, Dawnstar. God is love, and loves all His creations, flaws and all. He is not sending you to Hell because you are bi. Frankly, I could not believe in a God whose sense of compassion was inferior to mine, and since I can find love in my own heart for people of all races, nationalities, religions, sexual orientations etc., I believe that God’s compassion is infinitely greater than my own. Therefore, He loves you infinitely more than I do, and infinitely more than the Church does. As for the question of didn’t God create gay and bi people? Depends on your point of view on the topic. Some people think that gay and bisexual people choose to be that way because they are sinful, not because they were born that way. I—and I’m sure you—am of the opinion that we were created this way, with our sexuality ingrained in us; therefore, why would God create an “evil” creature just to get His jollies to condemn him or her to an eternity of suffering? He wouldn’t. Please note, this is just my opinion. I also feel that, since I do not know what [insert deity/deities of your choice here] plan is, it would be very presumptuous of me to say I know. Perhaps God really does like rosary beads and old men wearing funny hats. I find the notion ridiculous, but I cannot say differently with any sense of authority. Perhaps this question would have been better answered by my mate, Yogi, who was raised Catholic. But my feeling about all formal religions, in general, is that they make spirituality far more complicated than it needs to be. If we all simply loved each other and were kind to one another, and loved God, as well, we wouldn’t need anyone telling us when to go to church, which way to bow, and whether or not we can eat a certain food on a certain day or need to fast or need to go on a pilgrimage. It would all be utterly unnecessary because we would be living in a paradise on earth. Also, I must assert here, the fact that we have different religions and people telling us that THEIR religion is right and YOUR religion is wrong has caused more wars and human suffering than anything else in human history. Dawnstar (by the way, lovely choice of a name), you’re feeling anxious because you fear disapproval from family and society if you explore your own direction to find your own spirituality. Yes, that is scary, indeed, and it will take courage for you to do this. But, in your heart, you have already done it. You have already decided that a lot of the religious teachings you have received are not right for you. The rest is really just formality. You are also hesitant because you are afraid of distancing yourself from what has long been familiar in your life, even if you feel what is familiar is wrong. This is understandable as well. You must decide whether you wish to live a lie just so you can fit in, or whether you wish to be true to yourself and find a life that fits you rather than the other way around. I applaud you for awakening to your own truth and to the wisdom that God loves you for you, as you are one of his beautiful creations. Good luck! Be brave! Papabear |
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